Saturday, February 26, 2011

Young Boy With Coupon

The weird part is, I found this while looking for a Thursday Babe post


1. Billy thought everything was going great right up to the moment Wilfred Brimley clocked him.

2. "It's from Barney Frank telling me I've won the 'Prettiest Boy' Competition. I get my prize at a Rest Area on I-95 outside Boston next Friday at midnight."

3. "It's from the Safe School Czar, and it's redeemable for a Free 'Clothing Optional' hug."

4. "It's an excuse note from a Wisconsin 'doctor.'"

5. "Not only did the school nurse give me condoms, she gave me a coupon good for 10% off my first abortion at Planned Parenthood."

Best of Wesley M.
After receiving this gift certificate in recognition of his stellar self-esteem, Nelson thought life would be smooth sailing until the cashier shoved it back at him and said, "It's called an expiration date. Can't you read?"

Best of dadoctah
"Okay, so I don't get the VIP tour of the Willy Wonka factory, but this ain't bad."

Best of Oiao
"I'm going to go eat this entire free pizza, and Michell can kiss my Cracker ass!"

Best of jj
Jake Harper's birthday...

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
"Hey Mom!!! I'm a registered democrat and the teacher sez that she will do my voting for me!!!

Best of metalgarth
Bobby Hill approved of the grand prize his mother won as substitute teacher of the year.

Best of dub
Standing behind Timmy is Coach Carl, with the longest left arm known to man.

Best of Julie the Jarhead
Cynthia Nixon's girlfriend strikes out on her own.

Best of JohnS1959
University of Miami recruiting scandals are becoming more mundane every day...

23 comments:

Double the U said...

It is the standard public school award for "trying", everyone gets one.

blue said...

Does M'Chel know that this school is giving out coupons for free burgers & drinks at Sonic????

WV: jamburger
really !!!!

Jack Reacher said...

"It's a Nobel Peace Prize! The certificates are smaller these days 'cause they give out so many."

wv: spitt--see the Barney Frank reference above.

Wesley M. said...

After receiving this gift certificate in recognition of his stellar self-esteem, Nelson thought life would be smooth sailing until the cashier shoved it back at him and said, "It's called an expiration date. Can't you read?"

Dr. Doom said...

Hmmm... a perfect metaphor for the Obamacare exemptions being passed out by the administration like candy on Halloween...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Grade Inflation in Action
Hey, Mom! Hey Dad!! Principal Harris gave me my diploma early and says middle school's a lot easier than the 3 years I've spent in 6th grade.

dadoctah said...

"Okay, so I don't get the VIP tour of the Willy Wonka factor, but this ain't bad."

Anonymous said...

"I'm going to go eat this entire free pizza, and Michell can kiss my Cracker ass!"

-Oiao

jj said...

Jake Harper's birthday...

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"Hey Mom!!! I'm a registered democrat and the teacher sez that she will do my voting for me!!!

Anonymous said...

"Looks like I finally got my ticket out of this chicken shit organization."

Vinney

dadoctah said...

Nutritional questions aside, as fast-food places go Sonic does have some pretty awesome drinks.

blue said...

"Oh Boy Oh Boy!!! Front row center at the Oscars!!!"

metalgarth said...

Bobby Hill approved of the grand prize his mother won as substitute teacher of the year.

Rodney Dill said...

It rubs the lotion on its skin....

blue said...

"with this union card, I never have to work a day in my life"

dub said...

Standing behind Timmy is Coach Carl, with the longest left arm known to man.

jj said...

What Mary Kay Letourneau gives out to buy silence.

Mr. Hankey said...

At first thinking that the teacher's union was able to negotiate Sonic coupons on their behalf - Prinicipal Zamoyski soon realizes that these were the same ones that homeless guy left in the front office.

Mr. Hankey said...

U of Miami diplomas

Anonymous said...

As class president young Bill Clinton accepts his first bribe.

Vinney

Julie the Jarhead said...

Cynthia Nixon's girlfriend strikes out on her own.

JohnS1959 said...

University of Miami recruiting scandals are becoming more mundane every day...