Friday, April 08, 2011

Lunch Box


1. Kid: "Thanks for the copy of the Kama Sutra Mr. Safe School Czar."

2. Kid:"So, it's not true that giant, flying viruses have escaped from the lab. That's good to know."

3. Kid:"What a pussy! Watch me slam that whole bottle of Jaegermeister."

4. Man: "Don't worry Billy, it's perfectly normal to get a big purple head while looking at women in bikinis."

5. Kid: "I'm impressed with the literature; I get free video games, trips to Disney World... but I have the feeling there's something you're not telling me about this Love Association you want me to join."

Best of dub
Seriously, Mr Thicke, I dont want to read your dirty limericks.

Best of Double the U
Wow, a coloring book of gladiators, thanks Captain Clarence!

Best of prince of leaves
Where Are They Now? Dondi retired from comics to become a school counselor. With careful management of his residuals and a generous public employee health benefit package, he will soon undergo the restoration surgery he has always craved to create whites for his congenital pinpoint eyes.

Best of Jack Reacher
"Congratulations, Timmy; you're now a registered Democratic voter in Wisconsin."

Best of Matt the K
Simon and Justin's first date: "You had me at 'Record Contract'."

Best of Submariner
Wow, Simon; a ride in your Corvette, a large sized Happy Meal, pictures of Paula Abdul naked, and next an afternoon swimming at your pool? I sure wish there was some way I could repay you!

Best of Spin
My GAWD, it's Tuesday... I lost a whole friggin' weekend!

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Wow, that sure was a big bean burrito, Jerry. Pull my finger again.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

"See how easy it is to change that C to an A, Timmy."

Vinney

GregMan said...

"So, that's what a grown man looks like naked, Timmy."

dub said...

Seriously, Mr Thicke, I dont want to read your dirty limericks.

Double the U said...

Wow, a coloring book of gladiators, thanks Captain Clarence!

prince of leaves said...

Can you tell which is Humble, and which is Hungry? And why?

prince of leaves said...

Where Are They Now? Dondi retired from comics to become a school counselor. With careful management of his residuals and a generous public employee health benefit package, he will soon undergo the restoration surgery he has always craved to create whites for his congenital pinpoint eyes.

Jack Reacher said...

"Congratulations, Timmy; you're now a registered Democratic voter in Wisconsin."

Jack Reacher said...

Just a typical Countrywide mortgage application process.

Matt the K said...

Simon and Justin's first date: "You had me at 'Record Contract'."

Submariner said...

What's this part mean? "All proceeds from vocal representations upon any media, digital or analogue, returns said proceeds to the party of the second part for representing the party of the first part."

It means there will lots of parties, Justin. Just sing at the bottom...

Submariner said...

Wow, Simon; a ride in your Corvette, a large sized Happy Meal, pictures of Paula Abdul naked, and next an afternoon swimming at your pool? I sure wish there was some way I could repay you!

Spin said...

My GAWD, it's Tuesday... I lost a whole friggin' weekend!

dadoctah said...

"Actually, kid, I don't know what you've heard, but it's not the character of Charlie's nephew Jake we're trying to recast...although, come to think of it, that *is* a direction that might work for us!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Wow, that sure was a big bean burrito, Jerry. Pull my finger again.

-OR-

I know I didn't eat the vegetables, Dad. No kid eats the vegetables! Rabbits eat vegetables. Do I look like a rabbit??

JohnS1959 said...

"He thinks we can spend our way to prosperity?", little Billy asked the Special Education Teacher, "Oh- that's a good one Mr. Brown"!