Saturday, August 20, 2011

Redneck Tableau



1. "Dang, Ma, we'll never make it to Martha's Vineyard at this rate."

2.Any given Wal-Mart parking lot on any given Saturday.

3. "There must be a way we con shove a few more air conditioners into a few more windows."

4. In later years, the Mystery Machine was swapped for a trailer, and Fred and Daphne really let themselves go.

5. The new Homeland Security "See Something Say Something" PSA stubbornly continued the practice of portraying anybody but Muslims as potential terrorists.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Atomic Batteries to Power, Turbines to speed..."

Best of Robert
Paw - caint ewe stawp eatin' them funnel cakes long 'nuff fer me to clean up this mess ewe made in this char?

Best of blue
Where da Walmart??? We need more depends......

Best of Censors Hip
"...and that shiny black bus will take you to the Soylent Green Senior Center!!!!

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Turns out ma & pa's combined weight cut the MPG to 3, so Edwina dropped them off on the side of the road and continued on to Disneyworld.

Threadwinner: Mr Hankey
Isn't this how all Redneck pornos start??

Best of Dr. Doom
Flounder finally proves that fat, drunk, and stupid is the way to go through life...

Best of Submariner
If the Star Wars saga had been writtne by Steinbech.

Best of JohnS1959
In Joe Biden's world, this is a Tea Party sleeper cell...

Best of Vinneh
"Thelma, if it wasn't for winning Power Ball this dream vacation would have never happened."

21 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

"Atomic Batteries to Power, Turbines to speed..."

Robert said...

Paw - caint ewe stawp eatin' them funnel cakes long 'nuff fer me to clean up this mess ewe made in this char?

The presidential tour bus in post-prosperity America.

Look like we found the Grey Poupon.

Eagerly awaiting the start of Gay Pride in the Castro.

blue said...

Where da Walmart??? We need more depends......

Censors Hip said...

"...and that shiny black bus will take you to the Soylent Green Senior Center!!!!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Turns out ma & pa's combined weight cut the MPG to 3, so Edwina dropped them off on the side of the road and continued on to Disneyworld.

-OR-

Land sakes, Tiny, lookit the mess you made. What a retard. I told you this ain't no portapotty!
Sorry, ma.
Dangit, never shoulda had married my own brother.

-OR-

The only commercial out of 18 for:
a) RV sales
b) weight loss scams
c) puddin pops
d) Verizon mobile
e) Fruit of the Loom
f) Nivea
deemed not to be "racist" by 99% of 400 bleeding heart liberals polled.

Mr Hankey said...

...and here's the propane hook-up. Bend over Kyle so's I can get it in you.

Mr Hankey said...

Isn't this how all Redneck pornos start??

Dr. Doom said...

Five Years In the Future...

The average Amerikkkan middle class family brings the house to Wal-Mart to stock up on government cheese...

Dr. Doom said...

Flounder finally proves that fat, drunk, and stupid is the way to go through life...

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Dang, I dunno, Bubba. Damn thing just keeps backfiring.

Submariner said...

John Stewart dreams of Red Staters...

Submariner said...

If the Star Wars saga had been writtne by Steinbech.

jj said...

Obviously this is a terrorist plot in the making...Anyone have Big Sis' phone number?

jj said...

After the next stock market crash the FEMA trailers start to arrive in W. Palm Beach, FL.

Jack Reacher said...

"Stimulus Multiplier Effect? The only thing I see multiplying, Roy, are the stains on your scooter."

Jack Reacher said...

When you remove the body panels, you see the what's at the core of the Chevy Volt.

JohnS1959 said...

In Joe Biden's world, this is a Tea Party sleeper cell...

Rodney Dill said...

After the canning of Tressel, tailgating at Ohio State Football games really went down hill.

Anonymous said...

"Thelma, if it wasn't for winning Power Ball this dream vacation would have never happened."

Vinneh

Matt the K said...

Merry Christmas! Shitter was full.

Submariner said...

"No durn wind storm'll get the better a me THIS time, that's fer DAMN sure!"
FEMA On-Site Director Myron J Pflugg springs into action and heads out for the Superdome.