Friday, July 08, 2011

The One Woman Population Explosion

blue, possibly.


1. Nine rolls of duct tape later, Octomom and Casy Anthony were ready to par-tay.

2. "Prepare for ramming speed!"

3. "There's the ACORN Office! Eight more votes for Hope and Change II, comin' right up."

4. Nice biceps. Those M'Chel Ob'Ama B'athleth Workout videos must have really paid off.

5. "This intersection looks busy enough. Okay, Casy, you give 'em a big push, and I'll rehearse my frantic 9-1-1 call."

Best of mpur
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7....oh crap! We lost one!
Oh, well.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
It's actually been quite profitable. I call a state's welfare department, ask about their policies and they offer to PAY me NOT to relocate there!

Best of Vinneh
Looks like exhibits A thru N arrive in court for the Schwartzenegger-Scheiver divorce.

Best of Adriane
Here's the story,
A lady on welfare,
Who already had 6 kids of her own,
But despite that,
or maybe 'cause of it,
Still felt so all alone ...

So the one day, that this lady met a doctor,
Who disgraced his Oath in more ways than can count,
Did some funny things with a turkey baster,
And 8 more kids she did pop out!!!

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Excuse me, I'm looking for a Mr. Ray Bradbury, do you know where he is? Yoo hoo, Ray! I've got 8, er, 7 little presents for you! Yoo hoo, Ray Bradbury! Come out, come out, wherever you are..."
Ray's night terrors suddenly and with no apparent explanation kicked into overdrive.

Best of dadoctah
Awkward first-date smalltalk: "So, Nadya, do you have any hobbies?"

Threadwinner: Son Of The Godfather
Yes, it's difficult to push a stroller while holding your uterus in.

Best of jj
Another awkward first date small talk, "So, do you like kids?"

Best of Dactyl
Special delivery for Ms. Jolie...

Best of Submariner
"...Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated"

Best of Rodney Dill
Jees, it's a vagina, not a clown car

Best of Rodney Dill
"Did you just hear a foghorn?"
"That's my queef now."

26 comments:

mpur said...

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7....oh crap! We lost one!

Oh, well.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Okay, I'll concede that anchor babies may not be the entire problem.

-OR-

You know that saying about passing a watermelon? Well, I felt like a catapult at a giant pumpkin toss.

-OR-

Nope, it's still so loose you could drive a Mac truck through it.

-OR-

It's actually been quite profitable. I call a state's welfare department, ask about their policies and they offer to PAY me NOT to relocate there!

Anonymous said...

Looks like exhibits A thru N arrive in court for the Schwartzenegger-Scheiver divorce.

Vinneh

Adriane said...

Here's the story,
A lady on welfare,
Who already had 6 kids of her own,
But despite that,
or maybe 'cause of it,
Still felt so all alone ...

So the one day, that this lady met a doctor,
Who disgraced his Oath in more ways than can count,
Did some funny things with a turkey baster,
And 8 more kids she did pop out!!!

Kaptain Krude said...

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a Mr. Ray Bradbury, do you know where he is? Yoo hoo, Ray! I've got 8, er, 7 little presents for you! Yoo hoo, Ray Bradbury! Come out, come out, wherever you are..."

Ray's night terrors suddenly and with no apparent explanation kicked into overdrive.

Kaptain Krude said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Octo-Mom: "Look queefia, an avaliable man!"

Oiao

Double the U said...

WAIT! Isn't there suppose to be EIGHT of them *OCTO*MOM?

Rodney Dill said...

Jees, it's a vagina, not a clown car.

racerboy said...

Casey: "One down, seven to go..."

dadoctah said...

Awkward first-date smalltalk: "So, Nadya, do you have any hobbies?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"...well, with six you get eggroll, but with eight, they throw in the complimentary mints as well."

Rodney Dill said...

Jees, it's a vagina, not a clown car. <--- teh awesome

Son Of The Godfather said...

Yes, it's difficult to push a stroller while holding your uterus in.

jj said...

Another awkward first date small talk, "So, do you like kids?"

jj said...

Octo-Mom moves to Arkansas...Damnit..Did Billy-Bob hook the house up to the pick-up again?

Dactyl said...

Special delivery for Ms. Jolie...

dadoctah said...

Answering the oft-asked question: "You and what army?"

Submariner said...

Rodney Dill said...
Jees, it's a vagina, not a clown car.


Nomination for "Best Ofs, 2011"

Submariner said...

In Kaiser Permanete, nobody can hear you scream...

Submariner said...

"...Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated"

Rodney Dill said...

Know Blight and the Eight Dwarfs

Rodney Dill said...

...and June Cleaver thought she was being a little hard on The Beav.

Rodney Dill said...

...If Mel Gibson could make this one talk, it'd speak with a lisp.

Rodney Dill said...

"Did you just hear a foghorn?"
"That's my queef now."

Rodney Dill said...

Octomom by day, Platypus Girl by night.

Rodney Dill said...

Thanks SOTG and Submariner