Friday, June 10, 2011

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz


1. "And until, um, the one who, um, dropped the deuce in the urinal, um, holds his balls in shame, nobody is, um, leaving here."

2. Goofus is proud of destroying the American Economy, The Other Goofus holds his balls in shame.

3. Biden retreats to his happy place, which is pretty much anywhere he doesn't have to hold his balls in shame while Affirmative Action's Poster Child reads his lines off a Teleprompter.

4. While listening to Goofus brag about his economic policies, Biden checks on the progress of his Enzyte supplements and concludes neither is working as advertised.

5. As Bammy rambles on and on, Biden realizes the tingle down his leg is just incontinence.

Best of blue
"Dear Lord, how do I get him to dump me from the 2012 ticket without looking like a bigger jackass?'

Best of Robert
Biden thought bubbles: "...my balogna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R; ...my balogna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R' ...so...tired...Just 18 more months... I hope these aren't the trousers with the hole in the seat - I hear some snickering back there. Or is it snoring?

Best of Spin
"I will not rest until that last remaining state has filed for bankruptcy.

Best of Dr. Doom
Realizing his administration had gone to the 'Blame Bush' well too often, the President changes tactics and begins his 'Blame Biden' campaign...

Best of Jack Reacher
"The entire national debt could be represented by a stack of bills this thick. That's assuming, of course, that they're twenty-billion dollar bills."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
In closing, I just want to say... whoever stole my stash of weed from the Air Force One lounge had better hang his head and pray I don't find him, cause I'm gonna hurt him baaaad.

Best of Jay Guevara
Thought bubble: "Dear God, why did You see fit to make this miserable asshole President? Why??"

21 comments:

blue said...

"Dear Lord, how do I get him to dump me from the 2012 ticket without looking like a bigger jackass?'

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"..and to solve the homeless problem, we are teaching street people to sleep standing up, that way they fit in with the crowd downtown, just like Joe does."

dadoctah said...

"...and when I snap my fingers, you will awaken and remember nothing, until you hear a bell ring, at which point you will believe you are Sarah Palin in the Miss Wasilla pageant."

Submariner said...

Yes, uh, indeed. Joe is, um, like that, fully, um, erect!

Submariner said...

Good thing M'Chel always carries a tube of Gorilla Glue to put the seal back on the podium...
What's that? not Gorilla G... Afro Sheen? meh, whatever.

Submariner said...

...and Mr. Soros told me to invite all of you to the tax raising on Saturday!

Submariner said...

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a wookie woman your wife...

Submariner said...

Teh Secretary of State? Hung like that!

Robert said...

Biden thought bubbles:

...my balogna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R; ...my balogna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R'

...so...tired...

Just 18 more months.

I hope these aren't the trousers with the hole in the seat - I hear some snickering back there. Or is it snoring?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Biden Thawtbubble: squeals like a little girl Jeez, there goes that rat again! It's stalking him.

-OR-

Hacked Teleprompter and Obamalama keeps reading... "and furthermore, despite my Cabinet's total collusion with banks, insurance companies, big pharma, NSA, et al, let me assure you that if the public gives Anthony Weiner a pass, the electorate will surely be turned on by my perverse sextings of hope and change again! Thank You!!"

Spin said...

"I will not rest until that last remaining state has filed for bankruptcy.

Dr. Doom said...

Realizing his administration had gone to the 'Blame Bush' well too often, the President changes tactics and begins his 'Blame Biden' campaign...

Jack Reacher said...

"I've turned a recession into a depression, tried to nationalize health care, bailed out my big-finance friends, and committed our forces to exercises in Libya and Yemen. But, make no mistake, my Blackberry contains no penis pictures. Not one."

Jack Reacher said...

"The entire national debt could be represented by a stack of bills this thick. That's assuming, of course, that they're twenty-billion dollar bills."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Obamalama: Everyone here knows what important event July 4th commemorates, right?
Biden Thawtbubble: please don't call on me, please don't call on me, please don't call on me, please don't call on me

-OR-

In closing, I just want to say... whoever stole my stash of weed from the Air Force One lounge had better hang his head and pray I don't find him, cause I'm gonna hurt him baaaad.

-OR-

I admit that some of my choices for decisionmaking positions have really sucked. I'm not naming names, but they know who they are.

WordVerify: commi - Once again, the word challenge hits it out of the park!

dadoctah said...

♪♫"Me...and...my...sha - dow...."♫♪

jj said...

obama, "C'mon Joe, stand up for the crowd...oh God bless you"...

GregMan said...

Biden thuhght bubble: "I can't believe he just told everyone that Frank Marshall Davis was twice as big as I am."

JohnS1959 said...

Mr. Bob Jones, the sign language interpreter for the President's speech, allowed his personal integrity to interfere with the literal translation of, 'My Administration will continue to work diligently to recover the economy and create jobs in Amerikkka'.

Jay Guevara said...

Thought bubble: "Dear God, why did You see fit to make this miserable asshole President? Why??"

FormerlyKnowasOIAO said...

"Pull, ah, ma finger, and, um, watch Joe, ah, wake up!"

or...

"You know, ah, let me be clear, um, that if Joe, um, Joe Biden had a little black kid, ah, on his back, um, he'd be awake."