Monday, April 18, 2011

And Then Dawn's Head Exploded Before Anybody even said anything

Al

1. "Save some room for the ribs and watermelon, Mr. President."

2. "Are those collard greens in the bowl or did you barf something up?"

3. "Holy Sh-t, I can see right through his earholes!" thought Sharpton.

4. "Al, this evening will go down a lot smoother if you just accept, right now, that there are a lot of things we won't be telling M'Chel about IYKWIMAITTYD."

5. "Soylent Green is made out of bitter clingers."

Best of Vinneh
"Oh sommelier! Can you recommend a good wine to go with ribs, collared greens,and mac and cheese"?

Best of Double the U
I think I have a case that will work... I will make up a story about Michelle being raped by the entire Republican controlled congress and then assaulted with a gavel. The media will be on our side as usual and Boehner will just start crying as soon as the story breaks. We got them crackers this time.

Best of USMC2841
"How the hell do you eat chicken like that and claim to be half white. Oh, and save some grease for my hair."

Best of dadoctah
"What's the matter, Al? You haven't even touched your arugula."

Best of jj
Hey Barry, why is it that you eat a whole slab of ribs and stay slim, yet M'chelle eats one bone and it goes right to her ass?

Best of Jay Guevara
Sharpton thought bubble: "Now if I could just get me a Colt .45 tallboy to wash this down."

Best of MissC
Obama: "We never had ribs like this in Kenya!"
Sharpton: "That's because it is fried chicken."

Best of prince of leaves
Moments into the last piece of chicken, Obama notices -- too late -- that Sharpton hasn't touched any of his food.

Threadwinner: Jack Reacher
"Is the chicken not fresh, Mr. President? Say the word, and I can have this place burned down."

Best of Submariner
Thawt bubble; "Why in THE hell did I pick Batchelor Number One?"

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Oh sommelier! Can you recommend a good wine to go with ribs, collared greens,and mac and cheese"?

Vinney

Double the U said...

I think I have a case that will work... I will make up a story about Michelle being raped by the entire Republican controlled congress and then assaulted with a gavel. The media will be on our side as usual and Boehner will just start crying as soon as the story breaks. We got them crackers this time.

Anonymous said...

"We never had ribs like this in Kenya."

Vinney

MissC said...

"Damn, Mr. President! There's more in the kitchen. Don't worry, I am keeping an eye out for M'chell. Want me to refresh your sweet tea?"

mpur said...

Oh, crap! Here comes M'chel

blue said...

"You did not order waffles with your chicken - what's the matter with you???? Oh that's right, you are only half black!"

USMC2841 said...

"How the hell do you eat chicken like that and claim to be half white. Oh, and save some grease for my hair."

dadoctah said...

"What's the matter, Al? You haven't even touched your arugula."

jj said...

Hey Barry, why is it that you eat a whole slab of ribs and stay slim, yet M'chelle eats one bone and it goes right to her ass?

Not that I'm looking mind you...

Jay Guevara said...

Sharpton thought bubble: "Damn I hate this crap. I'd really rather have some mayonnaise on white bread."

Jay Guevara said...

Sharpton thought bubble: "Now if I could just get me a Colt .45 tallboy to wash this down."

MissC said...

Obama: "We never had ribs like this in Kenya!"

Sharpton: "That's because it is fried chicken."

prince of leaves said...

Moments into the last piece of chicken, Obama notices -- too late -- that Sharpton hasn't touched any of his food.

Spin said...

What choo talkin' bout fool.
I ain't buyin yo lunch.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

You been hangin round that watermutt too much, O. Dat growling noise is gettin on mah nerves.

-OR-

Of course it's tough to chew. You do know the side order for Quang Lo's #4 platter is a bull pizzle, right?

Anonymous said...

"I axe you. Why we eatin fried chickin here with all this peoples watchin? You know you just a feedin those cracker bible and gun clinging honkeys' opinions of yas!"

-Oiao

"Obie, we could be making way more of that white cracker guilt moneys if you would get out of this cotton pickin chicken place!"

Jack Reacher said...

"Is the chicken not fresh, Mr. President? Say the word, and I can have this place burned down."

Jack Reacher said...

"Keep eating like that and you'll soon be wearing some of my old track suits."

Matt the K said...

King Al patiently awaits a customary 5 bites before getting the "all-clear" from his royal taster.

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

prez; "Hey Al, why do you have water, coffee, & tea?"

Al: "takes a lot to wash down your bullshit Barry!"

blue said...

"Say Barry, wanna get some cowboy hats & play gay Asian?"

Jack Reacher said...

Sharpton thought bubble "Clean and articulate. WTF was Biden thinking?"

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "That boy di'n't learn to clean no chicken leg like that at no Hah-vahd..."

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "It shoulda been MY administration that drove Amerikka into the ditch..."

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "Why in THE hell did I pick Batchelor Number One?"

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "For the good of the nation and the world, I hope he goes on vacation. Soon."

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "Maybe I'll just pay off somebody to 'find' a Kenyan birth certificate, so's we don't have to wait aNOTHER 200+ years before we get a REAL black President."

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"..and just for you Barry, I had that air traffic controller mis-handle M'Chel's flight - too bad the supervisor caught it!"

Kaptain Krude said...

"So, uh, what makes us human?"

"Beats me, Mr. President, just so long as they continue voting Democrat, I don't care."

metalgarth said...

ORA:
"How much for a rib? Really, Barry, why you gotta embarress me like that"