Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Buck Fush



Best of USMC2841
I can't believe we duped the HOA into planting chlamydia at the subdivision entrance.

Best of Mr. Hankey
...and while the bush grew from the fertized decay of his dead wife's remains, Kyle was moved to continue his celebration of their vows by...

...I know I'm sick..

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
When Danny's fungus infection didn't respond to Cruex, the doctor decided to give a spray of Roundup a try.

Best of Matt the K
I've heard of bushwackers, but really???!!!

Best of Dactyl
And this is me *before* my laser hair removal. Boy, was that embarrassing.

Best of Submariner
Fred was confused by the judge granting him "Weekly conjugal visits in the garden."

Threadwinner: mpur
Photographic evidence that white conservatives are actually raping the environment.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Lost episode of Home Improvement
"Hidi ho, good neighbor"
"Oh, hi, Wilson, could you hand me the pruners... and call 911?"

Best of Whacko
Thought balloon on guy in the background: "Just keep on walking. Don't make eye contact. Just stroll on by nice and easy. No noise now. Almost there/"

2. Molesta Floral (Yes, It was an actual business in my hometown) tried to revive business with an edgy new mascot, but, alas, it was too little, too late.

3. One day in the park, Sigmund the Sea Monster met George Michael.

4. Before the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Ghillie suits came in very handy on shore leave.

5. Ron's doctors were baffled how he came down with both herpes *and* Dutch Elm Disease.

37 comments:

Submariner said...

Twenty four hours later, Ricky had some 'splainin' to do over his odd case of poison ivy...

Submariner said...

"As Grandpaw used to say; once in the hand is worth twice in the bush..."

Ricky always was a little slow on the uptake.

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mr. Hankey said...

Push. push. In the bush.

Mr. Hankey said...

...and with the strike of midnight, Cinder-Elm-A went back to being a tree branch.

HLam said...

Gilbert's girlfriend would later lament "There's nothing wrong with a little manscaping, you know."

USMC2841 said...

I can't believe we duped the HOA into planting chlamydia at the subdivision entrance.

Anonymous said...

Harry was into big bushes.

Vinney

metalgarth said...

Little did he suspect that Thursday would be "his day in the bush"

vw: recess

metalgarth said...

I didn't know Andrew Sullivan went to ranger school


vw:havingsk (!!!!!!!!!)

Mr. Hankey said...

...and while the bush grew from the fertized decay of his dead wife's remains, Kyle was moved to continue his celebration of their vows by...

...I know I'm sick..

jj said...

San Francisco's test for the emerald ash borer was a little unconventional.

Spineless Vertebra said...

"Now if I can convince the black guy to get on my back, my wildest dream will have come true."

Spineless Vertebra said...

Anyone else feel some left wingers are taking this "screw Bush" analogy too far?

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

When Danny's fungus infection didn't respond to Cruex, the doctor decided to give a spray of Roundup a try.

Matt the K said...

Not content with just Kurt and Kyle, Tony Stewart f*cks their sister Rosie.

Matt the K said...

I've heard of bushwackers, but really???!!!

Dactyl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dactyl said...

And this is me *before* my laser hair removal. Boy, was that embarrassing.

Adriane said...

Well now, I can't say I'm surprised, with his great'g'pa being Johnny Appleseed and all ...

Anonymous said...

The NEA and most Teachers Unions would be proud to add this to the list of perverted acts they support.

Anonymous said...

Me thinks the dude represents the
white half of the president and the bush represents the once flourishing USA.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

His doggy position demonstration earned Harvey the first Pr0n merit badge at the Boy Scout Jamboree.

-OR-

The bush subsequently filed an assault complaint with campus police.

-OR-

Watering the Bushes... FAIL.

-OR-

Just Stick it IN and Pull it OUT
"Easiest $5 bet I ever won" turned into howls of pain when Rory learned that a thorned Vagina dentata shrub won't let go.

-OR-

Thawtbubble: Uh oh, what's that buzzing noise? AIEEEEEEEEEE!!!

-OR-

In the Hustler version of It's a Wonderful Life George Bailey and Mary Hatch have some fun after the dance as he lassos her moon.

Rodney Dill said...

Sydney wasn't available.

Dr. Doom said...

NEA funded performance art - off Broadway - waaaaay off Broadway...

Submariner said...

"I voted for the Obamessiah; how 'bout you?"

Submariner said...

Driving Miss Daisies.

Submariner said...

Jeremy "took it like a man" when his Castro District instructor saw through his camoflage...

Submariner said...

Fred was confused by the judge granting him "Weekly conjugal visits in the garden."

Submariner said...

Hydrangea? What kind of a sick intercourse do think I am? This is a rhododenron!

mpur said...

Photographic evidence that white conservatives are actually raping the environment.

blue said...

in today's clean shaven era, Billy was confused when tried to duplicate his Grandpa's tales of "getting some bush"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Lost episode of Home Improvement
"Hidi ho, good neighbor"
"Oh, hi, Wilson, could you hand me the pruners... and call 911?"
Tim "Toolman" Taylor superglues his man muscle to a shrub.

Whacko said...

One by hand is worth two in the bush.

Whacko said...

Thought balloon on guy in the background: "Just keep on walking. Don't make eye contact. Just stroll on by nice and easy. No noise now. Almost there/"

Rodney Dill said...

Hmmmmm... I didn't know Euell Gibbons had any children.

Submariner said...

I finally caught that frakkin squirrel what's been gettin' in muh pictures!