Saturday, April 16, 2011

Orange Spacemen


1. "I swear to Gaia, if you say 'I wanna be the first man on Uranus' one more time, I'm popping your helmet."

2. Their last thoughts before dying on the Martian surface, "Chucks are no substitute... for... space... boots."

3. "OK, since Number 2 just had his face bitten off, I'm guessing those aliens are not friendly. Good command decision sending him in first, though."

4. "Check it out. That Mike Teevee kid just obliterated himself. "

5. "Well, I say f--k the little yellow bastards and f--k their nuclear power plant!"

Best of dadoctah
"Did I tell you I got an audition to play Bela Lugosi in a movie about Ed Wood? I smell Oscar!"

Best of Rodney Dill
"The moon rover just ate number 6, we're never breakin' outta here."

Best of prince of leaves
"My God! It's full of tangerines!"

Best of prince of leaves
ORA: The sub-miniaturized crew of the Proteus II, injected into an ailing Joe Biden, come to the realization that his cranio-rectal inversion is beyond their abilities to repair.

Best of Jack Reacher
"Dave, I don't see how this whole space exploration thing is furthering our main mission--Muslim outreach."

Best of Vinney
To fund future space programs NASA like many states thought slot machines would generate the needed revenue.

Best of Matt the K
"Can't...breathe!!!...Oxygen...replenisher...made...of...card...board!!!"

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
In an effort to make space travel more Muslim-friendly, new NASA suits are equipped with an Automated Chest Harness Mounted Esspresso Dispenser, or ACHMED for short.

Best of Passionate Conservative
This is what happens when you let the University of Texas grads run your space program, Ogabe.

Best of metalgarth
Alternate future #2635: After the third global thermo-nuclear war, Chester Cheetah became something of a god like to figure to the survivors.

Best of Adriane
"My God, Sir! We've found it!!!"
'The alien queen brood chamber?'
"No! the tanning salon that John Kerry and Charlie Crist used."

Best of MissC
Sesame Street version of 'Serenity' was brought to you by the numbers 1 and 3.

Best of Dr. Doom
"Well Commander Smith", said Lieutenant Jones, "After seeing the size of that alien probe, I'm glad I don't have the number one on my life support pack"

39 comments:

dadoctah said...

"Did I tell you I got an audition to play Bela Lugosi in a movie about Ed Wood? I smell Oscar!"

Rodney Dill said...

"Where's number 2 going?"
"He just popped a beer in near vacuum and low gravity, so I'd say 'bout a hundred yards."

Rodney Dill said...

"The moon rover just ate number 6, we're never breakin' outta here."

blue said...

"Say, do you think our suits are this color because an orange is a fruit?"

Kevin said...

Meanwhile on Planet Cheeto...

dadoctah said...

Where We Get It From, episode 35: Tang.

Submariner said...

Just look how well that big purple head goes with this set - MARVELOUS!

Submariner said...

So you're saying the standard model gets 1 klick per gallon and the hybrid gets 3? How much for the hybrid?

Whacko said...

"Who. Does. Number. Two. Work. For?

blue said...

"Say #3, why does your face plate fog up when you get close to me?"

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"Channel 3 has pictures of 2 girls kissing, what's on Channel 1?"

Spin said...

"We're all living in Amerika"

Double the U said...

After cutbacks to NASA, working spacesuits and oxygen was one of the first things they cut back on.

Anonymous said...

Number 1: "Dang, I knew I should have pissed more, this Tang is starting to make me orange!"

-Oiao

Anonymous said...

"I asked NASA how to get out of this mess. They did not know. I'm starting to realize that NASA stands for Never A Strait Answer!"


-Oiao

Kaptain Krude said...

No. 3: "Knock knock"
No. 1: "Who's there?"
No. 3: "Orange"
No. 1: "Orange who?"
No. 3: "Knock knock"
No. 1: "Who's there?"
No. 3: "Orange"
No. 1: "Orange who?"
No. 3: "Knock knock"
No. 1: "Who's there?"
No. 3: "Cheap spacesuit."
No. 1: "..? Uh, cheap spacesuit who?"
No. 3: "Orange you glad I didn't say aaaaah! you broke my face plate!"
No. 1: "All the way to Mars for a lousy knock-knock joke."

wv: onoma - heh, even the verification system is against Obama. Onoma - I like it.

dadoctah said...

Intrepid explorers search for signs of life on the planet Beta Carotene.

prince of leaves said...

"Wha-- What IS that? Is that a geisha? Wearing camouflage prints?"

prince of leaves said...

"My God! It's full of tangerines!"

prince of leaves said...

ORA: The sub-miniaturized crew of the Proteus II, injected into an ailing Joe Biden, come to the realization that his cranio-rectal inversion is beyond their abilities to repair.

prince of leaves said...

In the worst example of product placement ever, the remake of "Destination Moon" has the crew traveling to Mars and discovering it is made from Cheetos™.

jj said...

Rosie O'Donnell's rectal exam begins...

Jack Reacher said...

"Survival kit contents check--In them you will find...hold on. It's just an empty cardboard box. What the hell?"

Jack Reacher said...

"Dave, I don't see how this whole space exploration thing is furthering our main mission--Muslim outreach."

Anonymous said...

To fund future space programs NASA like many states thought slot machines would generate the needed revenue.

Vinney

Matt the K said...

"Can't...breathe!!!...Oxygen...replenisher...made...of...card...board!!!"

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

In an effort to make space travel more Muslim-friendly, new NASA suits are equipped with an Automated Chest Harness Mounted Esspresso Dispenser, or ACHMED for short.

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"Dude, I don't know how to tell you, but the doctor said I have orange aids....."

Passionate Conservative said...

This is what happens when you let the University of Texas grads run your space program, Ogabe.

metalgarth said...

Alternate future #2635: After the third global thermo-nuclear war, Chester Cheetah became something of a god like to figure to the survivors.

Rodney Dill said...

Houston... we have a probe.

mpur said...

Too much Tang, not enough Poon.

mpur said...

Can you hear me, Major Tom?

Adriane said...

"My God, Sir! We've found it!!!"
'The alien queen brood chamber?'
"No! the tanning salon that John Kerry and Charlie Crist used."

MissC said...

Sesame Street version of 'Serenity' was brought to you by the numbers 1 and 3.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Eeewwwwww. Now that we know what's behind Door Number 2, I'm not sure I want to play this alien game.

-OR-

I know we're on a tight filming schedule, but shouldn't they finish building the set before we start pretending we're on Planet Tang?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

PLANET of The Apes XII
Uh Oh. I was wondering what we were going to do with these organs when our monkeys ran off. They're back with friends... and it looks like they want to grind our organs!

-OR-

What the hell is Captain Kirk doing here?

Dr. Doom said...

"Well Commander Smith", said Lieutenant Jones, "After seeing the size of that alien probe, I'm glad I don't have the number one on my life support pack"

Anonymous said...

"Look! Theres Waldo!"


-Oiao