1. Even the young girls were surprised when Obama fell for the "pull my finger" gag three times simultaneously.
2. "And that, Mr. President, is a hole in the ground. Now, do you understand the difference, or do we need to explain it again?"
3. "The needle's right there, Mr. President. We told you none of us stole your smack."
4. "Thank you for attending our 4-H Science Fair Mr. President, but shouldn't you be back in the f--king White House dealing with f--king Libya, Somalia, the deficit, the Mexican drug war, or Iran? Actually, on second thought, maybe you need to attend more science fairs."
5. "Guess the fat girl's weight and you can have anything on the bottom shelf."
Best of Julie the Jarhead
Thought bubble of girl in blue plaid: "I missed a 'Tipping the Velvet' viewing party for this???"
Best of dub
Then after you advance the Automatic Gerbilator, you push that button to begin the insertion. Afterwards, Mr. Gere pays you $20.
Best of Jack Reacher
"Twenty-three red, the gentleman loses."
Best of dadoctah
Aiieee! Teeny little Gojira!!!
Best of GregMan
"No you idiot, that's Shinola!"
Best of Vinney
"OK kids. Foosball at the Science Fair. Coolllll."
Best of Jay Guevara
"There! He's not anti-American, like we are! Get him!"
"Don't worry, kids, I'm on it."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Obamalama outsourced intelligence gathering to myspace tweenies, and 4 billion dollars later, they've pinpointed where Justin Bieber will be when he grabs his crotch again.
Best of Whacko
"Oops! I guess we broke your teleprompter, Mr. President. Why aren't you saying anything, Mr. President? Mr. President?"
Best of molson
... and that's how you balance a budget Mr. President.
Best of Wesley M.
After seeing this non-working model of their green perpetual-motion high-speed rail engine, President Obama assured the sisters of Phi Delta Mu that their second round of Stimulus funding was in the bag...
Best of Dr. Doom
"Yes Mr. President", said the students in unison, "The Safe Schools Czar is in the 'special room' under the floor with Jamal, Suzy, and the NEA Shop Steward"...
26 comments:
Thought bubble of girl in blue plaid: "I missed a 'Tipping the Velvet' viewing party for this???"
Then after you advance the Automatic Gerbilator, you push that button to begin the insertion. Afterwards, Mr. Gere pays you $20.
"Twenty-three red, the gentleman loses."
"So forty-seven dollars worth of materials can produce 1/10 of a penny's worth of electricity a day. It breaks down after a month. Is that math getting through, Mr. President?"
"...and with our erector set, you can build something to satisfy your wife!"
"In answer to your question, Mr. President, yes we should be in school. However, our teachers are laying siege to the state Capitol. So here we are."
Aiieee! Teeny little Gojira!!!
"There is the U.S. economy, Mr. President, all the way down there!"
"No you idiot, that's Shinola!"
"OK kids. Foosball at the Science Fair. Coolllll."
Vinney
"There! He's not anti-American, like we are! Get him!"
"Don't worry, kids, I'm on it."
Obamalama outsourced intelligence gathering to myspace tweenies, and 4 billion dollars later, they've pinpointed where Justin Bieber will be when he grabs his crotch again.
-OR-
"EEEK! There it goes!"
If the science fair exhibit taught Obamalama one thing, it's that girls can't build a better mousetrap.
Your poll numbers are there Mr. precedent,right below your wife's.
Obama Thought Bubble, considering his Cus Jr. Community Organizer in Oak Park: "Have to throw the brother some love. Nothing to be made on the future dyke in the plad. But, my bro can get choice $$ for the other two white hos. I'll get the Secret Service right on arranging that."
Oiao
We modeled our Do-It-Yourself Swine Flu Vaccination Station after the TARP bailout.
Vaccine is stockpiled in that fat yellow bottle (aka Wall St. Banker), some drips into the Staff Bonus pockets and Payola barrels, and a tiny drop reaches the People's Hypodermic.
We can demonstrate if you'll turn around, drop trow and back up right there. It worked fine on Kermit.
"Oops! I guess we broke your teleprompter, Mr. President. Why aren't you saying anything, Mr. President? Mr. President?"
... and that's how you balance a budget Mr. President.
"Look Mr President, there's your birth certificate!!!"
Girls, all in unison: "Hey, is that a birth certificate on the floor?"
And, of course....
"Look, Jimmy Hoffa!"
-Oiao
After seeing this non-working model of their green perpetual-motion high-speed rail engine, President Obama assured the sisters of Phi Delta Mu that their second round of Stimulus funding was in the bag...
"Yes Mr. President", said the students in unison, "The Safe Schools Czar is in the 'special room' under the floor with Jamal, Suzy, and the NEA Shop Steward"...
All girls in unison, "See Mr. President, the Trojan Finger Vibrator really only works for women".
"Where's the on switch again?"
220, 221, whatever it takes....
"Yes sir, thanks to your economic leadership we are all destined to live life as menial floor sweepers followed by retirement positions as Wal-Mart greeters", said the girls while pointing into their future".
jj said...
All girls in unison, "See Mr. President, the Trojan Finger Vibrator really only works for women".
...and Justin Bieber, of course...
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