Saturday, August 13, 2011

Michele Bachmann... No-o-o-o-o-o--o-o-o-o-o-o!




Best of prince of leaves
    "Oh yeah? Well I bet Tim Pawlenty can't do THIS! [guglglguguugggugulglgl] Hah!"

Best of Rodney Dill
    She sucked out the gay and now its completely straight.

Best of mpur
    Now that's how you win a straw poll.

Best of Kaptain Krude
    I was very interested in her speech...
    then very, very interested...
    and then I lost interest.

Threadwinner: Dactyl
    NOM NOM NOM

Best of GregMan
    At least she can fall back on a position as Safe Schools Czar if the primaries don't break her way.

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
    "How deep is your love..."

Best of dadoctah
    "...and next it's off to the petting zoo to get photographed stroking some anacondas."

Best of Submariner
    Bachman Weiner Overbite

Best of dadoctah
    This is what passes for porn in Iowa.

Best of Steve O
    Michele Bachmann, moving up in the poles...

45 comments:

Double the U said...

Being submissive again I see.

prince of leaves said...

Andrew Breitbart scores yet another picture of a member of Congress doing incriminating things with their weiner.

prince of leaves said...

"Oh yeah? Well I bet Tim Pawlenty can't do THIS! [guglglguguugggugulglgl] Hah!"

prince of leaves said...

Romney knew the primary was over when the polls showed every straight male likely voter enthusiastically supporting Bachmann.

prince of leaves said...

She didn't support his position on gay marriage, but Bachmann shared Gavin Newsome's strange obsession.

Martin Hollowell said...

Why does Michele keep testing her poor husband, Marcus? He told her he was cured of "the gay".

dadoctah said...

And isn't that Schwarzenegger over by the fish taco vendor?

Anonymous said...

Barney Frank would not be impressed.

Rodney Dill said...

There's nothing quite like a pr0ndog at the Iowa State Fair.

Rodney Dill said...

She sucked out the gay and now its completely straight.

mpur said...

Now that's how you win a straw poll.

Kaptain Krude said...

I was very interested in her speech...

then very, very interested...

and then I lost interest.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Michele went down on a corndog to fill the big void left after removing yet another size 11 foot from her mouth.

-OR-

"Nonviable Candidacy"
Michele really knows how to third party.

-OR-

Every time her handlers turn their backs for even a second, Michele tears another piece off of the "Please Take Me Seriously" banner.

-OR-

Ignoring lessons from Palin's failures, another female candidate learns why photo ops have to be staged.

-OR-

The cover photo on the "Michele Does Iowa" video wasn't as wicked as "Debbie Does Dallas" but it turned out to be damn good pr0n.

-OR-

Later, she breathlessly explained, "My husband told me to hurry and eat it in one bite so I did."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

As more women and gheys run for office, there's talk of adding rule #381 to the candidates' playbook:
When in public, avoid bananas, foot longs, corndogs, longneck beer bottles, Haitian reefers and virile senate pages.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The Cornhusker Chronicler quoted Michele as saying: "Seriously, I didn't even think of it a phallic symbol. We always do 'IT' with the lights out."

-OR-

Late-breaking news: Charlie Sheen throws his entire support in front of her.

Dactyl said...

NOM NOM NOM

jj said...

State Trooper in background thought bubble, " I'd like to run into her on the midnight shift at the Krispy Kreme..."

jj said...

How to get 95% of the straight male vote. Have Sarah start at the other end and they'd meet in the middle.

GregMan said...

Mysteriously, hordes of San Francisco democrats put Michelle Bachmann over the top in the Iowa straw poll.

GregMan said...

As if I didn't already have enough reasons to vote for Michelle.

GregMan said...

At least she can fall back on a position as Safe Schools Czar if the primaries don't break her way.

Dr. Doom said...

Ms. Bachman demonstrates her keen understanding of the President's economic policy...

Censors Hip said...

What, no mustard?

Anonymous said...

Michele Bachmann... Yes-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s!

Not even for eating crackers in bed!

Oiao

Anonymous said...

At least she's not strapping it on.

Vinneh

Anonymous said...

And, she immediately got a call from Bill Clinton, "Michelle, I thought you said you like horndogs."

Vinneh

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

"How deep is your love..."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

It's Photo Op Time!: Michele teaches wilderness-bound Boy Scouts how to thoroughly brush their teeth with a stick.

-OR-

Michele is so anti-ghey - HOW ANTI-GHEY IS SHE? she'll write a plank in the Republican platform demanding that only straight pretzels be sold on Sundays.

-OR-

When asked what she'd do if a crazy got through a phalanx of Secret Service agents, Michele demonstrates how to gnaw a guy's arm off.

WordVerify: storkin - long-legged birds that surreptitiously follow pregnant women around do this.

dub said...

I dont have the heart to tell her they said "Clown dyke", not "Klondike".

dadoctah said...

"...and next it's off to the petting zoo to get photographed stroking some anacondas."

Spineless Vertebrae said...

"I can do it better!" Yelled a prideful Jenna Jameson.

Submariner said...

"Amateur..." sniffed Johnny Weir.

Submariner said...

Bachman Weiner Overbite

Submariner said...

Proving she was a lady, Michelle grabbed the back of her own head and forced herself to swallow...

Submariner said...

Most choose mustard, Michelle. Mayo is quite an unusual choice...

Submariner said...

POL said...
"Oh yeah? Well I bet Tim Pawlenty can't do THIS!


Actually, he can.

dadoctah said...

This is what passes for porn in Iowa.

Rodney Dill said...

Later that day, Marcus licked the center out of a jelly donut, to prove they were an entirely normal couple.

Rodney Dill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rodney Dill said...

Michelle: "Pimmfff on Ymmm, ahm wonnnffin orrr Mmel Brmmmff."
(Piss on you, I'm working for Mel Brooks)

dub said...

Mr. Clinton will see you now.

Steve O said...

Michele Bachmann, moving up in the poles...

Steve O said...

Michele Bachmann, demonstrating her ability to pull a head in the poles...

Steve O said...

Although Michele pretty much had the "Teabagger" vote locked up to begin with, her campaign manager calls for a "coup de gras."

Rodney Dill said...

I think we're gonna need a bigger vote.