Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The Giant Black Weiner Mobile


1. "Where the frak are we? Biden, gimme that map!"

2. "The wheels on the bus go 'round and... um... round... all... dammit, how does it go? Get me my damn Teleprompter."

3. ORA: As Malachi's shouts of "Outlander! Outlander! We have your woman!" faded in his ears, Obama could only smile.

4. "Somebody made the mistake of asking that Dawn woman to sit in the back and... well... it's just a godawful mess back there."

5. "If we spend less than $50,000,000 an hour, this bus will explode."

Best of Dr. Doom
The Obama Misery Tour bus stops in Iowa so the President can fertilize a wheat field with his campaign rhetoric.

Best of sonicfrog
ORA: “There is a world, just beyond now, where reality runs a razor thin seam between fact and possibility; where the laws of the present collide with the crimes of tomorrow. Patrolling these vast outlands is a new breed of lawman, guarding the fringes of society’s frontiers, they are known simply as ‘Highwaymen’... and this is their story...”

Best of Jack Reacher
You call it corn, we call it downgrade.

Best of sonicfrog
David Attenborough: "... And, like a lion in the Sarengeti, we see - how stealthfully - this magnificent creature of the wild - stalks it's Conservative prey..."

Best of jimmy
Bogged down? No problem. We can count on government to come pull us out.

Oh, hell!

Best of metalgarth
Black helicopters are so 1990s and have too big of a 'carbon footprint'

Best of GregMan
Andrew Sullivan sighed and said, "It's big, and black, and long, and hard! It even has Obama in it! Home run!"

Best of jj
This one'll never bottom out like the limo in London. M'chelle's on the other bus.

Best of Submariner
...and then the President was wished behind the wheat...

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
Why am I hearing "The Ride of the Valkyries" being played on six kazoos and a juice harp?

Best of Dactyl
It's engine humming quietly, it's magnificent grill and foretires eagerly awaiting prey to be thrown under them, the great Barakosaurus Federalus will crouch patiently in the underbrush for days on end, if necessary. Waiting for a herd of unwitting taxpayers, perhaps; or a lone former ally that's grown weak and outlived it's usefulness to the Hope Collective...

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Can it do wheelies?? Perhaps if Michelle moved to the back of the bus. Ooops, sorry sir, poor choice of words.

Best of Rodney Dill
Cue the theme from "Jaws"

51 comments:

USMC2841 said...

The Sooooouuuullllll Buuuuuuuuusssss!

Rodney Dill said...

Obama didn't flinch at buying 15 Schnitzengrubenmobiles for his personal entourage.

Rodney Dill said...

What are the directions to Redbud again?

Rodney Dill said...

"MOVE THAT BUS...."

Rodney Dill said...

While Palin bags a moose or two, Obama is on the hunt for the elusive Corndog

Rodney Dill said...

While Obama stops to take a leak the media jumps on the Photo Opportunity to prove that the President is outstanding in his field.

Rodney Dill said...

If you teleprompt it, they will come.

Rodney Dill said...

Obama: "C'mon... can't I wear Dukakis' tank helmet while I'm drivin' this thing?"

Rodney Dill said...

National Lampoon: First Family Vacation

Dr. Doom said...

Letterman Jokes we'll never hear:

"Hey Paul, what's sleek and black and completely lost?"

Dr. Doom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rodney Dill said...

Michelle: "How many D-cells does that take?"
(ATDHE)

Anonymous said...

"100 bottles of beer on the wall, a 100 bottles of beer, if one of those bottles should happen to fall..."

Vinneh

Chuck Martel said...

Don't go riding on that long black train.

Anonymous said...

With the economy in the toilet, they should call it the real Bang Bus.

Vinneh

Dr. Doom said...

The Obama Misery Tour bus stops in Iowa so the President can fertilize a wheat field with his campaign rhetoric.

sonicfrog said...

ORA: “There is a world, just beyond now, where reality runs a razor thin seam between fact and possibility; where the laws of the present collide with the crimes of tomorrow. Patrolling these vast outlands is a new breed of lawman, guarding the fringes of society’s frontiers, they are known simply as ‘Highwaymen’... and this is their story...”

Rodney Dill said...


Let me tell 'bout a story, of a man of IQ Zed,
Poor community organizer, raisin' money for the Fed.

Jack Reacher said...

You call it corn, we call it downgrade.

Jack Reacher said...

They worked with what they had in the current regulatory climate, but the Gulfstream VI was considered by some to be a step backwards.

WV: taxyrop. Uh huh.

sonicfrog said...

David Attenborough: "... And, like a lion in the Sarengeti, we see - how stealthfully - this magnificent creature of the wild - stalks it's Conservative prey..."

jimmy said...

Bogged down? No problem. We can count on government to come pull us out.



Oh, hell!

metalgarth said...

Black helicopters are so 1990s and have too big of a 'carbon footprint'

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Can you imagine how much of a stink the ACLU and the liberal press would make if a Republican road around in a white bus?

