Wednesday, May 04, 2011
It's Called Orgasmatron
1. I don't know what it is, but the GITMO detainees gave up Bin Laden forty seconds after it was plugged into their rectums.
2. Visitors to London were baffled by what exactly the Obamas' gift to the newlyweds was.
3. I don't know what it is either, but they spent $40,000,000 in Stimulus on it.
4. The device Bush used to steer Hurricane Katrina into the black neighborhoods of New Orleans is now on display in the Smithsonian.
5. Apple's military division unveils the iMine; more expensive and less effective than other weapons, but it makes our troops feel superior for using it.
Best of USMC2841
Keep shooting. It's just a minor quake. They build these reactors to withstand anything. Too soon?
Best of Vinneh
Even a gerbil can be replaced.
Best of Jack Reacher
"...and this is where the Cook County ballots come out."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The new massage shower head by Pollenex is specially designed for today's larger woman.
Best of dadoctah
It was then that I suddenly realized: Ron Popeil had finally gone utterly mad!
Best of dub
Best of prince of leaves
When Dr. Tokara suddenly dropped the camera and started speaking in gravely backward Latin, the other Large Hadron Collider scientits knew they had discovered the Devil Particle by mistake.
Best of Spin
"Ok, now give me playful".
Best of JohnS1959
The new iSatellite will be used to capture personal information from all of Apple's spyPhones.
Best of GregMan
I don't know what it is either, but I bet it needs more than a couple of "D" cells to start it vibrating.
Best of Rodney Dill
Now all I need is the Illudium Pu-38 Explosive Space Modulator.