Monday, July 11, 2011

Sucking Up or Just Sucking



1. Bubba: "Whooo-EEEE. Boy, you are funny! Now, bring me some coffee."

2. We've secretly replaced the Teleprompter script for Obama's debt limit speech with the transcript of Anthony Weiner sexting a comely coed. Let's see if anyone notices.

3. That line about creating two million jobs always kills.

4. As his idiot successor prattled on about corporate jets, the former president mentally amused himself by seeing how many hidden words he could find in "Clinton Global Initiative:" Such as, "tit" "labia" "vagina" "balling" ... and so forth

5. "Surprise, Barry! That ain't Monica under the podium, it's Chris Matthews!"

Best of blue
"Barry! Thanks! Whew! My Knees are still wobbly!"

Best of sonicfrog
Clinton: "Surprise, Barry! That ain't Monica under the podium, it's Chris Matthews!"
Obama: "I know".....

Best of GregMan
The impeached, perverted, corrupt, and disgraced ex-President laughed at the thought that Comrade President Soetero made even him look good by comparison.

Best of GregMan
"God d@mn Amerikkka! Man, that is so funny!"

Best of mpur
Bill always gets a kick out of Blackface Minstrel shows.

Best of Rodney Dill
Bill: "De camptown ladies sing this song... do da... do da."

Best of Vinneh
"And, er, when Bill has a global intitiative. That means the girl is supposed to "go around the world" on him. Right Bill"?

Best of Dr. Doom
Mr. Obama immediately regretted trading 'Yo Wife So Fat' jokes with Bill Clinton at the press conference...

Best of Spineless Vertebra
Obama: "Now just because I like fish sticks doesn't make me a gay fish!"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
The freak accident lodged the TOTUS pole deep within the former president's torso. He would never be able to reveal his knowledge of Barry's "666" birthmark.
\
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Fine print at bottom of the Clinton Global Initiative: Where da white women at?

Best of Jack Reacher
"Let's see who's come closest to the actual retail price of this year's deficit without going over. Mr. Clinton, you've bid 1.65 billion dollars..."

Best of Steve O
Everybody else waits for Barry to get the joke except Bill.

34 comments:

blue said...

"Barry! Thanks! Whew! My Knees are still wobbly!"

sonicfrog said...

Clinton: "Surprise, Barry! That ain't Monica under the podium, it's Chris Matthews!"

Obama: "I know".....

Ver Word: arcoc

GregMan said...

The impeached, perverted, corrupt, and disgraced ex-President laughed at the thought that Comrade President Soetero made even him look good by comparison.

GregMan said...

"God d@mn Amerikkka! Man, that is so funny!"

JohnS1959 said...

"So the tax on corporate jets will be paid twice by the taxpayers since the entire Democratic Caucus flies everywhere on corporate jets", laughed Bill, "Oh that is rich Barry, absolutely RICH"

mpur said...

Bill always gets a kick out of Blackface Minstrel shows.

Rodney Dill said...

Bill: "De camptown ladies sing this song... do da... do da."

Anonymous said...

It's time to play Family Feud.

Vinneh

Anonymous said...

"And, er, when Bill has a global intitiative. That means the girl is supposed to "go around the world" on him. Right Bill"?

Vinneh

Dr. Doom said...

Mr. Obama immediately regretted trading 'Yo Wife So Fat' jokes with Bill Clinton at the press conference...

Submariner said...

"Lawdy! I don't know nuthin' 'bout birthin' no babies, Missy Scarlet!"

Barry fails to see humor in Bill's entry in the famous movie lines contest.

Submariner said...

...and then they performed "The Kiss" to take Amerikkka's mind off what they had done to the economy.

Submariner said...

"Have a cigar, Barry?"

Bill always cracks himself up.

Spineless Vertebra said...

Obama: "Now just because I like fish sticks doesn't make me a gay fish!"

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

Bill always get a laugh when he brides the teleprompter operator.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Bill readies the Emperor's new cloak.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Clinton Global Initiative = C.G.I. = How they can manipulate footage to make Bary "funny".

Son Of The Godfather said...

The freak accident lodged the TOTUS pole deep within the former president's torso. He would never be able to reveal his knowledge of Barry's "666" birthmark.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"HA HA HA HA HA! That's a good thing ya done, Barry, a real good thing. Now wish it into the cornfield, okay? HA HA HA! What a great one!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"The Republicans drove the car into a ditch. We've pulled that car out of the ditch, loaded it with weapons, drove it across the border, and sold it to drug cartels. THAT is how you make money in a sagging economy."

Kaptain Krude said...

"Will the circle...[clap clap]
be unbroken [clap clap]
by and by, lord [clap clap]
by and by..."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Okay, okay, I lied... I really inhaled. Nooooo, I didn't lie, I swallowed! Wait, is that right? Oh, who cares. har har har

-OR-

Fine print at bottom of the Clinton Global Initiative: Where da white women at?

-OR-

CGI must be a casting call for Dicken's Christmas Carol: Clinton and Obamalama are the ghosts of losers past and present. The future? Three-way tie between Palin, Bachmann and Gingrich.

Rodney Dill said...

Just one Jimmy Carter short of the Three Stooges.

Rodney Dill said...

Obama: "Dance monkey boy, dance."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Teleprompter Hack #38
blah bleedle blah... and the US Census has concluded that there are no honorable men employed in politics ...yada yada blah

-OR-

Billy has his little "global" initiative? Fine, I'm launching a more pretentious feel good effort - BO's Intergalactic Crusade - by redirecting all NASA funds into 1000 rockets filled with qurans and marxist propaganda to spread the word across the cosmos. Resistance is futile, long live Emperor Barack!

-OR-

Those odd faces on 'Chel and I? Caused by the hang time on Bill's flatulence. I heard Bush had to air out the Oval Office for a month, and Hillary still panics anytime anyone farts in a cabinet meeting.

Rodney Dill said...

"There can be only one."

Rodney Dill said...

"Go eat your peas."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Every time Clinton guffaws,
Ed McMahon spins in his grave.
RIP Ed & Johnny

WordVerify: ghljkzxjw - is a monkey working the challenge desk, today? Wouldn't you like to see that hacked onto Obamalama's teleprompter? "My fellow ghljkzxjw"

Submariner said...

Bill provides the collective progressive response to the Casey Anthony verdict - long live late, Late, LATE term abortion.
The One simply smiles at enactment of his favored policy.

Jack Reacher said...

"Let's see who's come closest to the actual retail price of this year's deficit without going over. Mr. Clinton, you've bid 1.65 billion dollars..."

satted said...

And fellow Americans, there are people who really believe I was born in the United States!

satted said...

Obama; "Everything my administration has done is the benifit of the American people"

Steve O said...

Everybody else waits for Barry to get the joke except Bill.

jimmy said...

"Michelle would have been here tonight, but, um, she's at KFC. Tuesday is the, uh Hillary Clinton Meal Deal--you know, two large thighs, two small breasts, and two left wings. Best not to get between my girl and her KFC..."