Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Hot Flashes

Brender


1. Art Carlson would later swear to God he thought turkeys could survive being fired out of a cannon.

2. "Now, we'll see if cats always land on their feet."

3. Having long run out of actual myths to bust, Adam and Jamie now just blow sh-t up for the hell of it.

4. "Do you think the smelly hookers will notice we don't have an actual ship?"

5. "Aw, man, I knew I should have cleaned the grease out of the grill before barbecue season."

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
As the honor guard stood with heads bowed, Senator Burffelson blasted another billion dollars into their component atoms.

Best of Submariner
We call it "The Mouth Of Durbin." It draws media attention, it creates a lot of noise, and it accomplishes nothing.

Best of Jack Reacher
Apparently mounting Dawn's head firmly to the ground limited the mess.

Best of Vinneh
A vindictive General Beauregard fumed, "That will teach those damn yankees for leaving a flaming bag of dog poop on my front porch."

Best of Dr. Doom
In other news Presidential Spokesman, Bob "Jolly" Rogers, demonstrates the Obama Administration's new foreign policy campaign entitled, Ready, Fire, Aim,...

Best of dub
Most appropriate Taco Bell advertising ever.

Best of racerboy
Dad's cooking chili for dinner - guess we'd better put the TP in the freezer again...

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
With Obama's cancellation of the space shuttle program, NASA tests new methods for re-supplying the space station.

Best of Whacko
The Lybian rebels are very proud of the new uniforms and up-to-date artillery weapons supplied by the UN.

Best of Dactyl
Civil War reenactments are a common and popular hobby for many Americans. 'Michael Moore Farts' reenactments are not.

Best of Dr. Doom
"If you think that was good", shouted Bob, "Come over here and pull my finger"!

28 comments:

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

As the honor guard stood with heads bowed, Senator Burffelson blasted another billion dollars into their component atoms.

Submariner said...

Not a cap, V, just a thanks for your #1 - one of my favorite WKRP episodes of all time.

Submariner said...

DRUDGEBREAKING:.

Tragedy struck at Gettysburg this morning when the Honorary Field Marshall fired the firsty salvo but was not informed that re-enactors use only powder, not shot.

Developing...

Submariner said...

ORA:

Dick Butkis' family decided to escalate the fued beyond leaves this year...

Submariner said...

I'd heard this occasionally happens when you drop your frozen turkey into oil that's too hot...

Submariner said...

We call it "The Mouth Of Durbin." It draws media attention, it creates a lot of noise, and it accomplishes nothing.

Jack Reacher said...

Apparently mounting Dawn's head firmly to the ground limited the mess.

Jack Reacher said...

That reminds me; pick up a package of Tuck's today.

Anonymous said...

A vindictive General Beauregard fumed, "That will teach those damn yankees for leaving a flaming bag of dog poop on my front porch."

Vinney

Dr. Doom said...

...In other news Presidential Spokesman, Bob "Jolly" Rogers, demonstrates the Obama Administration's new foreign policy campaign entitled, Ready, Fire, Aim,...

metalgarth said...

ORA:
One of the reasons why hardly anyone sits around a campfire with an acoustic guitar singing "For those about to rock, we salute you"

dub said...

Most appropriate Taco Bell advertising ever.

blue said...

gay Asian cowboy: "When you said lets go shoot the cannon I thought you meant...."

jj said...

The obama administration demonstrates the new comprehensive border protection plan. Mexico immediately lodged a complaint with the UN Human Rights Commission.

racerboy said...

Dad's cooking chili for dinner - guess we'd better put the TP in the freezer again...

racerboy said...

Oblig 4/20 ref: Where the hell east of Ann Arbor ar you gonna get a roach clip big enough for that doob?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Andrews AFB (Reuters) - Hillary Clinton takes off on another state department junket using Boeing's new WBDS - Witch's Broom Deployment System.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Rio Grande TX (Reuters) - The real reason deportation of illegals isn't working... we're still sending the bastards home one at a time.

prince of leaves said...

2018: after reality forced Democrats to give in to the necessity of budget austerity, they predictably cut the military budget to the bone. On the bright side, enough money was left to buy both remaining soldiers spiffy retro uniforms.

dadoctah said...

Great moments in marketing: the Quaker cereal people revive and update one of their most popular ad campaigns from the 1950s.

any mouse said...

Senator Fatso tests his method of sending illegals back where they came from

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

With Obama's cancellation of the space shuttle program, NASA tests new methods for re-supplying the space station.

Whacko said...

The Lybian rebels are very proud of the new uniforms and up-to-date artillery weapons supplied by the UN.

Dactyl said...

Civil War reenactments are a common and popular hobby for many Americans. 'Michael Moore Farts' reenactments are not.

[WV: prebran. You should see the farts post-bran!]

Dr. Doom said...

In a case of karma run amok, the Sierra Club demonstration of the environmental destruction caused by military weapons hit and sank a GreenPeace zodiac as it was harassing the fishing fleet offshore...

Dr. Doom said...

"If you think that was good", shouted Bob, "Come over here and pull my finger"!

dadoctah said...

"This week, on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives...."

Rodney Dill said...

Feed a cat enough cans of beans and you can launch anything.