Friday, April 22, 2011

Somewhere a Circus Is Missing Its Freak Show

2xU

1. Conan finds he just can't get the best guests since switching to basic cable.

2. I'm not sure which Obama policy this could be a metaphor for, because there are oh-so-many possibilities.

3. Repeat Caption 1. Substitute "Howard Stern" for "Conan" and "Satellite Radio" for "basic cable."

4. Worst part about being a kid in the Massachusetts Public Schools: When your teacher shows you slides of her Spring Break in Key West.

5. Ellen DeGenerate held auditions for her entourage this week.

Best of Submariner
When did Danny Devito get confined to a wheel chair?

Best of Adriane
Whether it was Ang Lee's vision for Ben Hur ... or the only way to secure Gavin Newsom's permission to film in SF ... nobody was ever really sure ...

Best of Dr. Doom
This touching scene most likely took place in which of the following? (Choose the best answer):
a. In front of the Reichstag in Berlin ca. 1939
b. Downtown Tehran
c. Outside of the Obama 2012 Campaign HQ in Haight-Ashbury
d. Salt Lake City, Utah

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Despite the unflagging efforts of liberal's to fight job discrimination, retarded handicapped trangendered punk dwarfs complain they still can't get jobs at Wal-Mart or McDonald's.

Best of Spineless Vertebra
"The Midget Goth-Slayer" proved to be FX's undoing.

Best of Army of Dad
Man, Vern Troyer and Justin Beiber have really let themselves go.

Threadwinner Submariner
♪We represent,
the S&M League,
the S&M League,
the S&M League.
And since we represent the S&M Leeeeeeeague;
We wish to f#(k you first in Munchkin Land. ♫

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
squeaky british accent
"Walkies! Walkies!"
ORA B.Woodhouse

Best of mpur
Just thank God it's not a petting zoo.

Best of Double the U
Between his disability check, her job at the coffee shop, and the people that paid to see their fetish videos, the couple did quite well.

30 comments:

Double the U said...

You guys laugh, but she is trained well and will do most anything for a treat.

dub said...

FINALLY!! Something you CAN do with a Prius!!

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
blue said...

Hi, I'm Chia & this is my pet

dadoctah said...

Mind you, if *these* Jehovah's Witnesses showed up at my door early one morning, I might actually be interested in reading some of their pamphlets.

Submariner said...

Nothin' ta be seein' here, folks; jist an Oompah Loompah takin' his Shar Pei fer a roll, er, walk. Please ta be movin' along, now...

Submariner said...

Does this picture best fit in the "Midget Soft Core Pron" or "Bestiality" file? I'm just askin'...

Submariner said...

When did Danny Devito get confined to a wheel chair?

any mouse said...

"Now if we only had a gay Asian cowboy to round out the act...."

Mr Hankey said...

One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running c**t

Spin said...

She may be a dog but don't be callin' her no b*tch.

Spin said...

What a perfectly good waste of "tig ol' bitties"


VW - esseman Even VW agrees.

Adriane said...

Whether it was Ang Lee's vision for Ben Hur ... or the only way to secure Gavin Newsom's permission to film in SF ... nobody was ever really sure ...

Kaptain Krude said...

In 2012, Barack Obama banned all animals from being used as pets due to a worldwide disease. Before someone came up with the idea of using apes as pets, other ideas were floated.

Ang Lee presents, "Return to the Planet of the Apes". In theaters September 2011.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The Greatest Show on Earth??
This is where things devolve when PETA forces Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus to stop using animals.

-OR-

That reminds me, I miss the good old days when my grandfather amazed us by having a Yo-Yo "walk the dog."

-OR-

Conservative zealots boycotted off off Broadway's musical interpretation of animals going two-by-two into an ark.
People seated in the first 3 rows wear plastic sheets during the flood scene.

-OR-

Off off Broadway updated version of the munchkins heading off to see the wizard. You should hear the 2-foot tall Dorothy belt out Over the Rainbow in a squeaky voice!

dadoctah said...

If The Real World Were More Like Anime....

(Actually, no. There's no robots.)

racerboy said...

A Place for every Thing, and every Thing in its Place.

Submariner said...

ORA

Oh yeah, tough guy? Well how do you keep YOUR "Tank Girl" controlled?

Spineless Vertebra said...

This is why you don't poke the belly of the Pillsbury Doughboy.

Dr. Doom said...

This touching scene most likely took place in which of the following? (Choose the best answer):

a. In front of the Reichstag in Berlin ca. 1939
b. Downtown Tehran
c. Outside of the Obama 2012 Campaign HQ in Haight-Ashbury
d. Salt Lake City, Utah

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Ever since the Coneheads left SNL, the show's been swirling right down the toilet.

-OR-

Despite the unflagging efforts of liberal's to fight job discrimination, retarded handicapped trangendered punk dwarfs complain they still can't get jobs at Wal-Mart or McDonald's.

Spineless Vertebra said...

"The Midget Goth-Slayer" proved to be FX's undoing.

Anonymous said...

Dr. Evil is getting a little to kinky for me.

Vinney

Army of Dad said...

Man, Vern Troyer and Justin Beiber have really let themselves go.

Army of Dad said...

Real dykes wear kilts.

Steve O said...

How degrading. That poor disabled dude has to pull that "thing" around with him.

Submariner said...

♪We represent,
the S&M League,
the S&M League,
the S&M League.
And since we represent the S&M Leeeeeeeague;
We wish to f#(k you first in Munchkin Land. ♫

Carpe Phlogiston said...

squeaky british accent
"Walkies! Walkies!"
ORA B.Woodhouse

mpur said...

Just thank God it's not a petting zoo.

Double the U said...

Between his disability check, her job at the coffee shop, and the people that paid to see their fetish videos, the couple did quite well.