Friday, July 15, 2011

The Cow Jumped Over What Now?


1.The Bear Cavalry was unimpressed.

2. NASA has a new approach to exploration of the moon, in light of budget cuts.

3. Piper Palin's ability to control animal minds was even more amazing than her pyrokinesis.

4. Caitlin found herself in an 'awkward situation' and just didn't feel like dealing with the dykes at Planned Parenthood.

5. Teaching a cow to show-jump, hard. Coming up with five captions about a show-jumping cow... probably not as hard, but dang it, it took long enough.

Best of dadoctah
Beef: it's what's for recess.

Best of JohnS1959
Sally, "The Wrangler", Smith counteracts recent PETA protests by adding flair and creativity to Bossy's trip to the slaughterhouse...

Best of dadoctah
Coming to theatres this fall: "Free Bossy".

Best of prince of leaves
In Alternate Universe #9934-QX-17, the Mongol Hordes brought their superior saddle and stirrup technology to Europe aboard a very different animal, with mild but strange historical ramifications.

Best of Censors Hip
Carrie's plan to beat Carmageddon seemed a bit overblown.

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
"Jump, Bessie, Jump!!! Batman and Robin need us!!!'

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Blue, the German Cavalry (Cowvalry?) unit is ready to invade Pearl Harbor!

Best of Rodney Dill
Clara Peller's life as a young girl first revealed.

Best of metalgarth
Where fast food burgers come from! (actually I'm lying. That would be a picture of a dead raccoon, if you like McPatterson's)

26 comments:

dadoctah said...

Beef: it's what's for recess.

Submariner said...

When Bessie don't jump high enough it's an udder catastrophe.

Submariner said...

I, for one, welcome our new bovine overlords...

Submariner said...

I was wonderin' what Roseanne was gonna do on her new farm show...

Submariner said...

It's really hot out there. She better watch it or she might get Gore'd.

JohnS1959 said...

Sally, "The Wrangler", Smith counteracts recent PETA protests by adding flair and creativity to Bossy's trip to the slaughterhouse...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Leave it to the ACLU to file a discrimination lawsuit against Churchill Downs for refusing to permit a cow in equestrian steeplechase competitions.

-OR-

Thanks to the ACLU's tireless efforts, the Black Beauty remake satisfied the overly sensitive anti-racial slur crowd but was a bomb at the box office.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

PETA member Elsie Beaugarther frees another potential "victim" from a McDonald's holding pen.

-OR-

The nice thing about these specially-trained rodeo cows is how, when they break a leg and have to be put down, the owners can host a great barbecue.

WordVerify: humbers - numbers Stephen Hawking considered really boring

blue said...

after Obama started to send out horse steaks instead of social security checks, the Olympic equestrian event made do

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The secret to Millicent's success in convincing her cow to jump fences turned out to be simple little "pep talks" that included subtle references to hamburger, leather belts and matador test dummies.

dadoctah said...

Coming to theatres this fall: "Free Bossy".

prince of leaves said...

If you think this is impressive, you should see the buffalo Amanda's 4-H rival taught to jump through flaming hoops.

prince of leaves said...

In Alternate Universe #9934-QX-17, the Mongol Hordes brought their superior saddle and stirrup technology to Europe aboard a very different animal, with mild but strange historical ramifications.

Censors Hip said...

Carrie's plan to beat Carmageddon seemed a bit overblown.

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"Jump, Bessie, Jump!!! Batman and Robin need us!!!'

blue said...

I call photoshop shenanigans on this one

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Blue, the German Cavalry (Cowvalry?) unit is ready to invade Pearl Harbor!

Spin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spin said...

Is that Megan Fox or Rosie Huntington-Whiteley riding Shia LaBeouf?

Dr. Doom said...

If Legolas went to Pamplona...

Rodney Dill said...

Clara Peller's life as a young girl first revealed.

dadoctah said...

From Europe, the people who brought you Mad Cow Disease, comes: Cow Road Rage!

Anonymous said...

When cowboys become snobs.

Vinneh

Dr. Doom said...

Mongo's little sister, went on to win the Rock Ridge Rodeo several years running...

vw: deprav - (n) a colloquial expression for a member of the New York Congressional Delegation

metalgarth said...

I would say that Wii games are getting too weird, but there is Wii game exactly like this!

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wii_Play)

metalgarth said...

Where fast food burgers come from! (actually I'm lying. That would be a picture of a dead raccoon, if you like McPatterson's)