Saturday, July 30, 2011
Aw, C'mon Mom!
1. "Aw, c'mon mom. Why can't I watch them blow up the dead whale with the other kids?"
2. "Mom, get lost! I'm just one hot chick away from appearing on the Hot Chicks with Douchebags blog."
3. "Forget it, mom. I've made up my mind. I'm having the sex change, no matter how imperfect the results are." A pivotal event in the life of young Rubin Maddow.
4. "Geez, mom. I have my perfect all black Goth beach ensemble, and you have to ruin it with this stupid white hat. I hate you, you bitch!"
5. "Mom, I appreciate your effort to be supportive, but if you insist on documenting every minute of my trip to Fire Island, I'm never gonna get laid."
6. Tom Cruz confronts the papparazzi.
7. "Why am I upset? Hurley ate all my food, Sawyer gave me the nickname 'Shimp-dick,' and that creepy Richard guy keeps asking me to join 'the others' in some creepy ageless Neverland deal. I *hate* this stupid island!"
8. Ang Lee's remake of Gilligan's Island was called off do to creative differences; specifically, Justin "Gilligan" Bieber's refusal to do love scenes with Brian "The Skipper" Dennehy.
Best of blue
"But Mom!!! Even Captain America Wanks."
Best of Double the U
Quick, get the picture of the jellyfish in my mouth!
Best of GregMan
"Aw, c'mon mom, you know damn well you don't have this outfit!"
Best of Submariner
Would you put the camera down, fer Gaia's sake? This erection's lasted over four hours already!
Best of Jack Reacher
"We elected Obama, and the oceans did not begin to recede! I'm beginning to think it was all a bunch of hooey."
Best of metalgarth
Look just because your my guidance counselor and you took me to Pizza Hut doesn't mean that I have to swim naked for you!
Best of mega
"Moooooooom dad's drifting away on a log. call for help!!!!!"
"OK, ok, I just gotta finish this round of Angry Birds and I'm on it."