-OR-

You want ME to choose which fork in the road to take? I can't make that decision. Call my Minister of Directions and have him put something up on a teleprompter... and be quick about it!

-OR-

X-Files 2011
Mulder and Scully find themselves chasing another mysterious black vehicle carrying aliens... only these aliens are posing as Americans!

-OR-

Mr. President, for crying out loud, will you please stop making crop circles in the poor guy's field and head for the next town?

-OR-

Overheard on the Secret Service radio channel: Oh hell, guys, POTUS just grabbed the wheel and is trying to run down Biden again!

GregMan said...

Andrew Sullivan sighed and said, "It's big, and black, and long, and hard! It even has Obama in it! Home run!"

GregMan said...

Thump! There goes Rev. Wright!

Thump! There goes my racist Grandma!

Thump! There goes Israel! Damn, there's a lot of stuff getting thrown under this bus!

jj said...

This one'll never bottom out like the limo in London. M'chelle's on the other bus.

Submariner said...

Check the Uncle Tom Tom, Michelle...





ATDHE-A

Submariner said...

Where da arugala at?

Submariner said...

...and then the President was wished behind the wheat...

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Entire villages were leveled and the ground planted with corn to fuel the Obusma.

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Why am I hearing "The Ride of the Valkyries" being played on six kazoos and a juice harp?

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

ORA: "Vote fer Stokes, Brother!"

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Is it just me, or is the front of the bus wearing clown makeup?

Anonymous said...

Another job "saved or created."

You ain't gonna believe this.

Obama is touring America about jobs, in a bus made in Canada.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/canadian-luxury-bus-ferries-u-idiot-obama-175506896.html

Submariner said...

Is it just me or does that bus look like a big, black Roto-Rooter tanker?

Submariner said...

Better spread it thin, Barry; it's a big country...

Robert said...

Looks like Darth Vader's bus.

Dactyl said...

It's engine humming quietly, it's magnificent grill and foretires eagerly awaiting prey to be thrown under them, the great Barakosaurus Federalus will crouch patiently in the underbrush for days on end, if necessary. Waiting for a herd of unwitting taxpayers, perhaps; or a lone former ally that's grown weak and outlived it's usefulness to the Hope Collective...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Can it do wheelies?? Perhaps if Michelle moved to the back of the bus. Ooops, sorry sir, poor choice of words.

-OR-

Obamalama wonders why they're catching every light until someone 'splains that the campaign's getting a funeral escort.

-OR-

Nothing says "Hope & Change" in a more upbeat way than a long black dirgemobile.

-OR-

The driver didn't want to polish the bus every day and got in trouble for suggesting that ONE of Michelle's old dresses could cover it at night.

-OR-

ORA Wile E. Coyote
The bus is like the dark ACME tunnel if you remove the mountain.

Rodney Dill said...

David Attenborough: "... And, like a lion in the Sarengeti, we see - how stealthfully - this magnificent creature of the wild - stalks it's Conservative prey..."

Part of the Sarengeti is in Kenya, heh heh.

Rodney Dill said...

(The Liberal Economist Road Song)

86 bottles of beer on the wall,
86 bottle of beer,
take one down, pass it around
87 bottles of beer on the wall...

87 bottles of beer on the wall,
87 bottle of beer,
take one down, pass it around
88 bottles of beer on the wall...

88 bottles of beer on the wall,
88 bottle of beer,
take one down, pass it around
89 bottles of beer on the wall...

89 bottles of beer on the wall,
89 bottle of beer,
take one down, pass it around
90 bottles of beer on the wall...
[...]

Rodney Dill said...

"No Michelle, You don't get your own RV... That scratch off contest at the Denny's said 'WIN A BAGEL.'"

Rodney Dill said...

Cue the theme from "Jaws"

Rodney Dill said...

As the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile is named after a "dog" Obama chose to name his tour bus after his dog, Bo Obama, yielding the 'BOOBamobile.'

mpur said...

Now we know why Biden was sent to China. Can you imagine being stuck on a bus for 3 days with him?

Adriane said...

♬ Another one rides the bus ... hey, hey ... Another one rides the bus !!! ♬

Anonymous said...

Biden's right. Psychotic... but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons, but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part!

Biden: We're just the guys to do it. How do you spell "Eat Me"?


........arf


...............arf

Kaptain Krude said...

"Hellooooo? Hellooooooo? Is anybody out here? Hellooooooo?" The Obama campaign couldn't find anybody to campaign to, for some reason.

Kaptain Krude said...

"The wheels, uh, on the bus, uh, go - um - um - um, they go round and uh, round. Obviously, it is the previous administration's -um fault."

Rodney Dill said...

"If we spend less than $50,000,000 an hour, this bus will explode."
OK, its a Speed reference, but it still makes be think -- 'MacGruber, we only have 20 seconds.'