1. Eager members of the press corps assume the position in expectation of President Obama's arrival.
2. "Sorry, Mr. Olbermann... those are Mr. Maddow's groupies."
3. At her sorority's 20th anniversary reunion, Bertha showed she was still limber enough to win over the offensive line in the customary Kappa Kappa Gamma manner.
4. Every family get-together, without fail, Aunt Jean would get drunk and reminisce about her days as an intern in the Clinton Administration.
5. [INSERT 72 VIRGINS REFERENCE HERE]
Best of Rodney Dill
"Who took my f*ck'n corndog?"
Best of Double the U
Tell that stupid Tea-bagger that we *ARE* working.
Best of Jack Reacher
Genifer just learned she may qualify for a motorized chair at little or no cost to herself.
Best of jj
Where the hell is my doctor's note???
Best of Submariner
Maude always left 'em rolling in the aisles when she sang the national anthem as Roseanne Barr.
Best of Artfldgr
Look Claire, i dont care what that psychic said, your not the reincarnation of Al Jolson, and people dont like Mammy any more...
Best of Dactyl
Honest this time: "Real Housewives of R'lyeh, coming this fall on Bravo."
Best of Artfldgr
Jennifer was so surprised when the strap on her new Wonderbra snapped...
Best of PabloD
That's not a beer; it's a half-pint of gravy...
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
NASA's limited budget means they can only attempt to recreate a black hole by colliding obese women into each other at very slow speeds.
Best of custom essay
The crowd at the Stevie Nicks concert is starting to look dated! This nice thanks!
Best of blue
Hey meester, you sleep with my sisteer, for 100 pesos she be a virgin for you, 72 times...
Best of GregMan
Can't believe no one came up with this one yet:
"Get in mah bellah!"
50 comments:
"SERENITY NOW!!!"
"Who took my f*ck'n corndog?"
"If I don't get free healthcare, I'll continue to show up to teach your little Tommy and Janey drunk."
WV: dolyt - How this dolt, spells "dolt"
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, Ma'am.
Tell that stupid Tea-bagger that we *ARE* working.
Damn! It was obvious Nancy wasn't a swallower when she showed up with a cup.
Vinneh
Genifer just learned she may qualify for a motorized chair at little or no cost to herself.
Kobe was last seen fleeing in terror.
"I said, 'Have the Verizon repair people shown up at your house yet?'".
reason five we don't go to
Ravenclaw (ora)
"Packers! Wooo!"
"I am so as hot as Michelle Bachmann!"
HAPPY THURSDAY Y'ALL!!!
Where the hell is my doctor's note???
Maude always left 'em rolling in the aisles when she sang the national anthem as Roseanne Barr.
"Soylent Yellow" is Asians!
"I'M.NOT.VOTING.FOR.THIS.CRAP.OFFER.UNTIL.THEY.ADD.A.CLAUSE.TO.GIVE.YOU.A.CHEERLEADER.TEACHING.ASSISTANT.ONCE.YOU'VE.TAUGHT.FOR.10.YEARS!"
"I wan' a jussipussi!"
"NO! He done throwed the NEA under the bus!" ...and then Genifer awoke from her nightmare.
Hey, you damn monors;
GET.OFF.MY.DAWN!
VERY ORA: Mamee!
And then Dawn's grandmother's head exploded.
Do boys fantasize about their teachers? Eh - not so much.
VW: bralicse - I'm sure theres a joke in there (e.g. two five-gallon buckets and a steel cable).
Hillary?
Look Claire, i dont care what that psychic said, your not the reincarnation of Al Jolson, and people dont like Mammy any more...
Before they started selling beer this bingo hall was a lot less interesting...
Here is the image of Ms Castillo when she threw the winning roll at the craps table in Nevada...
C'mere baby, now we wimmans can get hitched and im proposin!!!
The crowd at the Stevie Nicks concert is starting to look dated...
AIR GUITAR SOLO!!!
Inspector #14? Hey, she did my Fruit of the Looms!
In a parallel universe, Army of Mom has this outfit. And she's damned pissed about it.
Honest this time: "Real Housewives of R'lyeh, coming this fall on Bravo."
Gimme that miller high life fat boy!!! Come ta momma!
Jennifer was so surprised when the strap on her new Wonderbra snapped...
That's not a beer; it's a half-pint of gravy...
Help me girls! I've fallen and I can't get up!!
-or-
NASA's limited budget means they can only attempt to recreate a black hole by colliding obese women into each other at very slow speeds.
-OR-
Hallelujah Bejebus! Down with Portion Control!
Relief spreads across fat Edna's face like melted suet on a piping hot glazed ham after she hears that obesity may not shorten life span... for a lucky few.
The crowd at the Stevie Nicks concert is starting to look dated! This nice thanks!
Pig night at Miller Park
"Cold day in Hell, Walker, Ainahay"
"Bring back the bubblers."
Uh oh, it looks like Senator Franken's groupie has a load on again...
Help me girls! I've fallen and I can't get up!!
OR
Help me!! The girls have fallen, and they can't get up!!
A lean, mean, teaching machine.
I thought John Candy was dead
Oh stop your screamin Mildred, that's the fourth time you drank so much you blew out your knee, besides Tom Jones is coming on any minute and i want you to help me get my underwear off so i can throw it to him
Angelina thought the habanero sauce was very hot going down, but later on in the casino, they turned nuclear
Mercedes had never been so worked up for midget body builder Chippendales night out with the girls before, but she was ready!
Watching her husband take 3 hours to grill a burger finally got to Esmeralda, shes made as hell and is not going to take it any more!
Hey meester, you sleep with my sisteer, for 100 pesos she be a virgin for you, 72 times...
Can't believe no one came up with this one yet:
"Get in mah bellah!"
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