Friday, June 03, 2011

Pistol Packin' Momma

The Brigade


1. M'Chel's worst nightmare, a chalk-faced whore with a gun.

2. "One last time: Get. The. Fck. Off. My. Lawn."

3. "I said, Does Marcellus Wallace look like a bitch?" Betty White's Pulp Fiction audition kicked ass, but Tarantino still went with Samuel L. Jackson.

4. After seeing the latest Mediscare ad, Granny was determined not to let Paul Ryan dump her over a cliff.

5. "No, I think you *will* take me to Country Kitchen Buffet for the 3:00 Early Bird Special."

Best of dadoctah
We all knew it was just a matter of time before Betty White finally snapped and took hostages.

Best of Spineless Vertebra
Seventy years later, Mindy Macready was still pumping gangsters full of lead like a hobby.

Best of Silhouette
"Go on. Don't let the mess stop you. Read that part of the will again about if I'm the only surviving heir."

Best of dadoctah
I have good news and bad news. The good news is: we know where da white women at.

Best of Matt the K
Little known fact: Orville Redenbacher was a straight-up killa.

Best of Submariner
OK, Mr. Bronkowitz; I'm ready for my screen test.

Best of mpur
Ethyl prepares for her mandatory meeting with the Death Panel.

Best of Vinneh
"I need sex and I need it now. Now which one of you monors are going to oblige me"?


Best of Adriane
You're right, a lot of men my age are shooting blanks ... but do I look like a man to you, punk?

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Agnes nods at the body to her left... "Shirley didn't want to play Yahtzee. Anybody else wanna argue?"

Best of Dr. Doom
Granny getting ready for her walker-by at The Villages...

30 comments:

dadoctah said...

Fine, have it your way. You can see Russia from your house.

dadoctah said...

We all knew it was just a matter of time before Betty White finally snapped and took hostages.

dub said...

Every day is Thursday at the Shady Acres Nursing Home.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Meet Ethel "Ayn Rand" Cointoss, life long political centrist. Never got any representation but damn, she sure knows how to get respect.

blue said...

"......you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

Spineless Vertebra said...

Seventy years later, Mindy Macready was still pumping gangsters full of lead like a hobby.

Cricket said...

"oooh...I just love it when you do that!"

Hot Magazine's new centerfold.

Silhouette said...

"Go on. Don't let mess stop stop you. Read that part of the will again about if I'm the only surviving heir."

dadoctah said...

I have good news and bad news. The good news is: we know where da white women at.

Anonymous said...

An undecided voter expressing her opinion of her 2012 Presidential choices.

...............arf

Matt the K said...

Little known fact: Orville Redenbacher was a straight-up killa.

Submariner said...

Maude decided to take positive steps to ensure NOBODY messed with her Medicare Part D...

Submariner said...

OK, Mr. Bronkowitz; I'm ready for my screen test.

Submariner said...

No, sonny, I'm NOT licensed to carry. Do you have a problem with that?

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

Well I think that "Gun Control" is hitting what you're aiming >BLAM!<...
>tinkle<
>tinkle<

Sorry about your prized Elvis collectable plate, Harriet...

mpur said...

MediScare? I got your MediScare right here, buddy.

mpur said...

Ethyl prepares for her mandatory meeting with the Death Panel.

Anonymous said...

"I need sex and I need it now. Now which one of you boys are going to oblige me"?

Vinneh

Adriane said...

You're right, a lot of men my age are shooting blanks ... but do I look like a man to you, punk?

Submariner said...

Steven Hawking talked tough, but all you really had to do was leave him on your couch...

Submariner said...

From the pistols and the smile, I think
♪ Grandma done got even with the reindeer...♫

Submariner said...

"OK Toonces; your move..."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

"...to grandmother's house we go..."
I know you lot just visit to stay in the Will. This year, you're going to fix ME a holiday dinner. Stuff's in the kitchen. I'll be hungry after my nap. You got 3 hours. Don't make too much noise. Not so fast, Edward... come rub granny's feet.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Agnes nods at the body to her left... "Shirley didn't want to play Yahtzee. Anybody else wanna argue?"

-OR-

Light's Out?? It's 9 PM! How about I put your lights out, Nurse Appleby?

-OR-

Nurse's Thawtballoon: Where the hell does she keep getting guns?? I told Admin we needed metal detectors.

-OR-

Nobody buts Baby in Soylent Green.

Jack Reacher said...

"Mr. Gore, when you open that 'Lock Box,' I'm expecting to see a pile of cash inside. Don't disappoint me, Al."

dadoctah said...

"Help! I've fallen! And I can't reload!"

Dr. Doom said...

Meet the only seasoned citizen the AARP hasn't co-opted...

Dr. Doom said...

Granny getting ready for her walker-by at The Villages...

Submariner said...

Well I say I AM your prom date, SOTG...