Monday, March 21, 2011

Faces of Death




1. "Madame Secretary, how many couches had to die to make that overcoat?"

2. Hillary Clinton does her impression of Monica Lewinsky on her way to the sperm bank.

3. Whenever touched by a man, Hillary reflexively responds with her "spitting cobra face."

4. ORA: Sarkozy couldn't help expecting her head to start malfunctioning and reveal Arnold Schwarzeneggar underneath.

5. Hillary is disappointed to learn that 'the swap' was not Mrs Sarkozy.

Best of blue
"Hillary dear, in France women don't spit they swallow."

Best of Whacko
"So, Mr. Frenchie Frenchman, now that we have been at war with Libya for two days, have you surrendered yet?"

Best of Vinney
"Well, I've never"!
"Maybe, you should."

Best of Spineless Vertebra
Hilary in the process of revealing her true succubus form.

Best of Double the U
Hillary worked a good loogie and then Sarkozy told her there was no French custom of spitting in other people's mouths as a greeting, that the other guest were appalled at her actions.

Best of Submariner
Hillary learns that the phrase she thought meant "I am delighted to be here." actually means "I have three testicles."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Testing the new Hilary inflatable. Squeezing right arm makes bug eyes, left makes tongue stick out with raspberry sounds, push the boobs in and head bulges. Hugs trigger realistic farty sound! Sarkozy's ordering the X-rated model - no frumpy clothes, more features.

Best of Rodney Dill
Messin' with Snatchsquatch.

Best of Dr. Doom
"I agree completely that we can't afford to leave him in power, President Sarkozy", sympathized the Secretary of State, "But he is the duly elected President of the United States and he has two more years in his term"...

Threadwinner: Submariner
Watchu talkin' about, Willis?

Best of Adriane
"Out! OUT! Demons of Stupidity!", shouted the famous, but doomed French exorcist.

Best of Submariner
Then the Hill-Dawg's head turned a 360 and she asked for a crucifix...

43 comments:

jj said...

Sarkozy, "You want a white flag? We have plenty".

blue said...

"Hillary dear, in France women don't spit they swallow."

Whacko said...

"So, Mr. Frenchie Frenchman, now that we have been at war with Libya for two days, have you surrendered yet?"

Anonymous said...

"Well, I've never"!
"Maybe, you should."

Vinney

Anonymous said...

"Get your hands off of me you...you...you...man. There I said it."

Vinney

mpur said...

Sarkozy: "You know, I've always admired your husband."

racerboy said...

"Dammit, I'M the one who does the motorboating around here!!!"

Spineless Vertebra said...

Hilary in the process of revealing her true succubus form.

Double the U said...

Hillary worked a good loogie and then Sarkozy told her there was no French custom of spitting in other people's mouths as a greeting, that the other guest were appalled at her actions.

jimmy said...

Hillary reacts unfavorably to the news that Carla is "showing Bill the sights" while Nick and Hillary talk shop.

Submariner said...

Hillary learns that the phrase she thought meant "I am delighted to be here." actually means "I have three testicles."

Submariner said...

What Tourette's Syndrome looks like in Europe.

Submariner said...

...then she just stood there, pointing at the French leader, sort of half shrieking and half hissing... Anybody have any idea what that meant?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Testing the new Hilary inflatable. Squeezing right arm makes bug eyes, left makes tongue stick out with raspberry sounds, push the boobs in and head bulges. Hugs trigger realistic farty sound! Sarkozy's ordering the X-rated model - no frumpy clothes, more features.

Mr Hankey said...

Hillary almost turns blue as she prepares to finally exhale after holding her breath in Egypt.

Mr Hankey said...

Hillary tries to suck in her gut while she meets the French president.

prince of leaves said...

Much to Hillary's surprise and horror, Sarkozy turns the tables and draws out *her* lifeforce.

Anonymous said...

"Madame Secretary, will you please do that little thing with your touge on my anus this trip?"

-O-i-a-o

Anonymous said...

"Madame Secretary, I have seen the noble monument that America man is making of that Crazy Horse mountain in your profile! You ride a horse too?"

/O/I/A/O

Anonymous said...

"Madame Secretary... I saw how the fish follow you on the lake frozen. You must swim in third world to feed hungry."

,O,A,I,O

Anonymous said...

Sarkosy: "You do not understand the humor, no? Again." "...and the Bartender asks, So, why the long face?"

\O\I\A\O

Anonymous said...

"Madame Secretary, we have lots of rifles for sale...cheap...never fired and only dropped once.."

O I A O

Mork said...

The exact moment when a horrified Hillary Clinton realized the United States would have to go to war with Libya to keep Barack from looking like a major weenie. And he was leaving for Brazil in 15 minutes so she didn't have much time for talking.

JohnS1959 said...

"Yes I definitely agree", said Hillary, "It is a sad state of affairs when the world must look to France for leadership in a crisis but the truth is we're fresh out"

JohnS1959 said...

"Thank you for leaving Carla at home, Nicolas", said the Secretary of State, "I don't want any of pictures of us climbing stairs next to each other landing on those holier than thou right-wing Christian sites like they did with Michelle"...

JohnS1959 said...

"No President Sarkozy", replied Ms. Clinton, "I don't think we will lose to Libya even with Mr. Obama in the game but rest assured - if we need to surrender, we will obviously turn to the experts make that happen".

Matt the K said...

No, I do NOT want to hear about Monsieur Ron Paul.

Submariner said...

Stepford Wives remake: EPIC FAIL

Rodney Dill said...

Messin' with Snatchsquatch.

Dr. Doom said...

"I agree completely that we can't afford to leave him in power, President Sarkozy", sympathized the Secretary of State, "But he is the duly elected President of the United States and he has two more years in his term"...

Submariner said...

Watchu talkin' about, Willis?

Rodney Dill said...

"That's kookie talk!"

Dr. Doom said...

"No I do not speak the language of love", hissed Hillary.

Dr. Doom said...

"I did not know that komodo dragons could suffer from lycanthropy", sympathized Mr. Sarkozy, "lets get you out of the sun then".

Submariner said...

Rodney Dill said...
"That's kookie talk!"


If it'd a been M'Chel, that would have been "That's Wookie talk!"

molson said...

Is that a baguette in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Submariner said...

Sank you Madame Secretairee for uzing your snitch on owair snuke...

Adriane said...

"Out! OUT! Demons of Stupidity!", shouted the famous, but doomed French exorcist.

Submariner said...

Then the Hill-Dawg's head turned a 360 and she asked for a crucifix...

Dactyl said...

Hillary was terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought, and so was unable to warn Sark that the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man was right behind him, and doing things to the Eiffel Tower.

Submariner said...

It took a while, but once you angered The Mighty Joe Young, a butt-whoopin' was sure to follow.

Submariner said...

Your gun? It only make Mongo mad...

Submariner said...

DILLIGAFF, Sarkozy?