1. Obama: "OK, I give up. Which one of those windows is the door?"
2. "Why is, um, General Zod hovering over the White House? Should I be, um, concerned about this?"
3. "What's ceiling cat doing on the roof of the White House?"
4. "OK, Mr. President, let's imagine that when you came into office, the National Debt was waist-deep. By the time you finish your first term, it will be neck deep... on that guy standing on the roof up there."
5. Biden: "Yeah, the lawn sure looks a lot nicer since we fired those lazy black guys and hired some Mex... Ooooh, awkward. God bless ya, anyway, Mr. President."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Jeez, what have I told you about PDA's, Joe?? Get your grubby hand out of my crotch until we're inside. Camera's always on, you horny old retard.
Best of Mr. Hankey
...and we could put the 18th hole right here.
Best of HLam
"Who knew the Chinese could foreclose on the White House? Now where do we go?"
Best of Double the U
Eventually Americans would vote for anyone, President Larry Appleton and Vice-President Balki Bartokomous can be seen here walking into the White House on their first day in office.
Best of Artfldgr
Ya, know... it was one of my most important decisions... to switch to Scotts AstroTurf Builder...
Best of Artfldgr
I know, I know, Americas broke and I have to do my share, but how many times does it take to shoot a "Mens store" ad?
Best of Submariner
THERE'S the egg we couldn't find last April!"
Best of Vinneh
Leading the President by his dick, Brian Williams' interviews are getting a bit too friendly.
Best of Spin
Soros' man leads his charge just like a pull toy
Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
4 pumps, Mr President?
Best of Jack Reacher
"The assessment came in a bit below where we'd planned, but I think we can still work a home-equity line of credit on this place. Anyone know Chris Dodd's banker?"
Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Stand perfectly still, Joe! Those Seal Team 6 guys are still a bit miffed at me taking all the credit, and I just heard a click under your right foot."