Tuesday, May 10, 2011

"Sad to see a man looking for his balls and finding nothing but net."



1. "I bow to you, Mr. Shuttlecock."

2."The ball acted stupidly."

3. "I call foul, Mr. Referee. Chris Matthews was waving his tits at me."

4. "What do you think of my glutes, kids? Are they fabulous or what?"

5. The illegitimate sons of Jake and Elwood blues look on the president makes a f--kin' retard out of himself again.

Best of blue
Needing a job in 2013, Obama auditions for the role Of Alexander Scott in the newest I Spy remake

Best of USMC2841
Once you've had your head up there so long you really can't even feel the racket.

Best of jj
Damn you Gere, get that gerbil out!!

Best of GregMan
"Now watch as I pull a reason to spend another few trillion dollars we don't have out of my ass!"

Best of Jack Reacher
First the White House said he hit the shuttlecock, then nearly hit it, then that the wind acted up, then that there never was a game in the first place. No more questions, please.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Mimicking Bawney Fwank at the last White House mixer.

Best of Submariner
Thawt bubble; "If that 100% typical white boy Agassi can make a shot between his legs, then a 50% Arab Muslim can surely..."
HOLY FRAKKIN' ALLAH THAT HURT!

Thradwinner: Dr. Doom
No longer content with merely bowing and apologizing, the President takes to center court at Wimbledon and begins to spank himself to atone for amerikkka's transgressions...

Best of Army of Dad
"...and this is what all the white people along the Mississippi should do (bend over and hike up their pants) Bush hated black people during floods, now we are getting even!"

Best of Mr. Hankey
Just another black man showing off as he adjusts himself mid-thigh.

Best of Cricket
After authorizing the mission to kill OBL, Obama's head slowly begins to revert to its original position.

24 comments:

blue said...

Needing a job in 2013, Obama auditions for the role Of Alexander Scott in the newest I Spy remake>

USMC2841 said...

Once you've had your head up there so long you really can't even feel the racket.

GregMan said...

"This was the position Frank Marshall Davis liked the best."

jj said...

Damn you Gere, get that gerbil out!!

GregMan said...

"Now watch as I pull a reason to spend another few trillion dollars we don't have out of my ass!"

GregMan said...

"Now, see, pretend my ass is the Amerikkkan taxpayer, and the tennis racket is the I.R.S."

President Soetero explains why his socialist health care bill shouldn't be repealed.

Jack Reacher said...

First the White House said he hit the shuttlecock, then nearly hit it, then that the wind acted up, then that there never was a game in the first place. No more questions, please.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Obamalama brings down the house with some Henny Youngman jokes:

Now see, if this were hockey, Michelle could easily block the puck in this position.

-OR-

Now see, if this were football, Michelle could easily block a field goal attempt in this position.

-OR-

Now see, if this were WWII, Michelle could easily block the german tank advance in this position.

-OR-

Now see, if this were earth's final moments, Michelle could easily block the approaching asteroid in this position.

-OR-

Now see, if this were [situation], Michelle could easily block the [moving object(s)] in this position.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The strap on our secret santa got us for Xmas is da bomb, I'll tell you what!

-OR-

Whether playing badminton or negotiating with the enemy or solving the debt crisis, I present my strongest ASSet! The Kick Me sign was Biden's idea.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Mimicking Bawney Fwank at the last White House mixer.

-OR-

When asked what he thought Schwarzenegger would get in the divorce, Obamalama silently demonstrates.

HLam said...

So, kids, imagine the net is the border fence. This is how we'll get those Mexicans into the country from now on. Notice the trampoline effect...

Kaptain Krude said...

"Excuse me while I whip this, uh, er, um, this, um, er, um, while I whip this, um, um, um, er, excuse me while I whip this, um... No more questions!"

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "If that 100% typical white boy Agassi can make a shot between his legs, then a 50% Arab Muslim can surely..."
HOLY FRAKKIN' ALLAH THAT HURT!

Dr. Doom said...

No longer content with merely bowing and apologizing, the President takes to center court at Wimbledon and begins to spank himself to atone for amerikkka's transgressions...

Army of Dad said...

ORA: "Sunny, ball ball."

wv: trump

Army of Dad said...

"...and this is what all the white people along the Mississippi should do (bend over and hike up their pants) Bush hated black people during floods, now we are getting even!"

Army of Dad said...

The real reason why America sucks at tennis.

Mr. Hankey said...

Just another black man showing off as he adjusts himself mid-thigh.

jj said...

O demonstrates the latest craze... fling the turd.

dub said...

Lets see....

Head up the ass joke? Check
Gere/Gerbil joke? Check
Obligatory Blazing Saddles reference? Check
Giant black penis joke? Check

Ok, well, I got nothing.

Cricket said...

A gritty cutting edge remake of 'Gone With The Wind.' Metaphors and hilarity abound with Obama searching for his balls in the wake of the tornadoes in the deep South.

Submariner said...

Dr. Doom said...
No longer content with merely bowing and apologizing, the President takes to center court at Wimbledon and begins to spank himself to atone for amerikkka's transgressions...


Out-freaking-standing, D.D. Instant nomination for "Best Of's 2011"

Dr. Doom said...

Thank you sir, but I hardly deserve any accolades - I merely calls 'em as I sees 'em...

Cricket said...

After authorizing the mission to kill OBL, Obama's head slowly begins to revert to its original position.