Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Portrait of the Unionized Public Employee Earning His Salary and Bennies

Van Helsing


1. And then the Taxpayers' Heads Exploded.

2. "Sorry, Ma'am, this is a little out of our expertise. Have you tried calling Greenpeace?"

3. "Poor fella, read his manifesto and got all tuckered out."

4. "Did Mr. Grimmis have any enemies? The Hamburglar? Mayor McCheese? The Fry Guys?"

5. "Oh, you can ignore that. It's just our Scare-dub."

Best of HLam
"We were going to trace a line around that dead body but there's not enough chalk in the cruiser."

Best of Wesley M.
"Seriously, when was the last time five of us cops could stand around some guy splayed out on the ground not have to be afraid of the camera? Cherish the moment, gentlemen. Cherish. The. Moment."

Best of Dr. Doom
Hard day at the public trough, eh buddy?

Best of Adriane
Well I for one, am grateful that he's not European and he's not at the beach ...

Best of Submariner
Killed me Mal; killed me with a salami.

Best of Vinney
"Is anyone here a marine biologist?!"
a la Seinfeld

Best of Oiao
Quick! Someone roll him over and save the little black kid he is crushing!

Best of blue
So, did that Tsunami wash anything up here?

Rodney's Idea, my execution
Oh the huge manatee

Best of dub
And then Dawn's scale exploded.

Best of Matt the K
I for one welcome our bloated, slothful, dirty-footed Overlords.

Best of Submariner
So what's up with Stills, Nash and Young?

44 comments:

HLam said...

"We were going to trace a line around that dead body but there's not enough chalk in the cruiser."

Double the U said...

He is worn out from demanding more money from the greedy fat-cats.

Wesley M. said...

"Seriously, when was the last time five of us cops could stand around some guy splayed out on the ground not have to be afraid of the camera? Cherish the moment, gentlemen. Cherish. The. Moment."

Submariner said...

Since this is NOT an eatery; why was Mr. Moore's "mini-me" here in the first place?

Submariner said...

Would you please inform the FLOTUS that her prop has been delivered?

Submariner said...

Wanna get in on the pool? Guess the number of gallons of oil they get from the carcass, 5 bucks a shot, winner takes all.

Dr. Doom said...

While the protesters were on a union break, the Governor was able to ram through key legislation curtailing liberal excesses in Wisconsin. This is, of course, the very epitome of both karma and irony rolled into one big fat (make that hugely obese) package...

metalgarth said...

"How many union employees does it take to bring me mah bukket"

Dr. Doom said...

Hard day at the public trough, eh buddy?

blue said...

Sorry ma'am, a bloated carcass of a liberal union organizer is not a 911 emergency - just have the unionized garbage men take him out.

Jack Reacher said...

You know a meme has peaked when even this guy goes around shouting "Winning!"

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"...you give him CPR ... no you give him CPR..."

Anonymous said...

Dean Wormer's warning never rang trurer, "Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son."

Vinney

Adriane said...

Well I for one, am grateful that he's not European and he's not at the beach ...

Rodney Dill said...

Having Michael Moore join a sit-down protest in your capitol is never a good thing.

Rodney Dill said...

"I guess 15 Schnitzengruben really was his limit."

Spineless Vertebra said...

"Nothing to see here, folks. It's perfectly normal for officers to pass out from massive donut consumption."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

In this episode of BONES, the desk sergeant claims he notified Green Peace to come push the whale back into the sea... but did he really or was he just busy watching cartoons with the other donuteaters?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Help Eliminate Ennui activist Mortiner Zinp announces he's going on a hunger strike... and then wonders why nobody shows any interest.

-OR-

Rejected Republican Idea for Full Employment - Have unconscious homeless people serve as sandbags during pending floods.

Anonymous said...

He needs help! Quick, someone call GreenPeace"!

Vinney

Submariner said...

Dick Gregory rolled him down the stairs, said "Twinkies! He's all yours..." and then ran the other way laughing.

Submariner said...

Freddy ALWAYS got the lead role when the Madison Players staged a Melville play...

Submariner said...

Killed me Mal; killed me with a salami.

Submariner said...

'Ow to Speak Awstraylyan;
Speedbump

prince of leaves said...

Ironically, Michael Moore joining in spelled the end of the protest, as the union members fled the capitol dome to escape the clouds of rancid-bacon B.O. surrounding him.

prince of leaves said...

Cop: "Union solidarity hell...if Tubby over here lets loose with another sleepy-poot like that, he's spending the night in lockup."

prince of leaves said...

Maddow: "Meanwhile, as protests in Madison enter their fourth week, demonstrators trapped inside the Capitol by Republican dictator Scott Walker are bloated and fainting from malnourishment like starving children in Ethiopia."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Ironically enough, after chubby skank #1 was mugged by chubby skank #2, her first thought was, "There's never a cop around when you need one!"

WordVerify: inglys - If you can't speak inglys, press 1. Otherwise, press Two... and you'll be connected to someone who can't speak inglys.

Anonymous said...

When Rick and The Old Man see Chumlee they're going to be pissed.

Vinney

Matt the K said...

The Department's attempt to illustrate the long term effects of Donut Dependence was met with shear denial.

Matt the K said...

Boy howdy, I tell ya things has really changed in Mayberry...just look how easy Otis Campbell the 3rd has it!

Snowdog said...

Okay guys. Just look nonchalant until the guy with the camera goes away. Then it's fat-paddling time!

Anonymous said...

"Is anyone here a marine biologist?!"

a la Seinfeld

Vinney

Anonymous said...

Quick! Someone roll him over and save the little black kid he is crushing!

-Oiao

blue said...

So, did that Tsunami wash anything up here?

satted said...

Dude....

Wash to feet!

rodney said...

Oh the humanity

Steve O said...

It's okay. He has tenure.

Steve O said...

Some the union supporters were less supported than others.

Steve O said...

All I have to say is, he's asking a LOT of those pants.

dub said...

And then Dawn's scale exploded.

Matt the K said...

I for one welcome our bloated, slothful, dirty-footed Overlords.

dadoctah said...

See? I *told* you jogging was bad for you!

Submariner said...

ORA?

So what's up with Stills, Nash and Young?