Monday, May 23, 2011
Will All the America-Hating Marxists Please Raise Their Hands
1. "Well, I inherited the economy from my predecessor, but shooting Bin Laden in the face... that was all me, bitches!"
2. After demanding a high-five for single-handedly taking down Bin Laden, Obama was surprised with the entire military and defense establishment left him hanging.
3. The weakened president could only manage one sad, dispirited jazz hand.
4. "... and the streets will run red with the blood of the capitalist oppressors." Someone accidentally loaded Obama's speech for his San Francisco fundraiser onto the Teleprompter for his address to the CIA. No one really noticed, though.
5. The oldest of the CIA veterans pondered the irony that the POTUS was the kind of Marxist tinpot they were being paid to assassinate back in the seventies.
Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
"Yes. With this mighty left hand I personally strangled bin Laden while the SEAL team looked on in awe."
Best of HLam
"Yes, I am the one that called God and had him call off the Rapture. It was me. Just me. All me. You're welcome."
Best of dadoctah
Apophis realizes too late that he's forgotten to put on his kara kesh.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Good-bye middle class, good-bye health insurance overhaul, good-bye balanaced budget, good-bye American freedoms, good-bye second term, good-bye yellow brick road... and good-night Irene.
Best of jj
Excuse me...someone wrote a bunch of stars on this wall. Give me a minute while I erase them...
Best of blue
"Excuse me while I whip this out!'
Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Talk to the palm, Israel."
Best of Jack Reacher
"Will the operator of a black Cadillac sedan identify himself? You're parked in a restricted zone."
Best of Mr. Hankey
"You're welcome. I'm so glad I was there to accomplish your mission for you. No more thanks are necessary."
Best of GregMan
"And this is the hand I used to give Frank Marshall Davis a reach-around!"
Best of dub
Sully's search for "negro handjob" led to more disappointment.
Best of Mr. Hankey
Obama demonstrates the power of the dark side...as he lifts his X-Wing from the swamp.
Best of Vinneh
"Wait 'til he finds out the boys down in the cyber lab loaded Tropic of Cancer on the teleprompter."
Best of Submariner
In the name of freedom♪
♫Before you break the bank♪
Who the heck let Forbes near ToTUS?
Best of Rodney Dill
"Who cried when Old Yeller died?"