1. Since turning 50, the SCOAMF has become increasingly concerned that there might be kids on his lawn.
2. "Hmmm.... now what can I f--k up today," wondered the SCOAMF.
3. "What the Hell? Did Rick Perry just drop a deuce on my yard?"
4. "Help! Um help! I've accidentally locked myself, um, inside the, um, house."
5. Looking out from the rear window of his apartment, Jimmy Stewart was shocked to witness a black man murdering the economy.
Best of HLam
"Looks like a good day for golf...I'm outta here!"
Best of blue
"Staring out the window, day dreaming about my anal fantasy....I like the salmon flavour best."
Best of Submariner
BO thawt bubble; "Dammit; I, um, was SURE I, uh, heard reality, um, uh, sneaking up on, uh, me!"
Best of metalgarth
If those crackers keep playing that AC/DC so loud, Imma be sending the ATF after Gibson.
Best of Dr. Doom
"Door or window?", pondered Mr. Obama.
Best of dwhawk
Stupid Palin. How come I can't see Russia from MY house?
Best of dub
Nope...no white women be at out here.
Best of Jack Reacher
"Is that the ice cream truck I hear? I want a double dip! See what I did, there?"
Best of Spin
Those sons of bitches made me come home early AND wear a tie and now it ain't even raining.
Best of Rodney Dill
Ferris Obama's Day Off. (pretty much like any other day)
Best of GregMan
"How come nobody ever invites me to their flash mobs?"