1. "... and Border Patrols should be light and variable all along the Rio Grande."
2. Is it just me, or could most of the words on the map be synonyms for 'breasts.'
3. Comcast's first ownership act was to outsource the Weather Channel. Forecasts were less accurate, but a lot cheaper.
4. Not temperatures, but the amount of cocaine, in kilotons, being shipped from each location to Charlie Sheen's house.
5. "Cut! Get a stagehand in there to even up her breasts before she unbalances."
Best of Vinney
Just last week she was filing folders in an office.
Best of Jack Reacher
"As you can see, muchachas, Bieber got very few votes from these cities. We shall burn them."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
On Tijuana Weather, the map shows how many citizens were killed by drug cartels today. Gives a better sense of how hot it is in your town. After a commercial break, she'll remove her skirt and whack a piñata full of 7-day forecasts.
Best of dadoctah
I look forward to the first time they send her out to the beach to report live when the hurricane makes landfall.
Best of molson
Today will be sunny with an elevated risk of boners.
Best of Dr. Doom
"We have a large warm front", related Maria Conchita Teresa Adelita Chiquta Gomez, "And the weather will be hot too"...
Best of Julie the Jarhead
I've heard of people giving pet names to their private parts -- though I would have chosen something a little more imaginative than 'Victoria'.