Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Tastes Like Children

Van Helsing


1. Bear Thought Bubble: "Hm, the baby seals are pinker than usual."

2. Yeah, this field trip won't be happening again next year.

3. Sea World announced today the cancellation of its "Polar Bear Encounter" attraction and announced that, henceforth, hippie environmentalists would not be allowed to design their attractions.

4. Who knew that Timothy Treadwell fathered children?

5. Fittingly, the gene pool is about to receive some much needed chlorination.

Best of Submariner
Hey, Hey, HEY!
I don't swim in your toilet, kid. Don't pee in my pool.

Best of jj
Polar bear thought bubble, "Now where did I put that BBQ sauce?"

Best of Rodney Dill
The outlook for bi-polar children is not very good.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Marco"
"Polar"

Best of Oiao
Polar Bear's Response: "I ate him."
White kid's question: "What happened to the black kid that was hanging on your back?"

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
"Why I bet that these little tidbits are Bieberlicious!"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Igor the Futurist predicts -
a) shyster ACLU lawyer will sue zoo, city govt, water company and the polar bear... and win.
b) parents and/or grandparents and/or school will be pilloried for not keeping precocious kids on a leash.
c) huge pile of flowers and other memorabilia will form at entrance to polar bear exhibit.
d) several dumbass college dudes will sneak in after hours to try their luck swimming with bears.

Best of Vinney
"Screw the North Pole! This Miami life is for me. You know where I can get some fava beans and a nice Chianti"?

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Hey hey, kid, that better be a Snickers bar!"

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Hey, do you mind? There's no woods around here! Now beat it, kids!"

Best of dadoctah
The Coca-Cola commercial that didn't make it to air.

Best of Dactyl
Huh. Looks like they have global warming in Narnia too.

Best of molson
The kids. It's what's for dinner.

Best of BigBren1650
Msnbc has confirmed a rare sighting of Pedobear's distant cousin, Pedopolar.

30 comments:

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "hmmmm... Do I want toddlers with good taste or toddlers that taste good?"

Submariner said...

Happiness is having your dinner swim to you...


v word -serenity - I shat you not.

Submariner said...

Pat the Polar Bear loved bobbing for snacks at his birthday parties...

Submariner said...

hey, Hey, HEY!
I don't swim in your toilet, kid. Don't pee in my pool.

JohnS1959 said...

Due to the ravages of global warming, polar bears have been forced to adapt to survive. This particular bear has adapted by moving its hunting grounds to Algore's backyard swimming pool.

blue said...

"a..and after we capture it, we'll keep it in the swimming pool and feed it baby seals!!"

jj said...

Polar bear thought bubble, "Now where did I put that BBQ sauce?"

Rodney Dill said...

The outlook for bi-polar children is not very good.

Rodney Dill said...

Girl to brother: "I don't have to outswim the bear, I just havta outswim you."

Rodney Dill said...

"Marco"
"Polar"

Rodney Dill said...

I told the Doctor I was bi-polar, he said, "move away from 'im."

Oiao said...

Bear Thought Bubble: "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe!" 'Chomp', 'Chomp'! Polar Bears are not know for patience....

Oiao said...

He who blinks first, gets the first bite!

Oiao said...

Polar Bear's Response: "I ate him."

White kid's question: "What happened to the black kid that was hanging on your back?"

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"Why I bet that these little tidbits are Bieberlicious!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Igor the Futurist predicts -
a) shyster ACLU lawyer will sue zoo, city govt, water company and the polar bear... and win.
b) parents and/or grandparents and/or school will be pilloried for not keeping precocious kids on a leash.
c) huge pile of flowers and other memorabilia will form at entrance to polar bear exhibit.
d) several dumbass college dudes will sneak in after hours to try their luck swimming with bears.

-OR-

Margie, I thought we were supposed to play dead?
Shush, I think I'm winning this staring contest... but I really need to blink!

-OR-

Reading is FUNdamental
Uhm, Andy, I don't think the sign said, "Swim with the Dolphins."

-OR-

Bear Thawtbubble: Oh goody, I've always wanted to play Loch Ness Monster!

Anonymous said...

"Screw the North Pole! This Miami life is for me. You know where I can get some fava beans and a nice Chianti"?

Vinney

Oiao said...

Polar Bear Thought Bubble: "I wonder how they will fill going out the other end?"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Hey hey, kid, that better be a Snickers bar!"

Kaptain Krude said...

"My, what big teeth you have!"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Hey, do you mind? There's no woods around here! Now beat it, kids!"

dadoctah said...

The Coca-Cola commercial that didn't make it to air.

dadoctah said...

"At last, Bindi Irwin, we meet face to face!"

Submariner said...

No, honey, take off the suit. I'm lookin for the BARE necessities...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Teaparty nitwits run a campaign commercial co-opting the Davy Crockett song- "killed her a b'ar when she was only three."

-OR-

Dramatic Recreation: Sarah's hated polar bears ever since one ate her friend the day they tried to walk to Russia on some thin ice.

-OR-

Don't worry, Sam, I saw something similar on CaptionThis. It's inflatable. Just swim over, grab hold and ride it!

-OR-

When asked for some Charmin, a young Elaine Benes first utters the phrase, "I just don't have a square to spare!"

WordVerify: aisholi - another way to describe crazy iranian clerics... e.g., "he's a real aisholi"

Dactyl said...

Huh. Looks like they have global warming in Narnia too.

metalgarth said...

Super ORA That only Matt the K. and really dedicated Early 1990's SNL fans will get:

The Nude House of Wet People!

molson said...

The kids. It's what's for dinner.

BigBren1650 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BigBren1650 said...

Msnbc has confirmed a rare sighting of Pedobear's distant cousin, Pedopolar.