1. "Yeah, baby! This'll keep those kids off my lawn."
2. ORA: "Say 'What?' Again, Motherf-cker!"
3. And by eliminating Harry Reid in "Sudden Death," Phyllis Schlafly wins the CPAC Granny Clampett Lookalike Contest.
4. Phyllis Schlafly demonstrates Rule #4, the double-tap, on Newt Gingrich, who was turning into a zombie.
5. "You make the crosshairs, Sarah. I'll do the rest!" (And then Nancy Pelosi's head exploded... but not for the usual reasons.)
Best of Rodney Dill
Where do the D-Cell's go?
Best of Vinney
"Jed"!!!
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Gloria Steinem's here? Where? I promise, I'll only wing her!
Best of metalgarth
Army of Great Grandma took no guff from the younger generation
Best of blue
Tell my grandson in the white dress that I want to see him now!!
Best of Double the U
Settle down Mildred, Berniece did not cheat in Bingo.
Best of Matt the K
Whoa, hey, take it easy Mrs. C.!! Joanie's still... *intact*.
Best of prince of leaves
2037: an aged and impoverished Courtney Love is forced to auction off the last of Curt Cobain's belongings.
Best of dadoctah
"Take cover! Martha Stewart's finally snapped!"
Best of Submariner
I'll bet you like this dress now, DON'T you Mr. Blackwell? And you're gonna run a retraction to your previous comments, right?
25 comments:
Where do the D-Cell's go?
"Jed"!!!
Vinney
Git off a my land.
Betty White wannabe.
-OR-
Thawtbubble: Liberals can't accept that as they age, idealism fades and they'll become more conservative... but hot damn, if they'd just hold this for a second, they'd feel real empowerment!
-OR-
You love the ERA? Unless you mean earned run averages, buddy, I'm gonna blow a new hole in your head.
-OR-
Gloria Steinem's here? Where? I promise, I'll only wing her!
-OR-
Well sure, even I'd have been less fearful of unisex public bathrooms if the damned state and local nazis woulda let me carry concealed.
Army of Great Grandma took no guff from the younger generation
"Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!"
Tell my grandson in the white dress that I want to see him now!!
Settle down Mildred, Berniece did not cheat in Bingo.
Whoa, hey, take it easy Mrs. C.!! Joanie's still... *intact*.
"Everything Dickie learnt 'bout hunting, he learnt from me!" Ma Chaney declared with pride, just before accidentally peppering Mitt Romney with birdshot.
2037: an aged and impoverished Courtney Love is forced to auction off the last of Curt Cobain's belongings.
"Oh my," Schlafly bubbled, "this is just like the ones we used to fight off the Redcoats!"
Wow, Charlton Heston sure has let himself...I don't know what.
A grin born of hand rubbed walnut and cold steel.
Debbie's smiling and waving her gun
Picking off cheerleaders one by one
Oh Buffie's pompom just blew to bits
Oh no, Mitzie's head just did the splits
God, my best friend's on a shooting spree
Stop it, Debbie, you're embarrassing me
How could you do what you just did
Are you having a really bad period
Look out! The homecoming queen's got a gun!
"Take cover! Martha Stewart's finally snapped!"
No one was ever really sure if Ang Lee was remaking 'Miss Congeniality' or 'Bonnie and Clyde', but whatever the case, none of them dared be the first to stop clapping.
OK, I'm ready for the interview. Show Ms. Couric in...
Must be one of those "clingy" mid-westerners the President warned us about...
I believe that "gun control" is being able to hit what you're aiming at, Mr. Barker.
"Annie?"
Sorry, I thought you said the show was "Grannie Get Your Gun." My bad.
DRUDGEBREAKING:
Secretary Gates announced a new strategy in Afghanistan. All US troops are to be replaced by 5000 armed, menopausal women beginning in late Feb 2011.
Hostilities are projected to end in less time than it took to take down those Iraqi Hussein boys...
Developing...
I'll bet you like this dress now, DON'T you Mr. Blackwell? And you're gonna run a retraction to your previous comments, right?
Whoa, hey, take it easy Mrs. C.!! Joanie's still... *intact*.
Can I nominate this as a Threadwinner?
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