Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Impaler --- I hardly know her!

Al



1. "Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time."


2. "Impaling people is part of our noble culture, you white European fascist!"


3. So, what's the difference between impaling someone on a giant spike and pouring water on somebody's nose? If you're a leftist... nothing.


4. "She made fun of M'Chel's outfits. B-tch had to die."


5. Best of Andrew Sullivan: "I've had bigger."

Best of Mr. Hankey
Syrian Cirque du Soleil practice isn't going to good.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Kids, this is why the CPSC pulled the Land of the Giants Backyard Lawn Darts game off the US market.

Best of dadoctah
♫♪ Peg o' my heart ...♪♫

Best of JohnS1959
Man you REALLY don't want to get caught smoking in public in California...

Best of sonicfrog
Talk about bad luck... As if falling out of the plane weren't enough, Miranda still just couldn't catch a break on the way down.

Best of Submariner
"I'll take 'Chris Mathews Sarah Palin Dreams' for $1000, Alex."

Best of USMC2841
Hell No! I'm not Spartacus. Look what happened to the last guy who said that.

Best of Army of Dad
Emperor dub shows his displeasure at the tiny belly flab roll and bad hair.

Best of Rodney Dill
No abdul, its Bunjee jumping, not Punjee jumping.

Best of Dr. Doom
Man Congolese fast food vendors have it tough...

Threadwinner mpur
Vlad, party of one.

35 comments:

blue said...

Dude...that's not what I meant when I said to go out & get some Obama voters!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Biggest photoshop FAIL since Obamalama's cloven hoofprints were pasted onto a fake Hawaiian birth certificate.
Even if Rosie O'Donnell fell on the pike during a parachuting accident, it wouldn't have broken and shifted that much.

-OR-

Food Court at Rwandan Tent City Mall
Ding! Ding! Ding! Dinner's served!

Mr. Hankey said...

What do you mean October 21st? I thought we were free to rape and pillage 'this' weekend???

Mr. Hankey said...

Oh crap, who made fun of her on Facebook?

Mr. Hankey said...

Okay...now chicken-fry & leave her at the big wooden gates so we can hide before Michelle comes.

Mr. Hankey said...

Syrian Cirque du Soleil practice isn't going to good.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Kids, this is why the CPSC pulled the Land of the Giants Backyard Lawn Darts game off the US market.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Trailer for "Nightmare on Elm Street XXVI: Freddy's Haitian Vacation
If you think you've seen everything Freddy Kruger can do with his fingernails, you ain't seen nothing yet!

dadoctah said...

♫♪ Peg o' my heart ...♪♫

Mr. Hankey said...

The Syrian remake of "Alien" uses a different kind of special effects.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Black Entertainment Network's comedy version of Night of the Living Dead stars Count Chocula and WWF's Vlad the Impaler.

-OR-

I'd heard other countries allowed advertisers to push the envelope, but this graphic Midol commerical is just gross.

-OR-

R*E*S*P*E*C*T
By now, all the townfolk knew Sharneequa was a drama queen who hated to do the ironing.

Anonymous said...

The cannibals were up for some shish kabob so they slipped a native on the barbie.

Vinneh

JohnS1959 said...

Man you REALLY don't want to get caught smoking in public in California...

sonicfrog said...

Unaware they were sealing their fate, they didn't realize this is not the way to kill a witch.

VerWord: polfts

sonicfrog said...

Talk about bad luck... As if falling out of the plane weren't enough, Miranda still just couldn't catch a break on the way down.

Submariner said...

"Taking your girl out for a steak."
Some phrases just don't translate well into Pali

Submariner said...

I just don't get the symbolism of the Kwanza flag...

Submariner said...

"I'll take 'Chris Mathews Sarah Palin Dreams' for $1000, Alex."

"And the answer is..."

Submariner said...

My mother questioned my relationship with my goat, Fatima. I had no choice under Sharia...

Submariner said...

A simple mistake, really; when Vlad got his party invitation, he thought "BYOB" meant "bring your own brunette" but she didn't want to go. So...

Rodney Dill said...

Spit and polish - Ur doin' it rong.

USMC2841 said...

U.S. Navy missiles, Now with pinpoint accuracy.

USMC2841 said...

Hell No! I'm not Spartacus. Look what happened to the last guy who said that.

Army of Dad said...

Emperor dub shows his displeasure at the tiny belly flab roll and bad hair.

Army of Dad said...

"Dis be what happens to vampire beetches 'ere mon!"

Army of Dad said...

Pike's Peak(ing) out from her bowels.

Army of Dad said...

NO dummies, you have to destroy the brain to kill a zombie!

Army of Dad said...

Rapture, rupture, let's call the whole thing off.

Army of Dad said...

Wow, the pro-abortion camp has taken a disturbing turn...

Rodney Dill said...

In Soviet Russia, you are thrown at lawn Jarts

Rodney Dill said...

No abdul, its Bunjee jumping, not Punjee jumping.

Dr. Doom said...

Man Congolese fast food vendors have it tough...

Dr. Doom said...

The last who claimed to have witnessed the President's birth in Kenya...

jj said...

Ahrnold celebrates his impending divorce.

mpur said...

Vlad, party of one.