1. "Don't worry. It happens to all men, sometimes."
2. "Speaker Boehner, really, at some point you need to stop crying."
3. "There, there... hey, listen, there were 61 captions submitted to the Vulcan make-out pic. I'm sorry none of yours made 'Best of' but competition gets brutal when there are that many submissions."
4. "There, there, Mr. Olbermann. You can still get a gig on Al Gore's Current network. If that's still around. Is that still around? Let me get back to you."
5. Zaphod was po'd that the new head was installed backwards and female, but after a few Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters, he was like, "Why the Hell not?"
Best of Submariner
There, there; I promise I'll keep our toddler away from your Lego's from now on...
Best of prince of leaves
"At long last!" Rachel sighed in relief. "An orthodontist who can fix my freakish overbite!"
Best of metalgarth
He thinks: "this is so much better than my Inflatable M'Chele Obama doll"
She thinks: "where can I get an Inflatable Rubber Cowboy"
Best of jimmy
Rachel thoughtbubble: "What a surprise! But which ex-husband is he? Oh, lord. which one? Think, Rachel, think!"
--or--
"It's okay, Jamie. I know how much you loved watching Olbermann every night. I'm sure we can find you someone equally insane to obsess over."
Best of Dr. Doom
Steve was wondering if he might get to second base tonight. Barbara was wondering if she had left her vibrator running in the cloak room again...
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Thawtbubble - Oh great, my fake boobs are making that crinkly/crunching/sloshing sound again. When will they make a silicone bag that doesn't DO that??
Best of jimmy
"There there, Mr. Speaker. It'll be okay. Everyone knows that mean ol' Nancy's just jealous because you can still move your face."
Best of Kaptain Krude
Dual thought bubble: "I wonder if I left the iron on?"
25 comments:
"In 20 years they will let us do this with our clothes off!"
Tomorrow on "The Edge Of The Abyss;"
Talula reveals to her husband that she is actually his brother Rafael.
Thawt bubble; "Who the hell started that rumor that Jon Edwards was good?"
v word - pecounte - the sauce that Jets fan will put on their chips during the game tomorrow.
Thawt bubble; "Whoa, Whoa! WHOA! Maybe I shouldn't be so hasty about only getting my kicks above the waste..."
There, there; I promise I'll keep our toddler away from your Lego's from now on...
Looks like somebody just find out about Santa.
Man: "Aww, cheer up, honey -- you may have giant teeth, but you'll never look as horsey as Sarah Jessica Parker!"
Thought bubble: "Just close your eyes, and think of Hillary..."
Thought bubble: "He overlooked the embezzlement that bankrupted his firm...he forgave my torrid weekend at the stables with his prized Arabian...he brushed it off when I electrocuted his meddling family...but what will he think of me when he finds the midget love dungeon in my basement?"
"At long last!" Rachel sighed in relief. "An orthodontist who can fix my freakish overbite!"
He thinks: "this is so much better than my Inflatable M'Chele Obama doll"
She thinks: "where can I get an Inflatable Rubber Cowboy"
"Baby, don't you think a condom would be enough protection?"
Rachel thoughtbubble: "What a surprise! But which ex-husband is he? Oh, lord. which one? Think, Rachel, think!"
--or--
"It's okay, Jamie. I know how much you loved watching Olbermann every night. I'm sure we can find you someone equally insane to obsess over."
Steve was wondering if he might get to second base tonight. Barbara was wondering if she had left her vibrator running in the cloak room again...
Thawtbubble - Oh great, my fake boobs are making that crinkly/crunching/sloshing sound again. When will they make a silicone bag that doesn't DO that??
-OR-
My oh my, well hung and a good conversationalist. A horse is a horse of course of course, I shall call you Mr. Ed!
-OR-
Two minutes into the date and Lance has already managed to unsnap my bra and peel off my pantyhose... with his foot. Now I'm not so sure I want to learn why he's so popular!
Woman's thought: "That's not a rabbit in his pocket!"
Wait'll he finds out that I've got one bigger than his...
"There there, Mr. Speaker. It'll be okay. Everyone knows that mean ol' Nancy's just jealous because you can still move your face."
"Fifty years from now I'm going to do WHAT to the US healthcare system??? Hold me..." Time travel had its downsides.
Dual thought bubble: "I wonder if I left the iron on?"
Thought bubble: "I could really go for a Philly cheese steak right about now."
Thought bubble: "This will teach me to wonder aloud what Steve would do for a Klondike bar."
Standard Capshun #325: Where will you be when your laxative kicks in?
"Why did I ask??? Why did he tell???"
Rachel: "Don't worry, honey--I'm sure amnesia is covered by ObamaCare. Heck, mass amnesia is the only reason it got passed in the first place."
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