Monday, March 07, 2011

Hand Jive

Brender

1. "Whoa, back up sailor. Three ways are an extra $50."

2. "I see Mr. Newsom's head lice have ignited something of a forest fire."

3. "I just wanted you to know, Mr. President, I haven't had a gag reflex since the seventh grade." "Shut up, Newsom. I'm... um... talking to the lady."

4. "Mr. President, when the Teleprompter reads '[jazz hands]' you do this, you don't just play with your crotch."

5. "My apologies, Mr. President, I was just going to update you on the latest turmoil in Libya. By all means, proceed with your golf game."

Best of Double the U
Ok boys, enough with the bending over bowing everyone knows you both are good at it.

Best of blue
"Why Mr President - are you starring at my tits or just looking for your teleprompter??"

Best of jj
Mr. President, he is much better at it than I am. Did you see him with that microphone?

Best of Schteveo
Put that thing away Mr President!! I believed it was bigger than his,no need to show me.

Best of prince of leaves
"In short, sir, we're just not going to be able to hide the truth any longer: none of us in your administration has *any* idea what we're doing."

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
"...Then, as President Calderon descends the stairway, you'll both take three steps back and bow simultaneously as he walks between you..."

Threadwinner: Spineless Vertebra
"Um, Mr. President, talk to the hand is only an expression... and my hand won't actually speak back to you."

Best of Submariner
She: "No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben."
Gavin's thought bubble; "Not MINE Mr. President, not mine..."

18 comments:

Double the U said...

Ok boys, enough with the bending over bowing everyone knows you both are good at it.

blue said...

"Why Mr President - are you starring at my tits or just looking for your teleprompter??"

jj said...

Mr. President, he is much better at it than I am. Did you see him with that microphone?

any mouse said...

"..and after I am reelected and announce that the USA is now under Sharia law you will of course have to have your genitals mutilated."

GregMan said...

"Now hold on, you two, you can't fellate each other right here out in the open, however much you'd like to!"

Jack Reacher said...

"Two socialists enter--one socialist leaves."

Anonymous said...

"I said I saw you on O'Reilly. I didn't say I listened to you."

Vinney

Anonymous said...

"....and then I propose we hijack the prase 'Drill Here, Drill Now', turning it into the rally cry for the defeat of DOMA!"

Obama: "What is D, aah,O,M, um, A again?"

-Oiao

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"Look boys, in private anything goes, but our here in the open I have to keep you two apart!"

Schteveo said...

Put that thing away Mr President!! I believed it was bigger than his,no need to show me.

prince said...

"In short, sir, we're just not going to be able to hide the truth any longer: none of us in your administration has *any* idea what we're doing."

prince of leaves said...

[d'oh, shoulda been prince of leaves on that last one]

Newsome thought bubble: "Yeah, I *could* do her, but she's just not as pretty as me...and a guy's got to have standards."

Dr. Doom said...

"So, apparently in Kenya, this is equivalent to four inches", lamented Rebbecca...

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

"...Then, as President Calderon descends the stairway, you'll both take three steps back and bow simultaneously as he walks between you..."

Spineless Vertebra said...

"Um, Mr. President, talk to the hand is only an expression... and my hand won't actually speak back to you."

Mr Hankey said...

"Okay see...I can say that without crossing any of my fingers. Now your turn..."

Submariner said...

She: "No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben."
Gavin's thought bubble; "Not MINE Mr. President, not mine..."

Adriane said...

Mr. President, you put your right hand in and take your right hand out, AFTER you put on your nitrile gloves and spit mask. This is San Fransisco, you know.