1. "Blood wine... blood pie... live eels in blood sauce... is this Klingon cooking or English?"
2. "Yeah, my next recipe is gonna be 'Chalk-Faced-Whore-With-a-Spoon-Jammed-Up-Her-Ass-Sideways-for-Mouthin'-Off-to-the-Queen-of-America."
3. (Chalk-Faced Whore) "Amber Lamps? Why on Earth would I need an Amber Lamp?"
4. "Nice loogie, Mrs. President."
5. "So, Mrs. Obama, was it your idea to plant industrial hemp in the White House garden, or was it Mr. 57 States?"
Best of blue
"..and for the vegans we just have pictures of Weiners!"
Best of Dr. Doom
"Yes ma'am", said Naomi, "We call it 'hope and change stew' and it is made with whatever ingredients the average formerly middle class family can scrape together from their pantry. This one is mostly cat food"...
Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
"Salad, what be a salad?"
"Look M'Chel, I've told you before - you eat salad before the side of beef!"
Best of dub
Welcome to Old Navy, can I help you?
Best of prince of leaves
July 2015: seven years into the Greater Depression, National Recovery Administrator Michelle Obama enlists aid from North Korea to teach the nation the best grass and tree-bark recipes.
Best of MissC
M'chelle's sabotage is unclear: Will she spit into the zucchini medley or throw the lump crabmeat salad in there? Decisions...decisions...
Best of Jack Reacher
"When do you add the mayo? I know you people love mayo."
Best of mpur
Apparently, the Michellosaurus does not always spread open the round crests on its head before spitting a paralyzing secretion....