David Attenborough whispers: As an example of overadaptation, the Squirrel Mime of Central Park has learned that if he pretends to be trapped in a box, people will toss him peanuts.
Liars Poker: I swear on my mother's carcass in the street, once I was down in Georgia and caught a peanut this big!
Alvin's impression of Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" delighted the inhabitants of Animal Farm.
Stewart used to torment the squirrels by leaving a big bowl of peanuts on his dining room table. Then, they found the key hidden under the mat.
Okay, sure, I've pilfered peanuts and seeds from the bird feeder... but my fellow Americans, I am NOT a crook!
Best of USMC2841
Stupid TSA patdowns. When's the last time a squirrel blew anything up?
Best of Double the U
"STOP! In the name of love!"
YOU. SHALL. NOT. PASS.
Best of Dr. Doom
"Wait monors", cried the squirrel passionately, "Don't you realize what's going to happen to Dawn's head?"
Best of metalgarth
...and the last thing our squirrel friend ever saw was a big net with a McPatterson's logo on it.
Best of Jack Reacher
Confident! Dry! And furry!
Best of jj
BUT I DON'T WANT A COLONOSCOPY, I'm a squirrel!!!! Damn obamacare
Best of Mr. Right
"I'm MAD as HELL, and I'm NOT going to TAKE this anymore!!!"
Best of blue
Bullwinkle!!! Don't leave me here!!!
Best of GregMan
Assistant to the Regional Threadwinner mpur
All that's missing is a boom box and a Peter Gabriel tune.
Best of Adriane
'Powers of Science,' cried Dr.Frank N. Squirrel, 'give my creature Life!'
Best of Submariner
No! Mr. Gere, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Best of Dactyl
Best of mega
"I saw you guys had a book called 'To Serve Roadkill', so I came to your planet. What's for dinner?"
Best of Matt the K
Robbie the Squirrel IS Willem Dafoe IN "Dr. Doolittle IV: Back In The Nam".
Best of dub
Best of racerboy
Best of dadoctah
(Oh, what the hell....)