Monday, February 21, 2011

The Klingon Children

Sondra K

1. "And later, M'Chel's takin' us to Planned Parenthood to get tutored!"

2. By strange coincidence, "Mm, No" is most men's response when asked if the FLOTUS is "doable."

3. "M is for M'Chel... we even drew you a picture." ATDHE.

4. I'm not about to tell a union thug how to run her school, but I think the "National Government" caption would work better under either the monkey or octopus picture.

5. "Later, the Safe School Czar is going to illustrate the letter 'P' for us, but first, little DeShawn here is going to have to put on the gimp suit."

Best of Jack Reacher
"I'm filling in today because your teacher is in Madison, working to perfect a dictatorship of the proletariat. Hey, hey! That's not for publication, you!"

Best of Double the U
Alright... off to the slaughterhouse for you two little heads of cattle.

Best of Submariner
FLOTUS; "Today's lesson is wealth redistribution. Cowboy Carl represents the evil, rich, Republicans who take everything from honest people. Shanene is a poor but good Democrat welfare recipient. Carl; give everything in your basket to Shanene. You can keep the receipt.

Any questions class?"

Best of Rodney Dill
Kid on Right: "...but I'm a cowboy, I can be your little Woody."
Michelle: "Sorry... Barry already has that job."

Best of dub
And in here, Mrs Obama, is the room where we package the crack and load it into baskets for distribution.

Best of jimmy
"Class, this is Mrs. Obama. Yes, she's the one who took away your lunchtime french-fries and gave you celery sticks instead. But just for today---ribs for everybody!"

*yay!!!*

Best of Vinney
On the next Maury it's a very special "Who's the Daddy?".

Best of prince of leaves
Travis' days as a Secret Service bodyguard were numbered when his compulsive fascination with mirrors and other shiny objects came to light.

Best of JohnS1959
"Yes ma'am", related Jamal, "we have been learning about reading and writing, and of course the repeated failure of Keynesian economics - pretty simple stuff really it is a wonder why some people don't get it".

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
" nuq wa' 'oH QaQ Daq Sop"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Conservative zealots are demanding that the school remove the Oo and use a less obscene example than an octoPUSSY.

Best of jj
Secret Service Agent's thought bubble, "I wish to hell I didn't have to carry these ribs in my pocket. The sauce is ruining my jacket and dogs follow me eveywhere."

31 comments:

dadoctah said...

ObEqualTime: If the GOP has their way, we'll be closing this place down to make room for a tech support call center. Any chance we can get those alphabet signs done up in Hindi?

Rodney Dill said...

Cowboy on Right: "Gee... you think I could be President someday?"
Michelle; "Why? Were y'all born in Kenya?"

Jack Reacher said...

"I'm filling in today because your teacher is in Madison, working to perfect a dictatorship of the proletariat. Hey, hey! That's not for publication, you!"

Double the U said...

Alright... off to the slaughterhouse for you two little heads of cattle.

blue said...

"..and I'm sure you kids will enjoy the gov't sponsored filed trip to Sharia Land...first kid to get his hand cut off wins a big prize!"

blue said...

Ms M'Chel, please tell us again how you and Barry Hussein met....well kids, I answered an ad to be one of his 72 virgins!"


WV: sicko
really!!!!!

Submariner said...

Cowboy Hakeem; "How much is this vacation soaking the tax payer, Mrs. The President?"

Submariner said...

FLOTUS; "Today's lesson is wealth redistribution. Cowboy Carl represents the evil, rich, Republicans who take everything from honest people. Shanene is a poor but good Democrat welfare recipient. Carl; give everything in your basket to Shanene. You can keep the receipt.

Any questions class?"

Rodney Dill said...

Kid on Right: "...but I'm a cowboy, I can be your little Woody."
Michelle: "Sorry... Barry already has that job."

dub said...

Combined credit score in the classroom... 125.

dub said...

And in here, Mrs Obama, is the room where we package the crack and load it into baskets for distribution.

dub said...

Yo, M'chelle, how's 'bout choo redistribute some dat watermelon bubble gum in this d'rections.

jimmy said...

"Class, this is Mrs. Obama. Yes, she's the one who took away your lunchtime french-fries and gave you celery sticks instead. But just for today---ribs for everybody!"

*yay!!!*

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"Are these children my lunch?"

Anonymous said...

On the next Maury it's a very special "Who's the Daddy?".

Vinney

prince of leaves said...

Taking a cue from her husband's handling of Birthers, Mrs. Obama baits her detractors into calling her a "Klingon" by actually dressing as one.

prince of leaves said...

Travis' days as a Secret Service bodyguard were numbered when his compulsive fascination with mirrors and other shiny objects came to light.

prince of leaves said...

Teacher: "So here's our big surprise, kids! *Now* you all know why I changed N from 'nest' to 'national government'!"

prince of leaves said...

The kids were confused as to why "national government" was represented with a picture of a nest, but they started to sense a theme when they saw "union" represented by a picture of a family, "taxes" represented by a picture of candy, and "Republican" represented by the Grim Reaper.

BigBren1650 said...

Secret service had to restrain the President because he did not fit the criteria required to enter the blacks only classroom.

JohnS1959 said...

"Yes ma'am", related Jamal, "we have been learning about reading and writing, and of course the repeated failure of Keynesian economics - pretty simple stuff really it is a wonder why some people don't get it".

JohnS1959 said...

"Oh no dear", replied the First Lady, "Malia and Sasha go to private school - we don't expose them to unionized teachers".

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

" nuq wa' 'oH QaQ Daq Sop"

mpur said...

Oh, my God. I just realized what M'chele means by "healthy eating in schools"

molson said...

Can I ride the horsey next. Can I? Can I?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

What, no drapes?
No, Bergmann's had a 2 for 1 dry cleaning special. I'm wearing my Klingon dress uniform today, hoping to qualify for V the K's sexy alien contest.

-OR-

Conservative zealots are demanding that the school remove the Oo and use a less obscene example than an octoPUSSY.

-OR-

A quick, coquettish glance perhaps, but at that moment Secret Service agent Dave realized how much he loved Secret Service agent Steve.
Note- if I suddenly stop posting and disappear, it wasn't cause I got bored.

jj said...

Follow up on Dub's comment.... combined IQ in classroom (after Secret Service Agent walks out of room) 125...

jj said...

Secret Service Agent's thought bubble, "I wish to hell I didn't have to carry these ribs in my pocket. The sauce is ruining my jacket and dogs follow me eveywhere."

Army of Dad said...

Right about now the Secret Service agent realizes that he only saw two kids in the mirror!

Army of Dad said...

M'Chel thought bubble: Oh Allah, I need another vacation!

American Elephant said...

Eager to prove once and for all that she was not a Klingon, FLOTUS began wearing her Romulan High Command uniform to public events.