Wednesday, May 18, 2011

A Big Yellow Hand for the Dead Pope



1. "Awww... they're just inflatable." Andrew Sullivan's ultimate fisting fantasy was, alas, not to be.

2. You know, those are gonna come in useful for the massive Face Palm the next time Obama announces a new economic policy.

3. So, Princess Beatrice does gloves, too. Who knew.

4. Vatican flash mob.

5. The Vatican's new dress code was intend to prevent the spontaneous public masturbation that had been running rampant in St. Peter's Square.

Best of Submariner
This was Queen Elizabeth Wave Training 101. Why did they bring a picture of a dead pontiff?

Best of Submariner
While most of the church embraced the "Seig Heil to Benedict" papl edict, Francine stayed true to her Johnny Paul heart.

Best of blue
Confess to the hand

Best of metalgarth
The re-do of Hands Across America totally missed the point of the original... BTW What was point of the original one?

Best of Son Of The Godfather
OSPA - Obscure South Park Alert: "And here we see the crowd writhing with anticipation, ready to catch the communion wafers thrown by His Holiness, as is tradition. This is great day for Italy, and therefore, the world."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Opponents to sainthood hastily formed the Whack Him Upside His Head protest group and marched on the Vatican.

Best of Rodney Dill
Through a coincidence of fate Hellboy was able to pass mostly undetected.

Best of Jack Reacher
Some "Let's Make A Deal" contestants know how to game the system.

Best of Matt the K
The faithful line up to pimp-slap Sinead O'Connor.

Best of GregMan
In his first miracle following his beatification, Blessed John Paul the Great makes everyone's Pope hand strong.

Best of dadoctah
"We're Number Five!"

Best of VInney
Oddly, the Episcopal gloves had the rainbow colors.

23 comments:

dub said...

Wait, those arent made of latex or lambskin are they?

Submariner said...

This was Queen Elizabeth Wave Training 101. Why did they bring a picture of a dead pontiff?

Submariner said...

While most of the church embraced the "Seig Heil to Benedict" papl edict, Francine stayed true to her Johnny Paul heart.

blue said...

confess to the hand

Anonymous said...

The new Latin mass may be longer but it has a 7th inning stretch.

Vinneh

metalgarth said...

The re-do of Hands Across America totally missed the point of the original... BTW What was point of the original one?

metalgarth said...

You need an over sized glove to clean up after the pope after he shits in the woods!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Pope makes mad endorsement cash.

Son Of The Godfather said...

OSPA - Obscure South Park Alert:

"And here we see the crowd writhing with anticipation, ready to catch the communion wafers thrown by His Holiness, as is tradition. This is great day for Italy, and therefore, the world."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

No Hairy Palms! No Hairy Palms! No Hairy Palms!
The Priests Without Consciences group was comprised mostly of old biddies strongly opposed to masturbation. Timmy the ghey accolyte had his own reasons for joining.

-OR-

David Attenborough Whispers: People in rural Armenia who have never seen a coconut celebrate a different PALM Sunday.

-OR-

Opponents to sainthood hastily formed the Whack Him Upside His Head protest group and marched on the Vatican.

Rodney Dill said...

Through a coincidence of fate Hellboy was able to pass mostly undetected.

Jack Reacher said...

Some "Let's Make A Deal" contestants know how to game the system.

Dr. Doom said...

Excerpted from the JAMA:

Seen here is a group of members of a certain Holier-Than-Thou Right Wing Christian website who refer to themselves as 'Monors'. Clearly visible in the picture is a strange medical condition referred to as Palmus Giganticus. Scientists are puzzled by this strange medical condition which affects the Monors only on Thursdays...

Matt the K said...

I for one welcome our Catholic yellow-handed Overlords.

Matt the K said...

The faithful line up to pimp-slap Sinead O'Connor.

Mr Hankey said...

Holy Hand Grenades

Submariner said...

ORA:

The Cosa di Tuti-Frutti were feared throughout Napoli...

Army of Dad said...

Of course the hands had to be yellow. Couldn't have any Rosie Palmers at a pope's beatification, now could we!

GregMan said...

In his first miracle following his beatification, Blessed John Paul the Great makes everyone's Pope hand strong.

Submariner said...

Funny; I would have thought that since they chose yellow, they have also chosen for them to be LEFT hands...

Mr. Hankey said...

With divine intervention, Pope John Paul's miracle only makes their hands grow big and yellow - no more going blind for Whipping the One-Eyed Wonder Weasle.

dadoctah said...

"We're Number Five!"

Anonymous said...

Oddly, the Episcopal gloves had the rainbow colors.

Vinneh