Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Politicians Sitting on Their Asses While the Troops They Despise Make Them Look Good


1. Obama forces his staff to watch his First Term Vacation slides... all four million of them.

2. Day 19 of the "Should we or should we not take out Bin Laden" Seminar focused on deconstructing the paradigm of bellicosity in the context of transglobalism.

3.They were utterly fascinated by the display... would the bouncing logo ever precisely carom off the corner of the screen?

4. Obama began his presentation, "Now, as you can see, despite our best efforts, a few small sections of Amerikkka are not totally boned yet."

5. All work at the White House stops for "Snuff Film Tuesday."

Best of Army of Dad
"Joe, see if we can file charges for use of excessive force, they shot him twice in the head!"

Best of Dr. Doom
"So are we agreed?", asked the President, "One large with sausage and onions, half with anchovies and half with pineapple"...

Best of Vinneh
The always original Joe Biden sighed, "I love it when a plan comes together."

Best of Jack Reacher
Biden: "Look! The Sham-Wow picked it all up! Didja see that?"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Biden Thawtbubble: "Man, this is a complicated plot, I'm getting sleepy. Does Bin Laden get away? They don't look like seals, but then I never understood why they were called frogmen, either. Are these actors or is this reality tv?"

Best of Jack Reacher
"Look, Joe, it's just a parody. That isn't really Hitler, and those captions are just made-up."

Best of Rodney Dill
worst.bachelor.party.ever

Best of Mr Hankey
Biden is amazed at the graphics on what he assumes is "Call of Duty 5".

Best of blue
"I left my golf game early for this?"

Threadwinner: Adriane
2 shots, 1 Head ...

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
Yes, I think I will award myself the. medal of honor, after all I had to leave my golf game early for this shit

Best of prince of leaves
Everything was going according to plan...until some joker at Bagram decided it would be funny to Rickroll the uplink.

Best of Rodney Dill
"So how is Operation OMGWTFBBQ going?"

Best of Silhouette
Someone did put Baby in the corner.

53 comments:

Army of Dad said...

Hey general, do you get HBO on this thing?

Army of Dad said...

"This director acted stupidly."

"Mr. President this is live video of our SEALS attacking Bin Ladin's compund."

"Ooh, sweet this is just like Patriot Games!"

Hillary facepalms while thinking 'I lost to this guy!?'

Army of Dad said...

"Joe, see if we can file charges for use of excessive force, they shot him twice in the head!"

Army of Dad said...

Now on a very special To Catch a Predator...

Army of Dad said...

BHO thought bubble: This is all Bush's fault!

Army of Dad said...

Biden thought bubble:
(This page left intentionally blank)

Army of Dad said...

Hillary is appalled at the way M'Chel decapitates her victims.

Dr. Doom said...

"So are we agreed?", asked the President, "One large with sausage and onions, half with anchovies and half with pineapple"...

Anonymous said...

"Commercial. Quick turn on the Knicks game."

Vinney

Anonymous said...

"Bill make a note. I need to know if there are any gays on the Delta Team."

Vinney

Anonymous said...

BO: "OK guys be quiet. I'm waiting for BA to say, "I pity the fool."

Vinney

Anonymous said...

A bunch of Libs watching a military operation is like interior decorators watching a hockey game.

Vinney

Anonymous said...

The always original Joe Biden sighed, "I love it when a plan comes together."

Vinney

Jack Reacher said...

Everything stops for the royal wedding. Everything.

Jack Reacher said...

Biden: "Look! The Sham-Wow picked it all up! Didja see that?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Biden Thawtbubble: "Man, this is a complicated plot, I'm getting sleepy. Does Bin Laden get away? They don't look like seals, but then I never understood why they were called frogmen, either. Are these actors or is this reality tv?"

-OR-

As newly unclassified Oval Office security tape footage of the famous Lewinsky Dribble are shown as part of the cabinet's Casual Friday entertainment, Hilary realizes this is a side of Bill she never saw. ...and she almost blurts out that she has a dress like that in her closet.

Jack Reacher said...

"What is this web site? Some kind of creepy, holier than thou right-wing thing? Anyway, scroll back to those Thursday pictures."

Jack Reacher said...

"Look, Joe, it's just a parody. That isn't really Hitler, and those captions are just made-up."

Jack Reacher said...

"So, that's it? Michael Scott is gone? I'm gonna need a minute."

Jack Reacher said...

