Doll House

1. "Tell ACORN we got this election in the bag!"

2."Bud Bundy had a garage sale."

3. "Surrounded by women with air-filled heads? I thought I was just on 'The View.'"

4. "I bought them with the profits from my second-rate pornography business."

5. Phil only felt comfortable around women who were his intellectual equals. He later dumped his wife and married Katie Couric.

Best of Vinneh
    "Quick someone dress one up like Bin Laden and get a Polaroid."

Best of Mr. Hankey
    Lady Gaga's puppet handlers finally come clean. Still no word on who is controlling Joy Behar.

Best of Double the U
Their marriage improved after they added toys and accessories. The marriage ended when she realized she didn't need him around anymore.

Best of Jack Reacher
    Meanwhile, in the MSNBC Green Room...

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
I'm not saying FEMA messed up again, but when they came pounding on our door and told me and Bertha to provide shelter for these tornado victims, I was like WTF?

Best of dadoctah
Because they refused to take part in his campaign photo-ops, Congressman Whiteguy had to bring in doubles for his daughters.

Best of dub
    It goes without saying that we would never make a fat love doll here at DubCo.

Best of prince of leaves
"I call them 'cybernetic life-form nodes', or cylons." 150,000 years later, the cycle repeats itself, albeit somewhat less sexy this time around.

Best of USMC2841
    I like to refer to it as the "Mormon on the Cheap" plan.

Best of divine miss m
    Gianni would roll over in his grave thinking about things people do with the inflatable Donnatella Versace doll.

Best of mpur
    "Oh, they're really no bother," said Gladys, "well....until the weekly clean up day. That is a little disgusting."