Saturday, March 12, 2011

The Former Ladder


1. "The view of the cheerleaders is way-y-y-y-y-y-y better from up here."

2. "My situation is precarious, but I'm still looking down on everybody else; I must be a Californian."

3. ORA: "First I play with Kobe, then Mommy came, and I play with Mommy. We play Daddy! We had a awfully good time! Now, I want to play with YOU"

4. "The Safe School Czar will never get me up here, especially with his Achilles tendon sliced open."

5. With the entire maintenance staff on strike, Wisconsin elementary schools resort to scab labor.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Uh, Dad, you lied to avoid work, you lazy bum. This OSHA warning label about the top step does NOT exclude kids, so let me down!

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Yep, Mrs. Robinson, that ballast will definitely need to be replaced. Uh, now to broach a delicate subject, but how do you intend to pay for all of this work?"

And then, the bow-chikka-wow-wow music kicked in...

Best of Jack Reacher
"Yeah, I can cut him down. Kinda pointless now, though. I'm just sayin'."

Best of dadoctah
They say something snapped inside Mr Wizard the day he offered "Timmy, let me teach you about gravity".

Best of Submariner
'Twas a nitch job at best, but in these tough economic times, Billy was happy to be the Kotex-changer for the 50 ft woman.

Best of Vinney
"Do you think Selena Gomez would go for a precocious electrician"?

Threadwinnner: Mr Hankey
Little Kyle's new girlfriend Yoko kept telling him to climb a ladder to see her art.

Best of Spin
"Wow, ennui looks a lot different from way up here"

21 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Uh, Dad, you lied to avoid work, you lazy bum. This OSHA warning label about the top step does NOT exclude kids, so let me down!

-OR-

Gee, I hope Miss Timmons wears her shelf bra and corset. I also hope the paint bucket hides my excitement.

-OR-

Different Perspectives
Early picture of a future sports photographer honing observational skills.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Yep, Mrs. Robinson, that ballast will definitely need to be replaced. Uh, now to broach a delicate subject, but how do you intend to pay for all of this work?"

And then, the bow-chikka-wow-wow music kicked in...

Rodney Dill said...

"Dropped the paint... sorry!"

Rodney Dill said...

"Yes I see the elephants ass, but I aint' pullin' out the cork."

Jack Reacher said...

"A couple of kilos in the ceiling, now I just need to call Rico to make the deal."

Jack Reacher said...

"Yeah, I can cut him down. Kinda pointless now, though. I'm just sayin'."

Jack Reacher said...

Timmy's been having this nightmare more often, where he keeps climbing but a sea of red ink rises to engulf him. Timmy reads the Wall Street Journal.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Primordial Ooze, it burns!

-OR-

Wherever pseudoscience pollutes public schools, it keeps bright aspiring youngsters from climbing the evolutionary ladder.

dadoctah said...

They something snapped inside Mr Wizard the day he offered "Timmy, let me teach you about gravity".

dadoctah said...

Getting high in school. Ur doin it rong.

blue said...

Johnny misunderstood why he was called "light in the loafers".

Submariner said...

You will not BELIEVE the view I have of that life-sized Barbie from here!

Submariner said...

'Twas a nitch job at best, but in these tough economic times, Billy was happy to be the Kotex-changer for the 50 ft woman.

Anonymous said...

"Do you think Selena Gomez would go for a precocious electrician"?

Vinney

Dr. Doom said...

"Oops - sorry about that screwdriver Dad", exclaimed Timmy, "Nice catch though - that's using the old noggin"...

Submariner said...

Uh, Ms. Letourneau? You're supposed to be holding the LADDER...

Mr Hankey said...

Little Kyle's new girlfriend Yoko kept telling him to climb a ladder to see her art.

Spin said...

"Wow, ennui looks a lot different from way up here"

Submariner said...

Crap! From this high up it isn't a B-52, it's a freakin U-2...

dadoctah said...

To be fair, Timmy had warned them that he might snap if they mentioned Justin Bieber one more time. And when it happened, there wasn't a bell-tower anywhere on school grounds.

Anonymous said...

Last know photo of Bobby, at the school science fair, where he resoundly presented evidence that Man Made Global Warming and green house gasses were a hoax. Also noted was Ken Salazar's government limo tearing out of the parking lot at about the same time.

-Oiao