1. When Paul Ryan reached the part of the Obama budget dealing with "golden unicorn feces," he knew he would have to propose an alternative.
2. "$34 Million to widen the doors on Air Force One? WTF?"
3. Paul Ryan discovers Obama's FY 2013 Budget is nothing but crude drawings of Barry and M'Chel hopping on a plane with bags of money under voice balloons reading "So Long, Suckers!"
4. MSNBC would later call Paul Ryan a racist for his criticism of a line item in Obama's 2012 budget -- "$11 billion for my homeboys at GE for keeping it real."
5. "And why exactly does Secretary Napolitano need $34 Million for 'Dutch Water Retention Devices?'"
Best of Jack Reacher
"The EPA needs $14 million to clean up after Dawn's head exploded. Sounds reasonable."
Best of metalgarth
$500,000,000 to subsidize manufacturers of pink ties! Nows there's some pork I can get behind
Best of Jay Guevara
"Hey, what's this $20 billion for bail money for the brothers?"
Best of Dactyl
Judging from his expression, this year's centerfold is kinda disappointing.
Best of prince of leaves
"Well, now, these graphs don't look bad, I see the deficit dropping off almost to nothing in the next few...what? Sideways? Oh. Ohhh. Uh-ohhh......."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Obamalama's cutting the middleclass tax burden by 50%! (See footnote 91b)... Assumes middleclass still won't be able to pay so Uncle Sam "will make up the difference in interest and penalties!" Must have been suggested by a banker.
Best of Mr Hankey
Ryan flips to the back and reads "About The Author - Mr Obama was born in (scratched out) and is currently a part time leader of the US when not scheduling world meetings that doesn't interfere with traveling with his family."
Best of GregMan
"$150,000 in printing expenses for a fake Hawaiian birth certificate? Hell, there's a printer in my home town who could do it for half that."
26 comments:
"'Printed in China.' Huh. Whaddya know?"
"You know, now that it's a pop-up book, it's a lot more entertaining."
"So, the cuts are on page 671....'This page intentionally left blank.' Right."
"The EPA needs $14 million to clean up after Dawn's head exploded. Sounds reasonable."
$500,000,000 to subsidize manufacturers of pink ties! Nows there's some pork I can get behind
Mr Ryan shakes his head in disgust after opening the centerfold of the Democrat budget proposal... "$5B for National Proletariat Radio", he thinks to himself, "the unmitigated depravity of it all"...
It might be a comic book, but I ain't laughing.
"Mister President, may I direct your attention to the graph on page 5-25. If you exptrapilate the data, you can clearly see we're f*cked."
Vinney
Sorry Mr President, I dont speak Kenyan. Can someone translate?
"Hey, what's this $20 billion for bail money for the brothers?"
Ryan thought bubble: "Goddamnit, I wish Soros would order Obama not to color in the graphs. Or at least to color within the lines."
"And what's this? $2 million for dropcloths and WWF championship belts? Hell, let Michelle buy her own clothes!"
What's a 5 letter word for "Status of the Nation?" So far I have B - R - don't know - K - don't know...
Judging from his expression, this year's centerfold is kinda disappointing.
By the way, that's my Congressman. You're welcome.
Publishing this on Etch-a-Sketches sure pays dividends. Turn them upside down and all the incriminating evidence disappears!
-OR-
I don't know who authorized the playmate centerfolds in this issue but he's sure got my vote!
-OR-
Heyyyyyyy, disappearing ink??
"'Take everything from everyone and then use it to buy the votes of the indolent, leftists, and union members.' I applaud your conciseness, Mr. President, but I was hoping for a little more detail in your budget plan..."
"Well, now, these graphs don't look bad, I see the deficit dropping off almost to nothing in the next few...what? Sideways? Oh. Ohhh. Uh-ohhh......."
Thawt bubble; "Good, good, saving money by only printing in red..."
v word - chloq - must be the French version of schlock...
Total the expenses, then divide equally by number of taxpayers. Shows my retired grandmother AND my grandkid will both owe a kazillion bucks yet no big bank or corporation will owe anything? Wait... "taxPAYERS"... nevermind.
-OR-
Obamalama's cutting the middleclass tax burden by 50%! (See footnote 91b)... Assumes middleclass still won't be able to pay so Uncle Sam "will make up the difference in interest and penalties!" Must have been suggested by a banker.
Ryan flips to the back and reads "About The Author - Mr Obama was born in (scratched out) and is currently a part time leader of the US when not scheduling world meetings that doesn't interfere with traveling with his family."
"$150,000 in printing expenses for a fake Hawaiian birth certificate? Hell, there's a printer in my home town who could do it for half that."
"See Spot. See Spot run. See Spot take everyone's money and destroy the Amerikkkan economy.
Well, at least they're being honest about it."
According to this here Blue Book, the Trade In value for America is ...
"Wait-a-min-nut...I don't see a provision for my hair gel shipments in here..."
Wow, that Pelosi is really hot.
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