Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Oh My Stars and Garters



1. "But Congressman Weiner, your press conference starts in five minutes! Breitbart can't stall them forever."

2. "That's very nice, but since Barney Frank no longer chairs the House Banking Committee, you'll have to apply for a mortgage the traditional way."

3. Coming this Fall, The All-New Love American Style, directed by Ang Lee.

4. "Justin Bieber had a Yard Sale."

5. Backstage at the Southern Baptist Family Values Summit.

Best of blue
Ray Bradbury Jr disappoints his dad's fans.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Western Union obviously got its wires crossed... the singing telegram meant for Bawney Fwank ended up in Hilary's office.

Best of dadoctah
It's official: Stan Lee has finally run out of ideas for new superheroes.

Best of Dr. Doom
The Safe Schools Czar makes a surprise visit to Principal Smith's office to review the state of corporal punishment at PS 135...

Best of MissC
Mitts with a bustier?????!!! Is he mad?

Best of champaignken
Saved by the Bell: the Transgender Years.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Please baby, just call me your chalk-faced whore one more time? Just for old-times sake?"

Best of prince of leaves
"Dr. Laura, I'm your biggest fan!"

Best of Submariner
Not that there's anything wrong with that...

28 comments:

blue said...

"Why Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?"

dadoctah said...

Tommy Lee Jones refused to have anything to do with the proposed continuation of the "Men In Black" series.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Looks like ABC's sick television show "Wife Swap" just jumped a whale shark.

-OR-

Lost episode of Bosom Buddies: Peter Scolari cures his erectile dysfunction by having a sex change operation and Tom Hanks bursts out of the closet.

-OR-

Dawn is shocked when she recognizes that outfit as having come from her closet. ATDHE

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

AoM is really pissed that AoD wears her undies.

blue said...

After school special: What's under the three pairs of jeans.

blue said...

Ray Bradbury Jr disappoints his dad's fans.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

One birthday gift wives hate worse than a toaster.

-OR-

Western Union obviously got its wires crossed... the singing telegram meant for Bawney Fwank ended up in Hilary's office.

dadoctah said...

It's official: Stan Lee has finally run out of ideas for new superheroes.

Dr. Doom said...

The Safe Schools Czar makes a surprise visit to Principal Smith's office to review the state of corporal punishment at PS 135...

jj said...

Rachael Maddow gets into Keith Olbermann's closet.....again...

WV: deousit....that's how you get rid of those little bugs.

MissC said...

Mitts with a bustier?????!!! Is he mad?

champaignken said...

Saved by the Bell: the Transgender Years.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Please baby, just call me your chalk-faced whore one more time? Just for old-times sake?"

Rodney Dill said...

Don't dream it, be it.

prince of leaves said...

"Dr. Laura, I'm your biggest fan!"

prince of leaves said...

These Taiwanese news recreation CGIs are getting really realistic -- they even included Weiner's appendectomy scar!

prince of leaves said...

ORA: "Shall I get you a satanic mechanic?"

Spin said...

"Tootsie, you'll never pull it off without foundation garments"

Submariner said...

"Come to Mama!"

Submariner said...

Uh, TA-DA!
It's your, um, birthday present hon. Why are you home before I could, uh, wrap it?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The Broadway musical Tammy Faye and Jim Baker's First Date met with tragedy when on opening night the female lead suffocated from makeup-clogged pores.

-OR-

Most stalkers are content to hang around in the background - "Come on, you've got to remember. It's me... Bob, Bob Tringle, from Ebenezer High... 10th grade home room?! The Panty Thief?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Mona sat in stunned silence processing the irony of Tim bragging about how he'd endured a whole body wax without "crying like a girl."

mpur said...

As the shock wore off, Hillary slowly began to realize that Anthony must have mistakenly gotten the note she had left for Huma.

Submariner said...

♪ Let's do the Time Warp again...♫

Anonymous said...

Mario Lopez's new reality show.

Vinneh

Submariner said...

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Submariner said...

Sometimes you don't really WANT to run into the nerdy kid you grew up with that became famous. Here we see Sonja Barerra running into Ricky Martin at the Fire Island Hotel...

Submariner said...

"Pat? Hey, Pat? Pat! Pat Fitzgerald? Patrick Fitzgerald, I THOUGHT" that was you!"

"Hi, how you doing? Thanks for watching."

"Hey, hey, hey! Now, don't you tell me you don't remember me because I sure as heckfire remember YOU!"

"Not a chance."

Ned... Ned Ryerson!
"Needled!ck Ned"?
"Ned the Head"?
C'mon, buddy; Case Western High? I did the whistling belly-button trick at the high school talent show? Bing!
Got the shingles real bad senior year, almost didn't graduate?
Bing again!
I dated your brother Brucie Matthew a couple times until you told me not to anymore? Well?"