Friday, May 06, 2011

Mistakes Were Made


1. Yeah, the aftermath of my first beer was pretty much like this, too.

2. "Whew! That was close! Good thing I'm a too old for the Safe School Czar's tastes."

3. Cocaine on the floor? Dead bodies in the background? This is either a Miami Vice rerun or Charlie Sheen's "Winning" again.

4. "He tore off my door and ripped the intestines out of my roommate just to get to our stash. That bear really does f-cking love cocaine."

5. Well, that was $20,000 in tuition well spent.

40 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

"Is it true bleach destroys DNA evidence? C'mon, this is important!"

Rodney Dill said...

"Whaddya mean 'I got Bin Laden.'"

Anonymous said...

"I call it my open door policy."

Vinney

Rodney Dill said...

"Winning, duh."

Rodney Dill said...

...but he said, 'Niagara Falls.'

Rodney Dill said...

best.glee club.episode.ever

Rodney Dill said...

Yes, my name is Carlton.

Anonymous said...

"Just tell campus security it was SEAL Team 6. See if they buy it."

Vinney

GregMan said...

"So the party got a little wild. Chill out, it's not like anybody got killed. Oh, wait..."

metalgarth said...

What happens in Greg Brady's dorm room... uh, frequently, spills out into the hallway of Greg Brady's dorm.

GregMan said...

"Mr. Emmanuel, I found another dead body you can have vote for you!"

sonicfrog said...

The reviews are in. The uber-low budget superhero movie "Door" actually isn't half bad, though the lead character was at times a bit wooden.

sonicfrog said...

"Al Gore.... What have you done????!!!!".

dadoctah said...

"You guys need to keep it down out here; I have to officiate at early Mass in the morning."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

"Military Budget Cuts"
Honest, Mr. Mirton, the door flew off the hinges and these Navy Seals came barging in yelling at us. Then one said, "No worries, just practicing," and they all left real quiet like!

-OR-

The dean's new policy of housing frat boys in the regular dorms proved not to be such a great idea.

-OR-

So, like, we were all sitting around eating chili when Ronnie thought it'd be neat to light a fart. I don't remember much after that.

dadoctah said...

Business major, right?

mpur said...

The updated version of "Animal House" looks a little edgier than the original.

(Wow, that formula never gets old)

mpur said...

You know, you'd think these college boys would learn not to respond to the Navy SEAL catch phrase "dead goatf***er says 'what?'.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Thawtbubble of guy on floor holding crotch -
"Memo to Self: Never ever even jokingly tell a fullback his mom's a hot MILF."

-OR-

Semiconscious guy on floor mumbles: "Did anyone get the license of that truck?"

-OR-

Guy holding door: Dammit Orville, you're supposed to be watching the meth closely! Orville? ORVILLE?
Orville, on floor: huh?

molson said...

My major? Political science. Why do you ask?

molson said...

So I was like Dude you gonna eat that and that's when Dawn's head exploded.

eatrys said...

Ang Lee updates The Postman Always Knocks You Out Twice ...

Double the U said...

Well the police busted in here at 3am in full SWAT gear, started shooting the pets, tear gas everywhere, throwing everyone to the ground and breaking everything. Apparently Bloomberg had this house targeted because we purchased two containers of salt in one purchase yesterday.

Spineless Vertebra said...

Yeah,it's time for the American Pie series to hang it up.

prince of leaves said...

"Undergraduates are required to live in University dormitories for their first two years, in order to experience the personal growth, learning opportunities, and sense of community that comes with shared living experiences." -- Student Life Handbook, Pg. 23.

prince of leaves said...

"Yeah, well, it started as a squirtgun fight using toilet water, and it sorta...got out of hand."

[Yeah, that's the actual explanation for the equivalent photo from my freshman year in the dorms.]

jj said...

The Washing Capitols react to getting swept by the Tampa Bay Lightning...

Anonymous said...

On the second floor DEVGRU found and 'cleared' OBL's harem of toyboyz.

blue said...

I just don't under stand my english lit assignment, how did Aldous Huxley percept a door?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Come here, guys... Dawn's Head Really Exploded!!!

WordVerify: astrap - a place you really do NOT want your golf ball to land. Take the stroke!

JohnS1959 said...

A typical scene in the Washington Generals' locker room after the Globetrotters game. That Meadowlark is a real cut up...

Submariner said...

Grab a board, dude; huge waves're going around the stadium!

Submariner said...

When a THB appears to have 37 grams of extra body fat causes dub's sanity to snap for good.

Dr. Doom said...

"Move along folks, nothing to see here", directed Bruce, "Just the aftermath of another University of Delaware frat party"...

Dr. Doom said...

"No officer", replied young Joe Biden, "The 9-1-1 operator said I should make sure he wasn't breathing before I started CPR so I hit him with the door"...

Mr. Hankey said...

Things were too quiet at Duke University...

Mr. Hankey said...

..and he turned into this big green guy and started going "Hulk smash" and stuff like that. He didn't have to get so pissed when we asked him if we could count on his vote for Obama next year!

Submariner said...

The last thing I remember? Telling some geezer I didn't have time to hear about Ron Paul...

Mr. Hankey said...

We thought it was just going to be a Candy-Gram!! Land Sharks exist!!

Submariner said...

The monors tend to get restless and testy when V da K doesn't select "Best Ofs" for a week...