Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine's Day Nightmare Fuel

Van Helsing

Have at it, boyos! In the meantime, various members of the Obama Administration recall how they met their true loves:

"I first saw the love of my life on a warm spring day. He was wearing shorts that showed off his cute little butt just so. I asked him to lunch, I remember it so well, it was sloppy joe day. I remember he wowed me with his knowledge of Pokemon and told me I wasn't like the other adults. I asked him how he would like to help me demonstrate fisting at the GLSEN conference. He asked me what that meant and when I told him, the little bastard kicked me right in the nuts." --- Safe School Czar, Kevin Jennings.

"I was riding my Harley to an Indigo Girls concert and *she* pulled up next to me. And I said, 'Lookin' Good, Madame Secretary.' And she said, 'Right back atcha, Justice Kagan.' She was so embarrassed when I told her I was 'the other one.' But we had a good laugh, and later went back to my place to drink wine cut the crotches out of pictures of men." --- DHS Secretary, Janet Napolitano.

"I haven't been able to meet my twoo love yet because Justin Bieber's security detail --- much like his cute little butt --- is just too tight." - Congressman Barney Frank, D-Mass


Best of Matt the K
Latoya Jackson and Gary Busey make this season's "Apprentice" a Must-Watch.

Best of Jack Reacher
Whitney Houston and Harry Anderson have sure let themselves go.

Best of Adriane
Ahh, the good, old days ... I just love looking at all the pictures in Parent1 and Parent2's photo album.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Giuliani should have at least won the republican nomination before choosing a running mate.

Matt the K said...

Latoya Jackson and Gary Busey make this season's "Apprentice" a Must-Watch.

blue said...

green & blue???
I thought gay boys had fashion sense...

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

damn, now reading is required for this site???????

Anonymous said...

hey girls...in California gay marriage is still illegal

metalgarth said...

And you thought Superbowl Halftime Shows *couldn't* get worse!

Jack Reacher said...

Whitney Houston and Harry Anderson have sure let themselves go.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Following his TSR operation, Jerry Springer will launch a new tv show called "Zany Marriage Combos" in support of anything goes marriage laws. To start things off (and to win a bet with Maury Povich), he's marrying Shaquiqua, a waitress at a nearby Hooters.

-OR-

The Valentine edition of Bachelorette features an awkward moment when Melba "Helium Blimps" Toast first meets the only guy willing to adopt those boobs... Irving "The Hormones Haven't Kicked In Yet" Finster.

-OR-

A match made in liberal heaven? Quick, get out your morphing software and see what their kid will look like - square jaw, double chins and the udders of an unmilked guernsey.

WordVerify: likers - it's highly doubtful there's enough likers in the world to make them look attractive through my beer goggles.

metalgarth said...

maybe it's "just another day in Fruitport"

molson said...

I threw up in my mouth a little. The rest came out my nose.

Adriane said...

Ahh, the good, old days ... I just love looking at all the pictures in Parent1 and Parent2's photo album.

jj said...

Archived photos after Chappaquiddick...the Kennedy family's secret plan to keep Ted from driving anyone else home...

racerboy said...

"That's a MAN, baby!"

Submariner said...

Call me crazy, but isn't the one in lavender John Kerry?



v word - poomp - I rest my case.

Dactyl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dactyl said...

Some say the clashing colors and Tony-Robbins-in-drag vibe of this photo presage an Army of Mom sighting...

Dr. Doom said...

A match made in... San Francisco...

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"...and we'll honeymoon at the Daytona 500!"