Guy in back "Are you guys playing Wolfenstein?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Everyone waits with baited breath as the Navy Seal lotto cage spins. Most put their money on #2 in the office pool.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Iran, a courier is handing Mahmoud Ahmadinejad a ticket with a #2 on it and he's left wondering who keeps sending him these things.

Rodney Dill said...

The Kagan/Sotomayor, girl on girl video was a big hit at the staff party.

Rodney Dill said...

Obama: "Let me demonstrate my position on this..."
Hillary(thinking): "Bill never did that for me..."

Rodney Dill said...

worst.bachelor.party.ever

Rodney Dill said...

Hillary watches in horror as Stacy and Clinton explain the evils of the blue pantsuit on "What Not To Wear."

Mr Hankey said...

Biden is amazed at the graphics on what he assumes is "Call of Duty 5".

Mr Hankey said...

Ooh ooh...tell 'em to say this, "No Mr. Bin Laden, I expect you to die!" or no no say "say hello to my little friend"! That would be so kick-ass!!

Rodney Dill said...

On TV: ♬ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea
Room: "OSAMA BLOB SQUARE PANTS"

GregMan said...

The horror finally sinks in as the assembled liberals finally realize they have to defend Amerikkka, at least this one time.

blue said...

"I left my golf game early for this?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

To help balance the federal budget, we've signed Johnny Depp to reprise the role of Jack Sparrow in - Pirates of the Somali Coast: Look What Washed Ashore! Bin Laden's Bloated Booty."

-OR-

23 Missing Minutes of Tape!
Obamalama's faced with a dilemma... does he reprimand the Navy skipper for letting his guys reenact "Weekend at Bernies" using Bin Laden's corpse?

Mr Hankey said...

Obama watches the evidence from "Cheaters'" cameras & decides that Charlie Sheen may be a winner afterall.

Adriane said...

2 shots, 1 Head ...

USMC2841 said...

Where's the popcorn? They said there'd be popcorn.

jj said...

obama, "Show a copy of this to M'chelle. let her see what happens when someone takes away one of my cheeseburgers"

WV: fails...these are just too easy..

jj said...

Biden thought bubble, "They woke me up for another travel video"

Shayne said...

Who farted?

Mr Hankey said...

After movie night at The White House features "The Monica Lewinsky Story", Hillary wonders if the Navy Seals Team 6 are still available...

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

yes, I think I will award myself the. medal of honor, after all I had to leave my golf game early for this shit

mpur said...

Hillary thought bubble "I cannot believe she wore that hat to the wedding..."

Spin said...

To expand on Adriane's caption:

Hilary's first viewing of "Two Girls one Cup"

prince of leaves said...

Hillary: [burp!]
Gates thoughtbubble: "Seabass?"

prince of leaves said...

General: "Just be patient, Mr. President. When the adults are done here, we'll let you go on teevee and make a speech!"

prince of leaves said...

Everything was going according to plan...until some joker at Bagram decided it would be funny to Rickroll the uplink.

Anonymous said...

Biden: "God I love this job. One day we send a Squad of Marines to trial for snuffing one Muzzie who dropped his gun, and the next day I'm a hero in a photo for watching a Muzzie get snuffed."

- Oiao

I kid you not. WV = doush (what I think of Biden, and hell, the rest of em. Not to mention Hildabeast needs one)!

Rodney Dill said...

Biden: "Did that Seal just shout 'LEEROY JENKINS'?"

Rodney Dill said...

"So how is Operation OMGWTFBBQ going?"

Silhouette said...

Someone did put Baby in the corner.

Mr. Hankey said...

Not to be denied, Obama has secret access video to the Royal Honeymoon Suite.

Kaptain Krude said...

"So THAT'S what an erect penis looks like!"

"Yes, Mr. President, and please stop thinking so loudly, I can hear you all the way over here."

Cricket said...

Hillary just realized they weren't watching '24.'

All the staffers wondered where the play-by-play and slow-motion replays were...and then figured out it wasn't a game.

Rodney Dill said...

When Hillary had been invited to watch the 'Seal Show,' she, of course, had assumed they meant something on Animal Planet."

Anonymous said...

UN PRESIDENT TIM KALEMKARIAN, US PRESIDENT TIM KALEMKARIAN, US SENATE TIM KALEMKARIAN, US HOUSE TIM KALEMKARIAN: BEST MAJOR CANDIDATE.