1. "Comrade Obama is going to raise taxes on capitalists no matter how many jobs it kills. I am so proud of that boy."
2."Here it is: 'Leo, today is a good day to lean forward with Revolutionary fervor.' Hell, it always says that."
3. "Well, we outlasted Spitzer on CNN. That's something, I guess."
4. "Primary colors are out this season? Well, f-ck your corpse, Mr. Blackwell!"
5. "The Thursday Babes in Granma are about what you would expect."
Best of Jack Reacher
"Judging by his poll numbers, if I can hang on another eighteen months I'll outlast another U.S. president."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The Onion isn't a real newspaper?? The hell you say!
Best of Matt the K
Hmmm...just as I suspected...Family Circus sucks in Spanish too.
Best of dadoctah
Cheech and Chong have really let themselves go.
Best of mpur
What? Obama is giving guns to Mexico and all I got was a lousy get well card?
Best of jimmy
"I don't get it either, Fidel. They're the very model of a modern fascist, authoritarian regime, but every time I read their bits in the paper, their laborers are miserable; their leaders are power-obsessed morons; and they fail at everything they try to produce. This Dilbert person and his comrades really need to be sent to the re-education camps.
Best of Submariner
Orienteering Merit Badge: Epic Fail
Best of Rodney Dill
Best of JohnS1959
"No, no", you can't reach true crackpot dictator status until an incompetent American President orders a botched assassination attempt on you", stated Fidel emphatically, "Unfortunately, this incompetent American President adores you"...
Best of Dr. Doom
"See this", mentored Fidel, "This is the Spanish Language New York Times Op Ed section - I get some of my best stuff from here"