1. "Comrade Obama is going to raise taxes on capitalists no matter how many jobs it kills. I am so proud of that boy."
2."Here it is: 'Leo, today is a good day to lean forward with Revolutionary fervor.' Hell, it always says that."
3. "Well, we outlasted Spitzer on CNN. That's something, I guess."
4. "Primary colors are out this season? Well, f-ck your corpse, Mr. Blackwell!"
5. "The Thursday Babes in Granma are about what you would expect."
Best of Jack Reacher
"Judging by his poll numbers, if I can hang on another eighteen months I'll outlast another U.S. president."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The Onion isn't a real newspaper?? The hell you say!
Best of Matt the K
Hmmm...just as I suspected...Family Circus sucks in Spanish too.
Best of dadoctah
Cheech and Chong have really let themselves go.
Best of mpur
What? Obama is giving guns to Mexico and all I got was a lousy get well card?
Best of jimmy
"I don't get it either, Fidel. They're the very model of a modern fascist, authoritarian regime, but every time I read their bits in the paper, their laborers are miserable; their leaders are power-obsessed morons; and they fail at everything they try to produce. This Dilbert person and his comrades really need to be sent to the re-education camps.
Best of Submariner
Orienteering Merit Badge: Epic Fail
Best of Rodney Dill
Best.DWTS.Couple.Ever
Best of JohnS1959
"No, no", you can't reach true crackpot dictator status until an incompetent American President orders a botched assassination attempt on you", stated Fidel emphatically, "Unfortunately, this incompetent American President adores you"...
Best of Dr. Doom
"See this", mentored Fidel, "This is the Spanish Language New York Times Op Ed section - I get some of my best stuff from here"
27 comments:
All the news that the state sees fit to let us print.
"The Little League game is in an hour. Let us give Senor Herbert a call."
"Judging by his poll numbers, if I can hang on another eighteen months I'll outlast another U.S. president."
"Wait a minute, this is saying the Cincy Reds are suing ME?!!!"
I didn't get a harrumph out of this writer.
"Quick, check out the babe on page 3"!
Vinneh
The Onion isn't a real newspaper?? The hell you say!
-OR-
Bah! another f'ing lousy horoscope prediction. It's a sad day when a state-run newspaper can't find a happy psychic. What's Murdock's secret?
-OR-
Hugo, comrade, please be honest... why has Khrushchev stopped returning my calls?
What's black & white, and red all over?
Hmmm...just as I suspected...Family Circle sucks in Spanish too.
See, I told you-- you missed the flag jacket sale by one day!!!
Hey look!! The new '54 Buicks are in at Crazy Manuel's!!!
Cheech and Chong have really let themselves go.
What? Obama is giving guns to Mexico and all I got was a lousy get well card?
See I told you I could solve the Jumble® puzzle.
"Hey! Starter jackets are on sale!
Ya know, you'd have to visit Buckingham Palace twice to see as many old queens as pictured here ...
"..and it says that 4 pumps make a load - maybe V the K should change teh stinger, it's getting old.."
See, it's right here on Pablo's List...used, cancerous prostrate for sale...
"C is for Commie, that's good enough for me,
C is for Commie, that's good enough for me,
C is for Commie, that's good enough for meeeee, oh
Commie commie commie starts with C!"
The Cookie Monster's smash hit 1972 single apparently didn't translate quite right in some places.
"I don't get it either, Fidel. They're the very model of a modern fascist, authoritarian regime, but every time I read their bits in the paper, their laborers are miserable; their leaders are power-obsessed morons; and they fail at everything they try to produce.
This Dilbert person and his comrades really need to be sent to the re-education camps.
WaPo, HuffPo all the same, Hugo...
Orienteering Merit Badge: Epic Fail
You are 3 points ahead in the Miami Mayoral race polls, comrade Fidel.
Castro and Chavez reprise the opening to Guys and Dolls at the Raul Castro Dinner Theatre.
"I got the horse right here
The name is Paul Revere
And here's a guy that says that the weather's clear
Can do, can do, this guy says the horse can do
If he says the horse can do, can do, can do.
Vinneh
Best.DWTS.Couple.Ever
"No, no", you can't reach true crackpot dictator status until an incompetent American President orders a botched assassination attempt on you", stated Fidel emphatically, "Unfortunately, this incompetent American President adores you"...
"See this", mentored Fidel, "This is the Spanish Language New York Times Op Ed section - I get some of my best stuff from here"
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