1. When Paul Ryan reached the part of the Obama budget dealing with "golden unicorn feces," he knew he would have to propose an alternative.
2. "$34 Million to widen the doors on Air Force One? WTF?"
3. Paul Ryan discovers Obama's FY 2013 Budget is nothing but crude drawings of Barry and M'Chel hopping on a plane with bags of money under voice balloons reading "So Long, Suckers!"
4. MSNBC would later call Paul Ryan a racist for his criticism of a line item in Obama's 2012 budget -- "$11 billion for my homeboys at GE for keeping it real."
5. "And why exactly does Secretary Napolitano need $34 Million for 'Dutch Water Retention Devices?'"
Best of Jack Reacher
"The EPA needs $14 million to clean up after Dawn's head exploded. Sounds reasonable."
Best of metalgarth
$500,000,000 to subsidize manufacturers of pink ties! Nows there's some pork I can get behind
Best of Jay Guevara
"Hey, what's this $20 billion for bail money for the brothers?"
Best of Dactyl
Judging from his expression, this year's centerfold is kinda disappointing.
Best of prince of leaves
"Well, now, these graphs don't look bad, I see the deficit dropping off almost to nothing in the next few...what? Sideways? Oh. Ohhh. Uh-ohhh......."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Obamalama's cutting the middleclass tax burden by 50%! (See footnote 91b)... Assumes middleclass still won't be able to pay so Uncle Sam "will make up the difference in interest and penalties!" Must have been suggested by a banker.
Best of Mr Hankey
Ryan flips to the back and reads "About The Author - Mr Obama was born in (scratched out) and is currently a part time leader of the US when not scheduling world meetings that doesn't interfere with traveling with his family."
Best of GregMan
"$150,000 in printing expenses for a fake Hawaiian birth certificate? Hell, there's a printer in my home town who could do it for half that."