Monday, January 31, 2011

Our President, the Intellectual Giant!

Brender


1. "Look! Used, it's only $4.99 and the President of Egypt should just love this."

2. "Look, maybe it's the Frank Marshall Davis in me, but I just don't get why Qui Gonn didn't brutally sodomize Anakin when he became his 'master.'"

3. About six weeks into his term, Bammy started referring to the women of the Press Corps as his 'Fly Girls.' None of them have objected.

4. Bored with tedious economic and foreign policy issues, Bammy gathers research for his epic work of fan-fic about Jar-Jar Binks being elected President of the Empire.

5. "The, um, 'Stuff White People Like' website said y'all are into this. I'm, um, trying to meet you half way, you stupid crackers!"

Best of blue
"I hope they take cash, it's so hard to get a credit card without a valid ID"

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
"Are there picture of white women in here?"

Best of Rodney Dill
"My God... Palin was a contributing editor... how will I ever keep up with that woman.:

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Hi, I found this in the Lincoln bedroom wrapped in a Mission Accomplished banner. Can I exchange it for copy of Mein Kampf and a Best of Ella Fitzgerald CD?

Best of dub
You know M'chelle has gotten too fat lately when Barry decides to masturbate to Jabba the Hut instead.

Best of Dr. Doom
"Oh good", thought the President, "I just can't get enough of that C3P0 - he really knows how to communicate properly with foreign dignitaries!"

Best of dadoctah
"Anyone who ever said 'you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy' never had to address a joint session of Congress."

Best of jj
Blonde thought bubble, "Wait'll he finds out Costanza had that book in the bathroom".

Best of Jack Reacher
"Time magazine has compared me to Reagan, so I guess I'd better read up on this stuff."

31 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

The farce is strong in this one.

Rodney Dill said...

I got me my Star Wars... just like Reagan...

blue said...

"I hope they take cash, it's so hard to get a credit card without a valid ID"

Double the U said...

"hmmm I can't wait to find out what Capitan Kirk and Spock does in this book!"

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"are there picture of white women in here?"

HLam said...

Domestic issues? Check. Foreign Policy? Check. Space Program? I'll know all I need to know after watching this bad boy....

Oiao said...

Title: "Our President, the Intellectual Giant"

I just quit pissing myself and shitting in my pants.... after reading that.

WV - womog - the Dyke who teaches environmental awareness to 8th graders (and has no formal degree in science or bio) that lives across the street.

Rodney Dill said...

"My God... Palin was a contributing editor... how will I ever keep up with that woman.:

GregMan said...

"Um, I, uh, hope this book has, duh, lots of pictures in it, because, ah, those big words make my, umm, head hurt."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

So, you want to donate this to Acorn's Teach an Illiterate to Read campaign?
Well, I suppose there's some sort of write off that could help me balance the deficit.
How much is it worth?
Um, maybe... 1 Trillion dollars?
Wait a second, this book's been in the bathroom!
Oh, that's ridiculous!
No, I used to work at the Govt. Printing Office and this book's been flagged! You get your toilet book out of here before I jump over this counter and punch you in the brain!

ORA Seinfeld

-OR-

Do you know if there's a way to contact Yoda and maybe have him teach me how to use the FORCE? I've got a bunch of republican TIE fighters on my tail.

GregMan said...

"Meesa like dis book, yes! Meesa likes da pictures! Yousa buy dis for meesa!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Through a series of carefully crafted cullings, the White House Press Corps has been reduced to a giggling gaggle of Monica Lewinsky wannabes.

-OR-

Hi, I found this in the Lincoln bedroom wrapped in a Mission Accomplished banner. Can I exchange it for copy of Mein Kampf and a Best of Ella Fitzgerald CD?

dub said...

You know M'chelle has gotten too fat lately when Barry decides to masturbate to Jabba the Hut instead.

Dr. Doom said...

"Oh good", thought the President, "I just can't get enough of that C3P0 - he really knows how to communicate properly with foreign dignitaries!"

metalgarth said...

"Let me clear. I am only buying this book in hopes that I can pick up a few key Wookie phrases so I can better communicate with the First Lady"

And then Dawn's head exploded like the Death Star

metalgarth said...

Lenny likes Star Trek. Carl likes Star Wars. They both love Will & Grace reruns.

metalgarth said...

the vw: is "felinism". The internet really is made of cats, cats, cats.

dadoctah said...

Go on, laff it up, fuzzballs!

dadoctah said...

"Anyone who ever said 'you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy' never had to address a joint session of Congress."

jj said...

Does this book have a picture of the flag left by Neil Armstrong?

jj said...

Blonde thought bubble, "Wait'll he finds out Costanza had that book in the bathroom".

Oiao said...

Obama can read.... anything on on a TelePromter?

prince of leaves said...

When he's taking some well-deserved "me" time, President Obama likes to relax with a cup of cocoa and enjoy a good pop-up book.

[no seriously...look closely...it really is a pop-up book]

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "Whoa! '2012, the prequel' Is that a campaign slogan or what?"

Rodney Dill said...

"I just gots to make Jar-Jar my next White house spokes-per-spokesthing."

Anonymous said...

This explains it. In "Dreams of My Father" dad was really Death Vader.

Vinney

Jack Reacher said...

"Time magazine has compared me to Reagan, so I guess I'd better read up on this stuff."

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

Onlooker 1; "Boxers or briefs?"
Onlooker 2; "Depends..."

Submariner said...

Obamalama thawt bubble; "What in the southeast side? There's not a single plan for a Klingon Death Star in this. M'Chel won't be happy..."

Kaptain Krude said...

"Hm, here's a picture on the cover. Lessee, there's Luke, and Princess Leia, and Han Solo, and the sexiest woman I've ever seen... Wait, what?" And now Obama's love affair with M'chell can now be fully explained.


wv: blutme - "Blutme! That's the sexiest woman I've ever seen!"