1. "And later, M'Chel's takin' us to Planned Parenthood to get tutored!"
2. By strange coincidence, "Mm, No" is most men's response when asked if the FLOTUS is "doable."
3. "M is for M'Chel... we even drew you a picture." ATDHE.
4. I'm not about to tell a union thug how to run her school, but I think the "National Government" caption would work better under either the monkey or octopus picture.
5. "Later, the Safe School Czar is going to illustrate the letter 'P' for us, but first, little DeShawn here is going to have to put on the gimp suit."
Best of Jack Reacher
"I'm filling in today because your teacher is in Madison, working to perfect a dictatorship of the proletariat. Hey, hey! That's not for publication, you!"
Best of Double the U
Alright... off to the slaughterhouse for you two little heads of cattle.
Best of Submariner
FLOTUS; "Today's lesson is wealth redistribution. Cowboy Carl represents the evil, rich, Republicans who take everything from honest people. Shanene is a poor but good Democrat welfare recipient. Carl; give everything in your basket to Shanene. You can keep the receipt.
Any questions class?"
Best of Rodney Dill
Kid on Right: "...but I'm a cowboy, I can be your little Woody."
Michelle: "Sorry... Barry already has that job."
Best of dub
And in here, Mrs Obama, is the room where we package the crack and load it into baskets for distribution.
Best of jimmy
"Class, this is Mrs. Obama. Yes, she's the one who took away your lunchtime french-fries and gave you celery sticks instead. But just for today---ribs for everybody!"
*yay!!!*
Best of Vinney
On the next Maury it's a very special "Who's the Daddy?".
Best of prince of leaves
Travis' days as a Secret Service bodyguard were numbered when his compulsive fascination with mirrors and other shiny objects came to light.
Best of JohnS1959
"Yes ma'am", related Jamal, "we have been learning about reading and writing, and of course the repeated failure of Keynesian economics - pretty simple stuff really it is a wonder why some people don't get it".
Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
" nuq wa' 'oH QaQ Daq Sop"
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Conservative zealots are demanding that the school remove the Oo and use a less obscene example than an octoPUSSY.
Best of jj
Secret Service Agent's thought bubble, "I wish to hell I didn't have to carry these ribs in my pocket. The sauce is ruining my jacket and dogs follow me eveywhere."
31 comments:
ObEqualTime: If the GOP has their way, we'll be closing this place down to make room for a tech support call center. Any chance we can get those alphabet signs done up in Hindi?
Cowboy on Right: "Gee... you think I could be President someday?"
Michelle; "Why? Were y'all born in Kenya?"
"I'm filling in today because your teacher is in Madison, working to perfect a dictatorship of the proletariat. Hey, hey! That's not for publication, you!"
Alright... off to the slaughterhouse for you two little heads of cattle.
"..and I'm sure you kids will enjoy the gov't sponsored filed trip to Sharia Land...first kid to get his hand cut off wins a big prize!"
Ms M'Chel, please tell us again how you and Barry Hussein met....well kids, I answered an ad to be one of his 72 virgins!"
WV: sicko
really!!!!!
Cowboy Hakeem; "How much is this vacation soaking the tax payer, Mrs. The President?"
FLOTUS; "Today's lesson is wealth redistribution. Cowboy Carl represents the evil, rich, Republicans who take everything from honest people. Shanene is a poor but good Democrat welfare recipient. Carl; give everything in your basket to Shanene. You can keep the receipt.
Any questions class?"
Kid on Right: "...but I'm a cowboy, I can be your little Woody."
Michelle: "Sorry... Barry already has that job."
Combined credit score in the classroom... 125.
And in here, Mrs Obama, is the room where we package the crack and load it into baskets for distribution.
Yo, M'chelle, how's 'bout choo redistribute some dat watermelon bubble gum in this d'rections.
"Class, this is Mrs. Obama. Yes, she's the one who took away your lunchtime french-fries and gave you celery sticks instead. But just for today---ribs for everybody!"
*yay!!!*
"Are these children my lunch?"
On the next Maury it's a very special "Who's the Daddy?".
Vinney
Taking a cue from her husband's handling of Birthers, Mrs. Obama baits her detractors into calling her a "Klingon" by actually dressing as one.
Travis' days as a Secret Service bodyguard were numbered when his compulsive fascination with mirrors and other shiny objects came to light.
Teacher: "So here's our big surprise, kids! *Now* you all know why I changed N from 'nest' to 'national government'!"
The kids were confused as to why "national government" was represented with a picture of a nest, but they started to sense a theme when they saw "union" represented by a picture of a family, "taxes" represented by a picture of candy, and "Republican" represented by the Grim Reaper.
Secret service had to restrain the President because he did not fit the criteria required to enter the blacks only classroom.
"Yes ma'am", related Jamal, "we have been learning about reading and writing, and of course the repeated failure of Keynesian economics - pretty simple stuff really it is a wonder why some people don't get it".
"Oh no dear", replied the First Lady, "Malia and Sasha go to private school - we don't expose them to unionized teachers".
" nuq wa' 'oH QaQ Daq Sop"
Oh, my God. I just realized what M'chele means by "healthy eating in schools"
Can I ride the horsey next. Can I? Can I?
What, no drapes?
No, Bergmann's had a 2 for 1 dry cleaning special. I'm wearing my Klingon dress uniform today, hoping to qualify for V the K's sexy alien contest.
-OR-
Conservative zealots are demanding that the school remove the Oo and use a less obscene example than an octoPUSSY.
-OR-
A quick, coquettish glance perhaps, but at that moment Secret Service agent Dave realized how much he loved Secret Service agent Steve.
Note- if I suddenly stop posting and disappear, it wasn't cause I got bored.
Follow up on Dub's comment.... combined IQ in classroom (after Secret Service Agent walks out of room) 125...
Secret Service Agent's thought bubble, "I wish to hell I didn't have to carry these ribs in my pocket. The sauce is ruining my jacket and dogs follow me eveywhere."
Right about now the Secret Service agent realizes that he only saw two kids in the mirror!
M'Chel thought bubble: Oh Allah, I need another vacation!
Eager to prove once and for all that she was not a Klingon, FLOTUS began wearing her Romulan High Command uniform to public events.
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