1. "I swear to Gaia, if you say 'I wanna be the first man on Uranus' one more time, I'm popping your helmet."
2. Their last thoughts before dying on the Martian surface, "Chucks are no substitute... for... space... boots."
3. "OK, since Number 2 just had his face bitten off, I'm guessing those aliens are not friendly. Good command decision sending him in first, though."
4. "Check it out. That Mike Teevee kid just obliterated himself. "
5. "Well, I say f--k the little yellow bastards and f--k their nuclear power plant!"
Best of dadoctah
"Did I tell you I got an audition to play Bela Lugosi in a movie about Ed Wood? I smell Oscar!"
Best of Rodney Dill
"The moon rover just ate number 6, we're never breakin' outta here."
Best of prince of leaves
"My God! It's full of tangerines!"
Best of prince of leaves
ORA: The sub-miniaturized crew of the Proteus II, injected into an ailing Joe Biden, come to the realization that his cranio-rectal inversion is beyond their abilities to repair.
Best of Jack Reacher
"Dave, I don't see how this whole space exploration thing is furthering our main mission--Muslim outreach."
Best of Vinney
To fund future space programs NASA like many states thought slot machines would generate the needed revenue.
Best of Matt the K
"Can't...breathe!!!...Oxygen...replenisher...made...of...card...board!!!"
Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
In an effort to make space travel more Muslim-friendly, new NASA suits are equipped with an Automated Chest Harness Mounted Esspresso Dispenser, or ACHMED for short.
Best of Passionate Conservative
This is what happens when you let the University of Texas grads run your space program, Ogabe.
Best of metalgarth
Alternate future #2635: After the third global thermo-nuclear war, Chester Cheetah became something of a god like to figure to the survivors.
Best of Adriane
"My God, Sir! We've found it!!!"
'The alien queen brood chamber?'
"No! the tanning salon that John Kerry and Charlie Crist used."
Best of MissC
Sesame Street version of 'Serenity' was brought to you by the numbers 1 and 3.
Best of Dr. Doom
"Well Commander Smith", said Lieutenant Jones, "After seeing the size of that alien probe, I'm glad I don't have the number one on my life support pack"
39 comments:
"Did I tell you I got an audition to play Bela Lugosi in a movie about Ed Wood? I smell Oscar!"
"Where's number 2 going?"
"He just popped a beer in near vacuum and low gravity, so I'd say 'bout a hundred yards."
"The moon rover just ate number 6, we're never breakin' outta here."
"Say, do you think our suits are this color because an orange is a fruit?"
Meanwhile on Planet Cheeto...
Where We Get It From, episode 35: Tang.
Just look how well that big purple head goes with this set - MARVELOUS!
So you're saying the standard model gets 1 klick per gallon and the hybrid gets 3? How much for the hybrid?
"Who. Does. Number. Two. Work. For?
"Say #3, why does your face plate fog up when you get close to me?"
"Channel 3 has pictures of 2 girls kissing, what's on Channel 1?"
"We're all living in Amerika"
After cutbacks to NASA, working spacesuits and oxygen was one of the first things they cut back on.
Number 1: "Dang, I knew I should have pissed more, this Tang is starting to make me orange!"
-Oiao
"I asked NASA how to get out of this mess. They did not know. I'm starting to realize that NASA stands for Never A Strait Answer!"
-Oiao
No. 3: "Knock knock"
No. 1: "Who's there?"
No. 3: "Orange"
No. 1: "Orange who?"
No. 3: "Knock knock"
No. 1: "Who's there?"
No. 3: "Orange"
No. 1: "Orange who?"
No. 3: "Knock knock"
No. 1: "Who's there?"
No. 3: "Cheap spacesuit."
No. 1: "..? Uh, cheap spacesuit who?"
No. 3: "Orange you glad I didn't say aaaaah! you broke my face plate!"
No. 1: "All the way to Mars for a lousy knock-knock joke."
wv: onoma - heh, even the verification system is against Obama. Onoma - I like it.
Intrepid explorers search for signs of life on the planet Beta Carotene.
"Wha-- What IS that? Is that a geisha? Wearing camouflage prints?"
"My God! It's full of tangerines!"
ORA: The sub-miniaturized crew of the Proteus II, injected into an ailing Joe Biden, come to the realization that his cranio-rectal inversion is beyond their abilities to repair.
In the worst example of product placement ever, the remake of "Destination Moon" has the crew traveling to Mars and discovering it is made from Cheetos™.
Rosie O'Donnell's rectal exam begins...
"Survival kit contents check--In them you will find...hold on. It's just an empty cardboard box. What the hell?"
"Dave, I don't see how this whole space exploration thing is furthering our main mission--Muslim outreach."
To fund future space programs NASA like many states thought slot machines would generate the needed revenue.
Vinney
"Can't...breathe!!!...Oxygen...replenisher...made...of...card...board!!!"
In an effort to make space travel more Muslim-friendly, new NASA suits are equipped with an Automated Chest Harness Mounted Esspresso Dispenser, or ACHMED for short.
"Dude, I don't know how to tell you, but the doctor said I have orange aids....."
This is what happens when you let the University of Texas grads run your space program, Ogabe.
Alternate future #2635: After the third global thermo-nuclear war, Chester Cheetah became something of a god like to figure to the survivors.
Houston... we have a probe.
Too much Tang, not enough Poon.
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
"My God, Sir! We've found it!!!"
'The alien queen brood chamber?'
"No! the tanning salon that John Kerry and Charlie Crist used."
Sesame Street version of 'Serenity' was brought to you by the numbers 1 and 3.
Eeewwwwww. Now that we know what's behind Door Number 2, I'm not sure I want to play this alien game.
-OR-
I know we're on a tight filming schedule, but shouldn't they finish building the set before we start pretending we're on Planet Tang?
PLANET of The Apes XII
Uh Oh. I was wondering what we were going to do with these organs when our monkeys ran off. They're back with friends... and it looks like they want to grind our organs!
-OR-
What the hell is Captain Kirk doing here?
"Well Commander Smith", said Lieutenant Jones, "After seeing the size of that alien probe, I'm glad I don't have the number one on my life support pack"
"Look! Theres Waldo!"
-Oiao
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