Friday, February 25, 2011

The Beardy and Cankles Show

Al


1. The Most Interesting Man in the World doesn't always drink beer, but one look at those hips made him slam a case of Old Milwaukee.

2. "Would you like to come back to my hotel? I have a thing for bitchy, frigid, power-crazed, pear-shaped women."

3. "Forgive me, Madame Secretary, but hocking a gigantic loogie on the shoulder of a woman is a sign of great respect in my country." (Snicker)

4. "Madame Secretary, may I offer you a breath mint to cover the tuna fish sandwich you evidently had for lunch."

5. "Don't be afraid, Madame Secretary. When you die, the ghost of someone you loved is often sent to guide you into the spirit world. I am the ghost of Karl Marx. "

Best of Vinney
"Please Madame Secretary forgive me. The cigars for your husband were meant as a gesture of friendship."

Best of Jack Reacher
"Tell me, from which of these people did you not get a harrumph? I will have him executed."

Assistant to the Regional Threadwinner dub
Who's the guy talking to Grimmace?

Best of Jay Guevara
"So shoot me! I forgot to bring a piece of chalk!"

Best of sonicfrog
Hey, Bill had his fun... Now it's Hillary's turn!!!... But why Wolf Blitzer???

Best of Rodney Dill
"Wasn't your hump on the other side?"
"Hump? What hump?"

Best of molson
"Madame Secretary talking to you now reminds me that when I was a boy, I had an ass. Oh how I loved to ride that ass and when I wasn't riding that ass, all I could think about was riding that ass. I want to ride that ass again, but it is impossible... or is it?"

Threadwinner Dr. Doom
"I don't always entertain incompetent bunglers but when I do, I choose the Obama administration", said the most interesting man in the world, "Stay scared my friends - stay very very scared"...

Best of Wesley M.
Secretary Clinton realizes her State Department staff has mistranslated "Press the RESET button" yet again...

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Please Madame Secretary forgive me. The cigars for your husband were meant as a gesture of friendship."

Vinney

blue said...

Hillary just smiled when Aristotle Onassis Jr asked her to be his Jackie-O

Jack Reacher said...

"Perhaps later, Madame Secretary, we can swap jackets. I, um, could have that one taken in, I suppose."

Jack Reacher said...

"Tell me, from which of these people did you not get a harrumph? I will have him executed."

dub said...

Who's the guy talking to Grimmace?

Jay Guevara said...

"So shoot me! I forgot to bring a piece of chalk!"

Rodney Dill said...

Hillary: "What are you hitting on me for? I thought you were gay."
Most Interesting Man: "What? You're not a man?"

sonicfrog said...

Hey, Bill had his fun... Now it's Hillary's turn!!!... But why Wolf Blitzer???

Rodney Dill said...

"Pardon my English... I was sure the expression was 'Great Wide Hope.'"

Rodney Dill said...

"Wasn't your hump on the other side?"
"Hump? What hump?"

dadoctah said...

Regis and Kelly have really let themselves...oh, the hell with it.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

That's one way to put the "hip" back in hippo.
please pass the eye bleach

-OR-

Better Homes & Gardens - Despot Villas issue
I'm particularly proud of this executive torture chamber. Let's skip the state dinner, spend the night in. I'll call Prisoner Hut, order us two large peasants, you and I can play Gitmo & Abu Ghraib.

-OR-

My dear, I'd like to caress your cheek... up close, your skin looks like fine corinthian leather.

Anonymous said...

Bearded Dude to Hillabeast: "You should take that advice from Michelle to eat rite and reduce that fat ass."

Oiao

molson said...

"Madame Secretary talking to you now reminds me that when I was a boy, I had an ass. Oh how I loved to ride that ass and when I wasn't riding that ass, all I could think about was riding that ass. I want to ride that ass again, but it is impossible... or is it?"

Jay Guevara said...

"What? What did I say? It was a compliment! Your ass implants _did_ turn out really well!"

Double the U said...

I think you are confused Hillary, Dos Equis is a beer, manajatwa is with two women.... but who did you have in mind?

Dr. Doom said...

"I don't always entertain incompetent bunglers but when I do, I choose the Obama administration", said the most interesting man in the world, "Stay scared my friends - stay very very scared"...

Wesley M. said...

Secretary Clinton realizes her State Department staff has mistranslated "Press the RESET buttom" yet again...

dadoctah said...

eHarmony dot com fail.

Rodney Dill said...

".... but, rhino is the new cougar."

Submariner said...

Pardon me senor - might I push in your stool?

Submariner said...

ORA

Now go do that voodoo that you do so well!

Submariner said...

"Well what did you expect? You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers.
These are people of the land.
The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.