Sunday, January 23, 2011

Sunday Guest Captions

Guesties: Carpe Phlogistan


1. Worst L'oreal Face Rejuvenation Cream commercial ever. (btw, this is the After photo... you do not want to see the Before)
2. In protest of blackface actors, geographically-challenged Leroy Vintoobah portrays George Washington crossing the Delaware River while singing "Carry Me Back to Old Virginny" to the liberal crowd at Wolf Trap Theater.
3. Once again, Burton ruins it for all the other crackheads by snorting the whole bag.
4. Chef-in-training Tyronne Putz learns not to test for doneness by sticking his finger in a Pillsbury popover.
5. Fans of Rush Limbaugh were shocked when his pancake makeup began to fall off under the hot studio lights.


Best of Oiao
"I F-CKING LOVE COCAINE!"



Just had to!

Best of David
"Where da cosmetically-white women at?"

Best of prince of leaves
Captured on film: the exact moment when Barbra Streisand's makeup assistant decided to give up and turn in his gunnite sprayer for good.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"I'll kill and eat the first sumbitch that calls me a chalk-faced whore!"

Best of Mr Hankey
Kenya's The Bachelorette is disqualified after eating suitors.

Best of mega
Bob blew his last $4,000 on tooth bleaching, and felt great about the results.

Best of Army of Dad
I love the smell of volcano in the morning.

Best of Matt the K
Denzel Washington is Commandant " Ilsa in Ilsa the She-Wolf VII: Chalk Face Whores oh the Congo"

23 comments:

Oiao said...

"I F-CKING LOVE COCAINE!"



Just had to!

David said...

"Where da cosmetically-white women at?"

prince of leaves said...

His skin eventually healed, but Cyrus would never shake the resulting phobia of blueberry waffles.

prince of leaves said...

Captured on film: the exact moment when Barbra Streisand's makeup assistant decided to give up and turn in his gunnite sprayer for good.

Dr. Doom said...

The keeper of the President's birth certificate.

mega said...

N-thu muttered, "Dang, that Hillary is one ugly bitch."

mega said...

Obama said tersely to M'chel: "You couldn't have shown me the pic of your mom BEFORE we got married?"

mega said...

Makes you sort of miss the days when Gibbs was the one doing the pressers.

blue said...

"I needs ObamaCare!"

Kaptain Krude said...

"I'll kill the first sumbitch that calls me a chalk-faced whore!"

dub said...

Just went down on M'chelle huh?

Adriane said...

Reginald exclaimed, "But the truth is, Penelope darling, I don't know how long I was standing out in the Sun! They did take after take, black latex suit, no black latex suit, coming out of the surf, down on her knees ... I ... I ... I don't know what came over me...

What? Walk away?

Well, I uh, actually couldn't walk, dear, that's what I'm trying to tell you ..."

Mr Hankey said...

What if Monica never washed her face?

Mr Hankey said...

Kenya's The Bachelorette is disqualified after eating suitors.

mega said...

18 discrimination lawsuits later, meet the new Face of match.com

mega said...

"Psoriasis. Yep, it might be covered. Was your original skin color black or white?" HHS applied the principles of social justice rigorously in determining who was covered and who wasn't.

mega said...

Bob blew his last $4,000 on tooth bleaching, and felt great about the results.

Army of Dad said...

I love the smell of volcano in the morning.

Army of Dad said...

At times like this Dusty really hated his parents.

Artfldgr said...

Max factor, always at the cutting edge of diversity make-up trends...

Artfldgr said...

So that's what it looks like when someone finally gets their head out of the sand...

Matt the K said...

Denzel Washington is Commandant " Ilsa in Ilsa the She-Wolf VII: Chalk Face Whores oh the Congo"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Ge-SUUUUND-heit!"