Monday, February 07, 2011

How do you spell "incompetence?"


1. "Look, an original copy of the Bill of Rights. I crossed out wherever it said 'right' and wrote 'poop.'"

2. "Bill Ayers would be so proud. This is the best manifesto EVER!"

3. "You look great, Congressman Frank. Have a great time at the ball."

4. "So are you Kagan, Albright, or Napolitano? I swear I can't tell you guys apart."

5. "All right, I've written 'I will not destroy the economy' 100 times. Can I go now?"

Best of jimmy
Elena, thanks for coming over. If I'm going to sign the deed to the White House over to China, I'll need a notary.

Best of dadoctah
"An autograph? I'm flattered. Would you be kind enough to give me yours in return, Mr Lovitz?"

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
The president was delighted that the connect-the-dots drawing was a bunny.

Best of Oiao
"There! This Presidential Order will ensure that every white child will be forever saddled with a black child in his or her back!"

Best of molson
There... now we're just a few dykes away from our dystopian paradise.

Best of dub
Hey thats cool...no matter where you stand in room, it looks like George Washington is crying.

Best of Submariner
That ought to do it; now spend freely and turn this office into the command room of a Klingon Bird of Pray. Can't wait to see Netanyahu's face when he sees it...

Best of Rodney Dill
"Yes. I can definitely declare you Queen of the Court."

Best of Dr. Doom
"Ok, OK, I'll sign it for you", said the President, "I don't even want to know what you are going to do with Ellen Degeneres and a little girl to be named later..."

Best of Jack Reacher
"...and this means you're pre-approved for a line of credit. Those new pants suits are as good as yours."

Best of Dactyl
Tell you what, Kagan. I've been working on this damn Sudoku puzzle since the middle of the campaign. You help me finish it and I'll nominate you for the Supreme Court.

27 comments:

Double the U said...

"What am I signing? Oh, a bill to allow free girl scout cookies to everyone? People will like that. Why does it say, 'Give England's nuclear secrets to Russia' at the top?

Anonymous said...

"Sir, just sign this birth certificate under Marcus Welbey and everything should be in order."

Vinney

Dr. Doom said...

"And this Executive Order makes it illegal for Congressmen to explain the three branches of government", said the President, "Elena, I need you to make sure the court comes down on the right, er I mean left, side of this."

blue said...

"You know Elena, for a fat girl you don't sweat much!"

jimmy said...

Why sure, I'll sign your slam book on Justice Thomas. But let me use my left hand so he won't recognize my handwriting. Oh, that Ruth Ginsberg sure does have a way with the F word!

--or--

Elena, thanks for coming over. If I'm going to sign the deed to the White House over to China, I'll need a notary.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Oh, I sign everything with my left hand and then blame Biden. This way they won't be able to pin much on me.

-OR-

Look, this is the last expense voucher I'm signing for all your HoHo's and McNuggets! Lordy woman, either you stick to vegetables or I'm going to order your jaws be wired shut until New Years.

jj said...

Elena, here is your bathroom permission slip for the SCOTUS building.

dadoctah said...

"An autograph? I'm flattered. Would you be kind enough to give me yours in return, Mr Lovitz?"

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

You know Elena, this is the room that Bill & Monica played hide the cigar in................

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

The president was delighted that the connect-the-dots drawing was a bunny.

Submariner said...

...Voila! Klingons are now legal aliens in Amerikkka.

Submariner said...

There ya go; Executive Order 125826b - Presidents are no longer subject to term limits.

Submariner said...

NFL teams with black as one of their team colors officially start the game with a 14 point lead. Oh yeah, back date that to Jan first this year. I hate Wisconsin teams...

Submariner said...

Let's see; all electoral college votes from cities of 500,000 citizens and greater will now be tripled, and all areas with less than 5000 population per square mile get no electoral votes at all. That ought to put a lock on my second term...

Oiao said...

"There! This Presidential Order will ensure that every white child will be forever saddled with a black child in his or her back!"

molson said...

There... now we're just a few dykes away from our dystopian paradise.

dub said...

Hey thats cool...no matter where you stand in room, it looks like George Washington is crying.

dub said...

No, its not new...the mirrored rug was left over from the Clinton administration.

Submariner said...

That ought to do it; now spend freely and turn this office into the command room of a Klingon Bird of Pray. Can't wait to see Netanyahu's face when he sees it...

Submariner said...

...and another thing; make sure the, uh, new contractor knows how to make a clear, um, distinction between a um, door and a, uh, um, window.

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "22 states bankrupted - only 34 to go..."

Submariner said...

Barry, you're writing out your grocery list on the back of the Constitution! Wouldn't we be better served using it as a doormat?

Rodney Dill said...

"Yes. I can definitely declare you Queen of the Court."

Dr. Doom said...

"Ok, OK, I'll sign it for you", said the President, "I don't even want to know what you are going to do with Ellen Degeneres and a little girl to be named later..."

Jack Reacher said...

"...and here's Tippy The Turtle riding a bicycle."

Jack Reacher said...

"...and this means you're pre-approved for a line of credit. Those new pants suits are as good as yours."

Dactyl said...

Tell you what, Kagan. I've been working on this damn Sudoku puzzle since the middle of the campaign. You help me finish it and I'll nominate you for the Supreme Court.