Monday, April 11, 2011

Bag Boy (ATDHE)

Sondra K

1. "These are the tightest, scrotum-crushingest, penis-compressionist jeans I ever wore."

2. Mama Robinson's thoughtscreech: "Even for an emo kid he whines a lot. 'I inherited this from Bush' 'I inherited that from Bush' Bitch. Bitch. All the damn time."

3. Mama Robinson: "Oh, yeah... I just remembered. Did we pick up any pipe cleaners?"

4. "Yeah, Barry, you're not whipped. We're just dumping these body parts for Hillary as a favor, mm-hmm."

4. "Ooh... big man. Carrying two whole bags of arugula half a block. Ooh, what a bull you are."

Best of blue
"..and after we serve this freshly chopped raw meat to M'Chel, we'll get you a new dog!!"

Best of JohnS1959
"No Barak", said Mrs. Yee of Yee's China Buffet, "You won't need a teleprompter during your delivery boy pre-employment test - just see if you can find 123 Main St and deliver the food. And this time they have to pay cash - no more government vouchers".

Best of dub
Yo car is dis way Miss Daisy.

Best of prince of leaves
Mama Robinson: "Lessee, it's 1:15 now, and it's an hour drive through traffic back to the White House...that should give us plenty of time to wolf down this tray of mini-bearclaws before that boring health-nazi daughter of mine catches us."

Best of HLam
Paper or Plastic? The man still can't make a decision.

Best of Vinney
"Slow down, slow down. You'll have plenty of time to cruise the gay bath houses with the Emmanuel friend of yours."

Best of GregMan
"No sh1t old woman, you got all this cheese from the gubmint?"

ATDHE

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Man, these Old Navy bags sure do come in handy!"
(Get down, Mr. President, Dawn's head just exploded!)

Best of Adriane
Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?!?

Best of Oiao
"Did we remember the Colt 45 bottles at the counter?"

21 comments:

blue said...

"..and after we serve this freshly chopped raw meat to M'Chel, we'll get you a new dog!!"

JohnS1959 said...

"No Barak", said Mrs. Yee of Yee's China Buffet, "You won't need a teleprompter during your delivery boy pre-employment test - just see if you can find 123 Main St and deliver the food. And this time they have to pay cash - no more government vouchers".

Anonymous said...

Some of the cast of Mummenschanz runs some errands between shows.

Vinney

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Look, stop changing your story! I paid good money to get Hawaii to "find" my birth certificate. Don't you be saying I might have been born during a layover in Thailand!

-OR-

Awwwww, can't I have just one cookie?
No! It'll spoil your appetite for my boiled pigs feet and chitlins pot pie. Stand up straight and look into the camera, wimpy boy.

Mr. Hankey said...

Yo, Adrian. You gonna come to my house & watch me feed the turtles?

dub said...

Yo car is dis way Miss Daisy.

dadoctah said...

Somewhere, Richard Roundtree slowly shakes his head as a single tear runs down his cheek.

prince of leaves said...

Mama Robinson: "Lessee, it's 1:15 now, and it's an hour drive through traffic back to the White House...that should give us plenty of time to wolf down this tray of mini-bearclaws before that boring health-nazi daughter of mine catches us."

prince of leaves said...

Obama thoughtbubble: "Man, I sure hope that dark-winged Angel of Death back there is here for Nanna and not me."

prince of leaves said...

So, Mama Robinson drags her son-in-law (the President of the United States and Leader of the Free World™) to the store to carry her groceries. I'd say the self-importance and narcissism run in the family, except she's M'Chel's mother.

prince of leaves said...

"Und now ist zee time on 'Barackets' venn vee carry groceries!"

Spineless Vertebra said...

Obama thought bubble: If the secret service doesn't do their job soon, I'll hire a hit-man to "eliminate" the rest of my in-laws.

Spineless Vertebra said...

Black jacket, black pants, and black limo. Now to work on that damn white house.

Rodney Dill said...

"You do need to tip my Secret Service detail separately, ya know."

HLam said...

Paper or Plastic? The man still can't make a decision.

Anonymous said...

"Slow down, slow down. You'll have plenty of time to cruise the gay bath houses with the Emmanuel friend of yours."

Vinney

GregMan said...

Unsurprisingly, Obambi wasn't qualified for this job either, as he was distracted by something shiny and stood there staring at it while the ice cream melted.

GregMan said...

"No sh1t old woman, you got all this cheese from the gubmint?"

ATDHE

Kaptain Krude said...

"Man, these Old Navy bags sure do come in handy!"

(Get down, Mr. President, Dawn's head just exploded!)

Adriane said...

Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?!?

Anonymous said...

"Did we remember the Colt 45 bottles at the counter?"

- Oiao