Saturday, March 12, 2011
RetroSoap Saturday: ObamaCare Edition
1. "I guess the surgery was a success. So, can I still call you 'dad' or would you prefer 'my other mom?'"
2."You mean, one of the little bastards lobbed a paper wad so hard it lodged in your skull?"
3. "I was sure that Death Panel would have voted by now, I wonder what the hold up is."
4. "So, what is it this time, mom? Syphilis or heroin withdrawal?"
5. "So, the diagnosis is, you swallowed a fly and perhaps you'll die?"
Best of dadoctah
This week, on a very special Hot In Cleveland, Valerie Bertinelli drops in on Gabrielle Giffords.
Best of Submariner
Jon Edwards was pretty much happy with his surgery results. With the exception of the dry listless hair, of course...
Best of Jack Reacher
"I don't care if he calls you a goddess, Mom, you can not keep partying with Charlie Sheen."
Best of Matt the K
Tonight, on a very special Laverne & Shirley Reunion, Laverne's daughter learns the truth about 'Uncle' Squiggy.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Don't bother pushing that CALL button, Aunt Mae, I coldcocked the nurse on the way in. No hard feelings, but I had today in the death pool, so close your eyes and count to 10.
Best of Submariner
A simple mix up, really, Mrs. Mueller. You're throat will be scratchy for a few days and won't ever have to suffer tonsilitis. And little Shenaynay Washington won't have to worry about Planned Parenthood recommending an abortion.Ever.
See? Everybody wins...
Best of metalgarth
This week on 'House'. An episode just as stupid as the last 2 that have been shown.
Threadwinner: Double the U
It is so nice that Maureen Dowd can visit the one person that think she is a brilliant writer while she is in the hospital.
Best of jimmy
Daughter Lily's thoughtbubble: "Okay, that's $1000 apiece for the corneas; a cool $500k for the heart; probably $300K for each kidney....too bad she's such a lush, or we'd get two mil for the liver. I wonder if anybody would take those sculpted nails?"
Best of GregMan
ORA: "Yeah, Ma, I know my birth certificate says 'Clonus Corporation', so?"
Best of Oiao
"Promise you won't eat the Soylent Green for two weeks after the Death Board pulls the plug."
Best of JohnS1959
"Sue, I have discovered the one good thing about Obamacare", said Sheila, "I don't get put in a double room with those annoying Canadians and their 'I can't wait fifteen months for my transplant' and their 'I can't travel all the way to Calgary for my knee replacement - eh hoser' stories any more"...
Best of Vinney
"When you passed out we got you to the nearest hospital."
"A hospital. What is it"?
"It's a big building with a lot of patients inside, but that's not important right now."
Best of Mr. Hankey
I'm sorry you don't like the giant cochlear implant stuck on the side of your head - but that's what Obama-care paid for...