Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Wednesday Bait for the Tools Who Bitch When I Make Fun of the Wookie*


* YKWYA


1. "Aunt Zeituni! What are you still doing here?"

2. "Give me lots of greasy fries because I'm a hypocritical shrew with a gigantic butt and my butt stinks and and I like to smell my own butt."

3. "Oh, nertz! I forgot to bring my eatin' shovel!"

4. "P'Tagh! This gagh is barely moving! I should tear out your heart for this!"

Best of blue
"This floor better be clean enough for me to eat off of...."

Best of HLam
"Ok, let me say it real slow for you this time. E-X-T-R-A M-A-Y-O-N-A-I-S-S-E."

Best of Jack Reacher
"Lemme have four pumps of the barbecue sauce; I feel like a load."

Best of metalgarth
Screw you bitch, I can get that at McPatterson's for $2.99

Best of mpur
Whaddya mean it's "all you can eat, not all you can carry"?

Best of arf
Fifteen Schnitzengruben might be Cleavon Little's limit, but that's where I start.

Threadwinner: Son Of The Godfather
Cool, someone uploaded another McDonald's fight video!

Best of Steve O
Can I get a big long piece of meat that hooks downward? I can't get that at home.

Best of Submariner
I don't care; just slop a little of whatever that crap is on a plate. I'm dumping it in the nearest trash can after the photo op showing we're "the same as you little people" any ways...

Best of Vinneh
"No soup for you! Next"!

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
"..and get me one of those Redneck Bride kegs, to go!'



5. "Don't you hold out your fried from me you chalk... chocolate... faced whore!"

48 comments:

any mouse said...

"Is that an "Anthony" Weiner in the tray?"

blue said...

"But Miz Omama, dis here tray of fries supposed to feed the whole village, not just you!"

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"OK Missy, you be in trouble now, letting a white girl in here and all..."

blue said...

"This floor better be clean enough for me to eat off of...."

HLam said...

"Ok, let me say it real slow for you this time. E-X-T-R-A   M-A-Y-O-N-A-I-S-S-E."

Jack Reacher said...

"One of everything, and give the bill to the slope-forehead types behind me."

Jack Reacher said...

"Lemme have four pumps of the barbecue sauce; I feel like a load."

Tim said...

lol Ikwym

doe

metalgarth said...

OCRA: How much for a rib?

(obscure Chris Rock alert)

metalgarth said...

Screw you bitch, I can get that at McPatterson's for $2.99

Dr. Doom said...

"Oh heavens no - we are just ordering for the native body guards", replied the First Lady indignantly, "We will be dining on the finest cuts endangered leopard slow roasted over bundles of smoldering Franklins at Chez Taxpayer"...

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"..and a side of beef to go, please."

Censors Hip said...

"..and if you are extra generous with my portions, your tip will be a green card!"

jj said...

Where da white men at?

Matt the K said...

F*ck da cup, pour it my hand for a dime!

*bonus Chris Rock ORA

Mr. Hankey said...

Dag-nabbit children! How come every time you come in here you've got to be asking me questions I shouldn't be answering? "Chef, what's a clitoris? What's a lesbian, Chef? How come they call it a rim job Chef?". For once, can't you kids come in here and say "Hey Chef, nice day isn't it"?

mpur said...

Whaddya mean it's "all you can eat, not all you can carry"?

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

(Whispering): "Just so you know, I'm not going to eat this crap you feed to the common proles, so you can spit in it if it makes you feel better."

Anonymous said...

Fifteen Schnitzengruben might be Cleavon Little's limit, but that's where I start.

.................arf

Carpe Phlogiston said...

A shiver runs up her spine as she realizes... "OMG, that's me in 2 years!"

-OR-

So, are you going to load up my tray with ALL the sausages and buritos or am I going to make you drop and give me 20 on that nice shiny floor? I can do it, you know. Ask those people at Table 6.

-OR-

whispering to Aunt Jemimah- Listen, I'm trying to set a good example of portion control for the kid here, so will you be a dear and put all those sausages in a doggie bag? I'll have one of my staff drop by in a minute to pick it up.

-OR-

Thawtbubble: Oh how I love saying, "Just put it on the taxpayers' tab."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Cool, someone uploaded another McDonald's fight video!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Lady in back: "Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present for your intellectual and philosophical pleasure, the Creature!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"So, Mizz First Lady, where exactly does your deep fried human skull request fit in that new food group plate of yours?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Make all the squishy fart noises with your hands that you want, you ain't gettin' a fourth helpin'!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Greasy Gus's" considers every visit by M'Chel a stimulus package.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Lady in back: "Stand back everybody. Last time we ran out of bacon, she went all Tasmanian Devil on us..."

Steve O said...

Can I get a big long piece of meat that hooks downward? I can't get that at home.

Submariner said...

Dems looks suspishushly like my yams... where'd ya git 'em?




Then Dawn's blah blah blah

Submariner said...

What exactly do you mean when you say "No egg white omelettes with goat cheese and no arugula?"

Submariner said...

I don't care; just slop a little of whatever that crap is on a plate. I'm dumping it in the nearest trash can after the photo op showing we're "the same as you little people" any ways...

Submariner said...

I.Said.A.SIDE.Of.Hereford.
Don't.Make.Me.Come.Back.There.

Anonymous said...

"I need these for a side dish. We are being served burnt offerings by deluded fifty-twoers."

Anonymous said...

In a hushed tone Michelle demanded, "Ghetto-size it."

Vinneh

Anonymous said...

"No soup for you! Next"!

Vinneh

Matt the K said...

What do you mean 17 Schnitzengruben's my limit???

Anonymous said...

Your mother has a smooth forehead.


..........arf

Submariner said...

4, no, make that 6; 6 rhinocerous pen!s' And don't be giving me no prepubescent ones, either. And the girl? She'll have a plain bagel.

MissC said...

M'Chelle is being indoctrinated into the gag'h locavore movement. Going off-planet was too expensive.

Submariner said...

MissC said...
Going off-planet was too expensive.



Nah, she'd just saddle the taxpayer with the full cost 'cause
she feels she deserves the break.

Matt the K said...

Chalk faced Whore-Ida, in the background, beckons others to sample her fries.

Matt the K said...

"Did you just call us house ni**ers?"
...The living history plantation tour comes to a screeching halt.

dadoctah said...

"First Lady? Pull the other one. You don't look anything *like* Barbara Bush!"

Kaptain Krude said...

Standard Obama caption: "This is a real nice ________ you got here. It would be a shame if something were to happen to it, accidental-like."

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"..and get me one of those Redneck Bride kegs, to go!'

Kaptain Krude said...

"I said, you better hand over them sausages quick or I'll make your economy shovel-ready!"

MissC said...

M. Obama: Where is the First Ladies' Room?

Or:

"I need pork fat! Pork bellies, rinds, ham, and sausage. Quickly...Barry isn't looking!"

Censors Hip said...

"Damn, $2.50?? All I have is $2 - tax that white girl for the rest...."

Submariner said...

I don't care whats you slaps on de plate, jes make it 'bout 3000 calories and quick. Dawn's teachin' me a new shoppin' techique over at Ol' Navy at 9 an' we ain'ts had breakfast yet...